Got called "woke" for standing up for a teenage girl on the bus

[Bdaybdilemma]

Was on my way home from town. The bus arrived and a teenage girl who had been stood next to the shelter climbed aboard ahead of the older people in the shelter, skipping the queue. A man (maybe 60 but tall and big build) standing behind her beside the shelter, pulled her backwards using the handle of her backpack, forcefully enough that it pulled her whole body backwards. She didn't say anything to him, kind of awkwardly smiled.

I didn't say anything at the time as I was trying to establish whether she knew him. He then sat at the front of the bus talking to the women she'd attempted to push in front of, and the girl went to sit at the back. I had a chat with her, she was quite shy and told me she didn't know him and she was just on her way home from college.

Just before my stop I approached him and told him quietly I'd seen him grab the backpack of the young woman to pull her backwards and it wasn't ok. He said she'd tried to cut the queue and it was just a little tug.

The two women who he was talking to then starting saying it was disrespectful (not sure if they meant the line cutting or me confronting him) and "oh are you woke". I said regardless of what you think of someone's behaviour it's unacceptable to touch them, and if he had grabbed the backpack of an older person, would that be respectful?

YABU - he was right to grab her
YANBU - he shouldn't have grabbed her

She was being a typical teenager - not in the wrong - they are always in cloud cuckoo land so she just waited for the bus then got on it when it arrived, simple. No wrongdoing at all.

Except there was wrong doing - she pushed in the queue. And don’t tar all teenagers with the same brush, no way would mine push in front of anyone, let alone older people.

I think you should mind your own business, OP.

We was wrong to pull her backpack but perhaps she might think twice next time and show a little respect to those also waiting for the bus

Goodness me, you need to have a coffee or something!

@Thepeopleversuswork "I don't think his age in itself is important aside from the fact he's an adult and clearly old enough to know better. What is very material is that he's a bloke and she's a teenage girl"
The second thing the OP said about him was his age......

Well done for sticking up for her.

Some people are nasty bullies and this man obviously was one.

If she had turned around and told him to fuck off, he’d be acting like a victim.

I wish more people stuck up for those around them.
Well done OP 👏

OK but the point was, I think (and I'm not the OP so I can't be sure) that there's a big difference in physical power and status between a teenage girl and a fully grown man. The same would have applied if he'd been 27 or 49. I don't think it was meant to be a dig at pensioners.

I’d rather be woke than whatever has happened to the rest of society

Because it demonstrates he was old enough to know better and not likely old enough to be infirm or lack strength.

People on here are insane. It doesn’t matter if she jumped the queue or not, a grown man has no business pulling back a teenage girl by her bag at all.

what a disgusting man. Imagine what he does in private if he’s so confident to be such a bully in public.

I didnt notice this before pregnancy.. but teens and older people push in a lot. Absolutely all the older people were pushing in front of me for a delayed bus when I was visibly shivering and needed a warm bus(due to puking up everything Id eaten that day). but they didn't push in front of the huge man. In the end I just pushed in front of some of them. But some teens also need some education. Ive seen them jump in front of frail people.

Hilarious 🤔

I'd put a lot of money on the fact he wouldn't have done that to a 6 foot, tattooed lad built like a brick shithouse!

Tells you all you need to know about the bully.

Just quoting someone else, don’t shoot the messenger 🤷🏻‍♀️

I love you saying the bus pulls up wherever it likes. So true. Especially round Oxford Street or King's Cross. The bus stop is more a random possibility than a fixed location!

@WinterWaffle "Oh dear oh dear, I always thought the ageism claims on here were exaggerated."

Not on here much, then?

Men need to keep their fucking hands off girls.

You don’t think it’s relevant to point out that he was a grown man, old enough to know better, and she was a teenager?

Yes, and that's if you are standing at the right stop out of the four it might stop at.

Honestly never seen one before, but that shocked me enough to report it.

Why is 'they'll be dead' even used as an insult? Yeah, they lived 80+ years, up think they care? They lived their life already

Bloody hell.

All he had to say was that they were there first.

It may have been her first time on the bus or she may have thought they were waiting for a different bus.

I accidentally pushed in only a few weeks ago because there were lots of people stood around but none were stood anywhere near the actual bus stop, so I assumed they were waiting for a different bus.

When the bus arrived at my bus stop I just got on it and everyone started moaning that I had pushed in.

Apparently the bus stops at the actual bus stop to see if anyone is getting off and then closes the door and goes down the road to pick up the passengers.

There was no sign to say this, there was no bus stop sign where the people were waiting and all of the buses I’ve ever got drop off and pick up from the same place.

I just apologised and made sure not to do it again.
No one physically needed to touch me or pull me back.

There is absolutely no excuse for the man to have pulled her back.

Well that's how shitty behaviour continues isn't it? No-one challenges it.

You absolutely did the right thing OP.

Of course he should not have grabbed her. I am 5 foot 1 and manage to deal with such situations by saying clearly, ' I was ahead of you in the queue.'

He used physical force instead of language as he is an aggressive, entitled male bully. He wouldn't have grabbed a man equal in size and strength to him.