how did you come to terms with getting older?

[lemongrab33]

I can't cope with nasolabial folds/marionette lines so I've just had filler and happy with the result. I don't mind small crows' feet etc. but the nasolabial folds really got to me.
I feel ridiculous as I'm only in my 30s, my ageing is only just getting started.
I am planning to continue procedures as time goes on, I am just not sure how I'll find ageing, I know it's such a gradual process but still.
Is there anyone here that feels depressed about their looks and mourns their younger looks?
I hate the ageism towards women and the idea that men are more attracted to youth. Men don't face anywhere near the amount of pressure women do and I feel stupid for buying into it.

Like another pp - i think about family members or friends who didn't get to live as long a life as I am living now.

I'm just glad to be here!

Just wait til you're in your 50s.....

More usefully, if you look after yourself i.e. eat properly, don't smoke, or drink too much, watch your weight it'll help.

After that being comfortable and confident in yourself goes a long way. Confidence and intelligence are attractive regardless of age.

I had no idea what nasolabial folds were until this very moment and after googling, I honestly just think those ‘folds’ are a totally usual part of a person’s face? I can’t wrap my head around anyone being bothered by those at all…

I’m 30 so I’m just starting to notice the odd fine line here and there but I’m honestly not in the least part bothered. I’d much rather age with grace and dignity than stuff my face full of plastic.

The same @Thehonestybox . Having lost two family members recently I know that growing old is a privilege denied to many. Every day is a gift, the ( inevitable and natural) process of gaining wrinkles is a gift.

I would agree that women are the worst enemies of other women. The constant focus on appearance and youth, the complete neglect of the very idea that people are more than their outward appearance. I also feel that internalised misogyny is driving the above and the beauty industry overall.

So overall coping with the ageing process for me is about looking at the bigger picture and accepting it.

Do yourself a favour and disengage as much as possible with how you look now. It will only get harder as you get older. Focus on being healthy and using your body (exercise, activities you enjoy etc.). Your body is incredible snd not because of how it looks but because of what it can do and what it enables you to do. Hike up a mountain, go for a swim, start running (if you don’t already), the possibilities are endless. You are destined to be miserable if you jet yourself get upset about how you look as you get older. Invest in your future MH and put the work in now to adjust your mindset. Good luck

OP the most beautiful woman I have ever seen was a Plymouth Brethren woman who was sitting opposite me in a doctor's waiting room. She had long straight grey hair and wore a headscarf. She was looking at a baby on a woman's lap near her.
The expression on her face - the gentleness, the love - shone out of her face. I couldn't stop looking at her. That was at least two decades ago and I still remember her.
That is true beauty, and she was old.
I would like to be like her.

Wait till you are in your late seventies and the end game is in sight. Frankly I appreciate I have got to this age when I know many people including within my family who never made it this far.

I do not care about the wrinkles, the dodgy knee and the painfull hip. I still get up in the morning and live each day as it comes.

I do get a little annoyed by the ageism that is addressed to older women especially by younger women who refer to us as 'old crones/hags'. They think we have no idea about anything and are actually considered a waste of space.

I'm in my early 40s and whilst I like to look nice, I'm not having procedures.

The older I get the more empowered I feel about not doing things for men.

I dont care if they think I'm ugly, i dont care if they want to leave me. I'm happy on my own and in my own skin.

Not all men are pigs but the ones that are, I'm happy for them to sort themselves out of my dating pool. If a man wants to like other instagram girls? Bye bye. A man wants a skivvy? Bye bye. A man wants to wheedle me about my friends because he is insecure? Bye bye.

Aging is wonderful for growing into your own skin.

Im only 41 so still fairly new to visible aging but I think I look if anything a bit better than before. I had a bit of non-frequent Botox 35-40 but the last time I did it looked weird and now I prefer the lines.

I think as I've gotten older I've found beauty in things like how lovely my (female) friends faces look when they light up with a smile. They are a beautiful version of themselves, not an idealised version of modern beauty.

I'm 46 and my body can still do what I want it to do.

The end.

I'm not dealing with it well either OP. I'm 32 and over the past year have had forehead botox, cheek filler, lip filler, tear trough filler and monthly skin boosters. I only had very small amounts of filler so the results are subtle but I know it's going to become less subtle as I age. I'm absolutely dreading it. I was bullied for being ugly at school and when I finally grew into my looks and started getting lots of male attention I became reliant on it. I have bulimia too which doesn't help.

I've given up alcohol and totally overhauled my diet purely because of my vanity. The positive effect on my health was just a bonus, it wasn't the reason. I wish I didn't care so much about my looks.

OP - think of older women you know and love - your mum, aunts, grandmothers etc. Don't you see beauty in their faces? Don't you think they look lovely when they smile? I bet when your mum smiles you just see your mum, not marionette lines or nasolabial folds or whatever they're called! Can you imagine how weird the older women in your life would look if they were pumped full of botox, fillers, had face lifts etc. If they were trying to erase all signs of age and look like 20 year olds?!

I try to keep fit and eat healthily and walk tall and be happy.
People who've had fillers etc don't look you get they just look like they've had work done.
I don't care too much about my appearance but I do feel a bit sad about all the things I didn't do when young and some of the choices I made

I have no idea what a nasolabial whatever is and cope fine with getting older. Nearing 50, no plans for any kind of intervention, they don't make you look younger they just make you look like you've had work done!

Physical health is the thing to be concerned about and keeping yourself as healthy as you can for as long as you can.

I'm grateful every day to be getting older, people younger than me have not had that opportunity. Remember you will never again look as young as you do today, it's a fact if life for every human... does it really matter? And if it does to you, why? You need to find a way to accept it.

I'm 66, slim fit and attractive in a hale and hearty weather-tanned kind of way. Have short crisp white hair, never wear makeup, never think about my looks as too busy enjoying each day

I'd rather be old than dead.

I got a fringe because I hated my forehead wrinkles. But I hate trying to maintain my fringe more. So now I might grow out the fringe and tell myself, sod it.

I'm not even menopausal yet but I'm very overweight and this shows in my face.

The best thing I can do is lose the weight and some stress, but easier said than done, isn't it?

I was just about to get filler in the exact same places as you have and then I watched a few YouTube videos on it and have decided against it. I really, really encourage you to as well.

Thete are stunning celebrity women who have ruined their faces with fillers etc and they have access to the best practitioners in the world. I’m not anti filler. I’m anti filler to prevent aging. You can’t prevent aging. You won’t look younger. You’ll look in your 30s but with filler.

I recommend all of his videos and check out Stephanie Lange on YouTube for some more inspirational stuff. She shows you celebs who have similar facial structure you and it helps you appreciate all different types and ages of beauty.

To be fair, the beauty industry can't be seen as a "con" if some women engage with it and others don't. This means that for any given age, there will be some women who look 10yrs younger and some 10yrs older. They will invariably be compared and may also receive different treatment when out and about. It's the same as telling people they are fine at any weight but a huge number of people would probably prefer to be skinnier than fatter.

There's a lot of reverse snobbery in these replies, with thinly veiled suggestions that people who care a lot about aging are vain, selfish and ungrateful to be alive. OP, to answer your question, rather than go straight for the anti aging treatments, I decided to get things fixed up that I didn't have time (and money) for in my youth. Eg achieving perfect teeth at 40 (braces, bleaching, everything filled and fixed) or getting my eyes lasered. Those make me feel different but somehow better in my own body without the baggage of "fighting a losing battle". They are also reminders of how far I've come in life in being able to afford treatments which weren't possible decades ago.

I do invest in a basic skincare routine but don't really have the time or executive function to stick to it every day.

It is hard as you age and I think harder if you were very attractive when young. Didn't really bother me till I hit 50 which is when my face really changed.

Whatever surgery you have your age will eventually catch up with you. It's a bitter pill to swallow but I know I should be grateful for being healthy and other fortunate things in my life.

Embraced it! No point in having lifts/botox etc, unless you also do hands and neck as these give you away.
Hair went quite grey during lockdown, so have gone whole hog
Loving my over 60 pass too
It will happen...
😃

@honeyfox Yes, I was going to say something similar. My brother died in his 30s and it changed my perspective to aging. I’m sorry for your loss.

If you’re not getting older then you are dead. That’s it really.

I voted that YABU. Not because you shouldn't get filler/botox/whatever procedure you please, but because you have this kind of complaining attitude about it. It's as if you are waiting for someone to give you permission to 'look your age' (whatever that means) and you feel that you haven't been granted that permission, so you get the fillers but then moan about how it's all the patriarchy. That is no way to go through life. I am a vain person (as my username suggests!) and I would consider fillers in later life, but I am now forty and I don't feel the need for cosmetic procedures outside of good skincare/selfcare. Keeping a healthy weight, being well hydrated, and proper suncare do more than fillers anyway. Look at the Kardashians-they all have had every procedure under the sun and they all look their age and then some. Own your choice, or make another one.