how did you come to terms with getting older?

[lemongrab33]

I can't cope with nasolabial folds/marionette lines so I've just had filler and happy with the result. I don't mind small crows' feet etc. but the nasolabial folds really got to me.
I feel ridiculous as I'm only in my 30s, my ageing is only just getting started.
I am planning to continue procedures as time goes on, I am just not sure how I'll find ageing, I know it's such a gradual process but still.
Is there anyone here that feels depressed about their looks and mourns their younger looks?
I hate the ageism towards women and the idea that men are more attracted to youth. Men don't face anywhere near the amount of pressure women do and I feel stupid for buying into it.

The worst judges of women for visibly ageing are other women.

Try to think less of it as something to 'come to terms with' and instead as something that is inevitably happening, so I will focus on other things.

I don’t even know what those things are you’re talking about.

You need to stop following whatever beauty advice it is you’re reading because it’s very toxic and is just trying to get money out of you.

You need to accept yourself as wonderful and beautiful inside and out. Lines won’t matter then. Stick to a good basic skincare regimen and forget the overpriced crap that doesn’t actually make you feel any better. Stop believing the patriarchal crap that women are only worth thier looks.

Getting old is a privilege denied to so many. Focus on living your life and enjoying it and building relationships. No amount of money will stop you aging.

Just have other stuff to worry about tbh!

I ignore it.

I have never devoted much time to my looks (although I love clothes, and wear what I love), which helps. I really don't think looks are the measure of a person, including me.

The exception is people making a statement with their looks that forces me to care: glaring tattoos, heavy make up, cosmetic procedures which aren't unnoticeable, people who use their appearance as a persona. In those cases, well yes, you're going to be fighting a losing battle because ageing will happen!

This! 🙌

To grow old is a privilege and those who have fillers etc always look older for it really. To age naturally is a beautiful thing and to have love for yourself in doing so is the most wonderful thing.

I look at it that the alternative to growing old is death, so I’ve embraced it.

Seriously though, I’ve never valued myself by my appearance and that makes it far easier. I just try to be the best ‘me’ I can be and it seems to be working so far (mid 60s).

I think about the people I know who didn’t make it to my age and thank my lucky stars. It’s better than the alternative.

It’s not something I really think about, it just is what it is. I’m far more interested in my physical and mental health, rather than my appearance. I make the best of myself, but I’d never have cosmetic surgery, botox, fillers, etc.

Bless you.

Im 65 and I feel I was lucky that cosmetic surgery wasn’t such a thing as it is now and it was only A list movie stars that were known to have done it. Nowadays it’s harder to tell how old anyone is these days. When nearly everyone doing it (depends on your social circle) you feel the need to fit in more.

The thing that’s kept me grounded is something I was told in my thirties.

You will never be as young again as you are today.

Many women hit the menopause and think, fuck it, this is who I am, I don’t need to be what society expects. It’s very liberating.

Do whatever makes you feel good and true to yourself. Just remember you possibly won’t care as much when you are older.

You need to stop following whatever beauty advice it is you’re reading because it’s very toxic and is just trying to get money out of you.

This. The whole thing is a big con.

When I turned 50 a few months ago I decided I was going to handle getting older by getting fit, strong & healthy so I joined my local gym, booked some sessions with a personal trainer & had a look at what I was eating to make sure it was good for me.

Also doing yoga classes for flexibility, learning Italian to keep my brain working, & spending time with friends.

Bugger fillers.

Well, growing old is a damn sight better than the alternative

if you feel like this now, you need counselling, because you have a major trauma coming up from mid 40s onwards.

I only know one person who uses fillers and Botox well. He’s a gay male hairdresser and he uses it, not to look younger, but to look the best he can for his age. And it works. He does look his age and he is a good looking guy if that age.

Fillers and Botox can actually make you older. I have been surprised by how young some people I know who use them are. I thought they were older. They look like older people trying to look younger.

YUP
couldn't give a fuck about lines. I'm 44 on Tuesday and I have been happier and more confident in my 40s than in any other decade in my life.

There’s not much choice but to get older.
I had a close relative die in their mid 30s. I now think of it as such a privilege to get older. Whilst I see pics of me when I’m younger and sometime think how I would love to have that youthful look again but nothing will stop you ageing.

celebrities with all their money all still age despite access to the best skin care and treatments. Ignore and embrace ageing and focus on other things. As so many people don’t get to age.

Honestly OP, the way to do it is to think of all the things that are great about you that don't involve your looks.

Oh, and you are wasting your youth obsessing about looking old. By the time you are 50 you’ll feel pretty stupid for hating your young face!

You’ll never be as young again, as you are today. Enjoy it!

I haven’t. Now i’m just waiting to shrivel up and die.

You sound fab 🙌

I am 45 and my face is changing, It does get me down sometimes. However, touchwood, I am fit and healthy and strong and I have "reset" ageing in my mind..which takes practice!

I now tell myself that to age is a privelige.❤️

My younger sister passed away at the age of thirty from a brain tumour, I think of her and tell myself I'm lucky, she will never get old or have many of the experiences I am lucky to have.

I am more than my physical appearance and I never look at other woman and think ...god you're ageing!

The way I cope with ageing at 45 is to think of my older brother who died as a teenager and to consider all the things I get to do and experience that he never had the chance to do. I find this really puts it into perspective for me.

What ever you do to yourself on the outside, will not change the ageing process, and its obvious to others any way, so you'll still look old with a stiff face. Your hands and neck will also give you away.

I’m 43 and felt like this in my 30s. Blowing my own trumpet I was very attractive from ages 16-28ish. I was always model ish and people would compliment me a lot. Then I developed disabilities which meant I put a LOT of weight on, my face as well as body and I really hated myself. I just don’t look in the mirror as much (!) I realise it doesn’t actually matter as much as I thought it did. The worst critics we have are ourselves, no one else really gives a shit. You literally need to learn to care less.

I’m with you OP and try as hard as I can to stay youthful and vital. I think a visit to Paris was a wake up call that as I age I need to invest in my clothes hair shoes etc I’m in my 50s and our kids are young adults now so almost fully independent and our parents were well minded and are now passed. It’s our time and I am enjoying having a few bob to spend on myself for a change. I will probably go to my grave with the hair dyed off me wearing my best clothes and good jewellery !!