how did you come to terms with getting older?

[lemongrab33]

I can't cope with nasolabial folds/marionette lines so I've just had filler and happy with the result. I don't mind small crows' feet etc. but the nasolabial folds really got to me.
I feel ridiculous as I'm only in my 30s, my ageing is only just getting started.
I am planning to continue procedures as time goes on, I am just not sure how I'll find ageing, I know it's such a gradual process but still.
Is there anyone here that feels depressed about their looks and mourns their younger looks?
I hate the ageism towards women and the idea that men are more attracted to youth. Men don't face anywhere near the amount of pressure women do and I feel stupid for buying into it.

Ageing is a privilege many are denied of. I'm thrilled to be "aging" as the alternative is literally to die.

Get off social media especially instagram TikTok Snapchat type social media, we are being bombarded with thousands and thousands of unrealistic images that seep into our subconscious and make us feel how you are at the moment but it's nonsense.

watch Stephanie Lange on YouTube (yes I know I said get off social media) but her videos really help you to understand how unrealistic the beauty standards are!

I would say, count your blessings that the only thing you worry about at the moment is losing your youthful looks. I just turned 40 and want I think about is what I achieved in my life and how much more I have left in me to do the things that align with my values, how to manage my health better, how to manage my relationships, where to spend my energy. I still look well but, more importantly, I feel well and I want this to continue so that I can do things I enjoy and be there for my friends and family.
We will grow older and nobody is expecting you to look 20 in a coffin. These are not the things that matter although, of course it is natural to want to look your best. I don't think people who chase youth look their best when they grow older. Although I am no stranger to a little cosmetic help, I am very mindful of not going overboard and only aiming to look well for my age and not younger. As my mum says "God gave us aging so we are forced to let go of vanity and focus on our souls" - that's not a bad way to look at it.

Embrace getting older, I think of friends who have died relatively young and missed out on a longer life and opportunity.

I welcomed ageing . No more sleezy attention from men . No more bitchiness from other women . I'm just grey , beige and left alone and I love it .

I like to look at my granny who is 89 and still sea swimming at this time of year and cycling and I think about how much life I have ahead of me. And she doesn't give a toss about how many wrinkles she has.

I had cancer at 29.

That helps.

Despite what society tells you, there is more to a woman than her appearance. Articles about female celebrities describe their shells, not them. We should apparently all think Kate Middleton is amazing because she has nice hair and a pretty dress, for example. That outweighs her actual character (which I have no idea about before I’m shouted out for bashing her: she may well be very nice indeed ;)) We are so much more than our exteriors. That’s what you need to realise and it’s people who also believe that with whom you need to surround yourself.

how did you come to terms with getting older

By understanding that ageing is a privilege and much much better than the alternative. Someone I know who was the same age as me died of cancer at 40. I am just so grateful to be alive & healthy.

I also surround myself with interests and hobbies where looks / youthfulness don’t matter (mainly outdoorsy & adventure sports) and I’m friends with people who value personality over looks.

That said I do stay active & consciously maintain a slim physique which I admit is for vanity as much as health reasons. I think being a healthy weight and neither overweight or too skinny is the best way to stay looking youthful.

I also think have fun and it keeps you young.

I have a friend who is mid-40s and has had lots of “work” done, she looks very glamorous but also her face just looks a bit odd - it’s quite obvious she’s had her lips done, Botox etc

I also think have fun and it keeps you young.

This. You don’t stop having fun when you’re old, you get old when you stop having fun.

The alternative is shit.

Besides, the aging in your 30s is tragic. By the time you get to your - ahem - late forties it becomes funny.

I am always joking with my friends at what has sagged, gone grey or fallen out lately.

I have no idea what you are talking about in your post, OP, but I do know that getting older is a privilege. I know this because because my best friend & her fiancé were killed in a car crash caused by a drunk driver when she was 22.

Thinking about her puts a few trivial skin blemishes in my 50s into perspective…

It's not that I want to look 25 forever, I don't, but certain lines can make you look more tired, angry, run down and so on. I just want to carry on looking fresh and vibrant.

'Fresh and vibrant' are just politically correct marketing-speak for 'young' though. I'm 52. The aspects of aging that concern me are health-related. I don't give a monkey's if I have some wrinkles!

I also subscribe to the looking after yourself and enjoying life philosophy! (Also relearning Italian) I'm in my early 50s, and since my early 40s, I have really focused on looking after myself for health and feeling good in myself.

If you want to have fillers, I won't criticise you, it's your choice. I would say that, looking back, keeping my face clean, moisturising and keeping out of the sun, along with eating well have been the best things for my skin.

Ageing I'm fine with, I don't want to look older though. I have regularly scheduled filler, botox, slight cosmetic procedure appts which make me feel great. I don't look like someone else, I don't have duck lips or fake cheekbones. I just look like I did pre 5 kids.

I also absolutely believe ageing is a privilege, I have known so many people who didn't get that privilege, many who died before they were even adults, or who missed their children growing up. I'd rather be alive and wrinkly than dead, but I get the privilege to be alive and not wrinkly.

I was 47 this week. I have nothing to come to terms with. The number of times you've been around the sun is an arbitrary way to measure anything. Ageing is inevitable so little point trying to reverse it. Focus your energies on your health and quality of life.

Honestly getting older sucks and if cosmetic procedures make you feel happier and aren’t causing you financial stress, then go for it.

I do agree with a PP though who said

if you feel like this now, you need counselling, because you have a major trauma coming up from mid 40s onwards.

I would look at the root cause rather than addressing the superficial symptoms, but you can do both.

I’m lucky that I look young for my 48 years which is purely down to good genes, but I wouldn’t rule out a touch of filler and Botox if I had the money.

I feel very down about it. I've never really paid more than basic attention to my face. But now I look at the pores and the sagging and the jowls and frankly feel awful.

Am peri meno. On HRT. All I can see is a middle aged woman when I look in the mirror.

Can't imagine having fillers and things though. Waste of money!

Honestly I’ve been too busy to notice. Now in my 40s and realised the last few months I’ve become really ugly. I was quite pretty pre kids but definitely not aged well.
I need to try and focus more on healt and fitness next year to try and balance myself as it’s making me quite depressed

What ends up happening is your eyesight starts deteriorating around 45, so you can’t critique yourself quite so rigorously. The slight haze then makes you look more attractive.

Peri/menopause adds another exciting dimension with a myriad of symptoms that make you focus on health over aesthetics. You know everything is starting to sag and soften at the same time, but you’re juggling a load of other balls and you just can’t give a shit about a line that travels from your nose to your lips.

like you I had Botox and fillers in my thirties. Now I'm nearly 50 and I haven’t done a thing for years. I’d need to spend so much money on it it would take the cash from my kids and I’d rather just accept it.

Then don't fall for all the beauty industry guff, it's a choice not a necessity. Many of us are fugly as heck at any age, if you were ever young and attractive at least you had that.
The alternative to getting older is not getting older, so I'll take getting older, thanks.

Yep, late 50s here and sometimes I take an accidental selfie or see a random photo and think, "yikes". I vaguely think of having my neck/jaw hacked at to get me back a jawline and a single chin, but I've always got something better to do so it may never happen!

I had a friend suffer a really nasty side effect from an elective (not cosmetic, she was unwell) surgery though, so there's that too...

As someone who has never been pretty (to the point where a stranger genuinely stopped me in the street and said, 'sorry love, you are really ugly), I can't really relate. I cried my way through my teenage years, wanted plastic surgery at 18 after having been bullied so badly just because I wasn't pretty. I never got surgery. I had to accept that l would never have my dream acting career as I wasn't talented enough to overcome my lack of looks.
Nearly 50 now and it's so liberating because it matters so much less. I don't get the nasty comments I used to get (although about 5 years ago, an acquaintance down the pub remarked on my husband being decent looking and told me I had 'punched well above my weight').
It took me years to realise I am more than my face. You are more than your face. Use this opportunity to find out what.

Honesty, I would advise you not to fixate on it and just accept how you look (easier said than done) - you just can’t predict what will happen so make the most of what you have now, in the moment.

I developed a form of alopecia - receding hairline/loss of eyebrows - in my mid-40s, no idea why. It sucks but I’ve learned to accept it - what else are you going to do? And it could be worse.

That’s not to say, I’m advising not to get any tweakments etc. do what you want if it makes you happy, but just learn to love yourself really. It is hard though!

Can’t relate to this at all, I love getting older. Much more comfortable with myself now than I ever was at 30 and I couldn’t give a tinkers cuss about nasiolabal folds (whatever they are).

how did you come to terms with getting older

I was suicidally depressed in my 30s & didn’t really expect to see 40. Getting older now is a huge bonus.

I find aging in as much as aching joints and failing health is crap, but i love not giving a shit if people find me attractive.

My perspective is that my mum died at 47.