how did you come to terms with getting older?

[lemongrab33]

I can't cope with nasolabial folds/marionette lines so I've just had filler and happy with the result. I don't mind small crows' feet etc. but the nasolabial folds really got to me.
I feel ridiculous as I'm only in my 30s, my ageing is only just getting started.
I am planning to continue procedures as time goes on, I am just not sure how I'll find ageing, I know it's such a gradual process but still.
Is there anyone here that feels depressed about their looks and mourns their younger looks?
I hate the ageism towards women and the idea that men are more attracted to youth. Men don't face anywhere near the amount of pressure women do and I feel stupid for buying into it.

Exactly this. I've lost a fair few friends before they even got to 45. I'm privileged to still be here.
My face is my face, and I really don't care what other people think of it.

I was in my mid-30’s when my DM, strict RC not prone to condoning vanity, told me that a recent photo (a spontaneous one, taken without makeup or pose) was really lovely, because I looked “comfortable in my own skin”.
Having never previously commented on how I looked (apart from my wedding day), I was struck by how honest she had been, as I was very under-confident growing up, and this was her way of saying that I hadn’t really needed to have worried about it.
I think she was right - your inner beauty has a way of appearing when you stop trying!

I am ugly. At best very plain. Nobody looks at me so I don't bother.

Hey OP, I'm turning 42 next week and understand the pressure but would encourage you to think twice about treatments. They eventually make you look really odd, even the expensive ones. Look at the recent pics of the cast of Friends re-published when Matthew Perry died. I don't think any of them look young, just shiny and stiff and startled. And they have the ££ for the best. I don't really use social media and have developed a badass career and some hobbies and interests that I love in recent years. I have an OK diet and exercise a bit so am in good shape, and honestly like myself more now than in my 20s and 30s when, in hindsight, I was quite beautiful but fucking batshit with anxiety and self doubt. So - try and appreciate your whole self and see if that makes any difference.

Just don't give any fucks. Be happy in who you are, you are so young, you can't possibly have any age related imperfections. I am 57. I wear no make up, have white hair, and have never done much in the way of skin care. Certainly nothing aesthetic. I have scars and stretch marks and sun damaged skin. I have a slack neck, but my face is pretty smooth I still wear bikinis, and brazen it out on the beach.

I am in my sixties. Why try to pretend to be younger than you are?. Embrace ageing and just go with it. You don't need to look like a child/young woman for ever.
I think the most attractive older women are the ones who look natural, not the ones with fillers etc it is always obvious and always looks wrong

What's she said 👆🏻

Don't worry about getting older as you may never get the chance - try focus on enjoying your days and making them fulfilling rather than filled with vanity.

If facial lines are all you have to worry about you are doing way better than 90% of people.

and I have "reset" ageing in my mind..which takes practice!

What is this @Beebopwasthebest ?

I’m 43, people are surprised when they find out my age, they think I’m a decade or more younger. Does that make me any happier? No, as I have shit mental health. I’d rather swop the two! Just because you look younger doesn’t mean you’ll be any happier.

Like others on here, I’ve lost people before they reached their 40’s, so again it IS a privilege. I get to see my sons become the amazing young men they are, going into careers they want and finding love. Friends never got to see their children grow up. That’s heartbreaking. It really puts things into perspective.

The most gorgeous older women are the ones who embrace it - I see it again and again - allowing their hair to grey, not worrying about wrinkles, but staying active and vibrant, continuing to live their lives in the way they always have. Dyed hair always looks dyed, botox and fillers are always noticeable - it doesn't look better - far more youthful to use your time and money to embrace your remaining years and focus more on keeping the bits you can't see as young as possible (meaning strength, balance, energy, brain health...).

well you literally have no choice so you might as well accept it.

saying that, I take steps to make sure I FEEL (rather than look) as good as I can. Eat very well (minimally processed), drinks lots of water, get lots of sleep, daily (hard!) yoga so I'm stronger and more flexible at 44 than I was at 24 by some margin. I'm also the same dress size. I get outside everyday. I read a lot.

there are some beauty things that make me feel great so I get highlights / balayage every 10-12 weeks, brows shaped twice a year. I have a good skincare routine that I enjoy doing. Regular pedis, semi regular manis. Some light botox. I wear clothes I love.

All my choices are to make ME feel good, I couldn't give a flying one what others think.

Focus on health and wellbeing and that will show imo.

I’m more worried about my health now than my looks.
Wouldn’t have thought much about either in my 30s…

How do I cope with it? I just really don't give it much thought!
I'm about to turn 49, 50 next year. I think I look quite good for 48 but at the same time have lines around my eyes, lines in other places, two deep lines going vertically from my eyebrow to hairline. The most aging feature is my saggy neck!
I have no idea what any of these things are called and I don't care. When I look in the mirror I just hope I look nice and presentable. I don't spend ages examining each line and feeling bad about it.
My friends are the same age as me so we all have lines. I don't even really notice theirs. It's natural. It's not natural to look like you're 20 forever. You look better if you look your age, rather than desperately trying to hide it (doesn't fool many people).
I had cancer in my 30s so I'm very grateful to be here now, getting older and wrinkly.

Stop looking in the mirror!

im joking but honestly it’s just a change in mindset from thinking “Christ I’m looking old” to being grateful for what you’ve got. I also think hair, makeup and clothes means you can look a lot younger than you are.

i have never gone down the filler route but I get baby Botox twice a year just to slow the wrinkles rather than stop it. At some point I will stop that but I do think keeping fit, eating well, getting plenty of sleep and investing in clothes, hair and makeup do wonders to keep you feeling young even if you don’t necessarily look young!

Honestly, I don't give a fuck and I don't see it as something to come to terms with because it's just nature taking it's course .

Agree. My sister died of an illness in her 30s, I am grateful to be here and healthy.

I’ve unfortunately lost four friends well ahead of their time, so that kicked me into perspective sharp and I’m actually pretty grateful for that. Otherwise yes it’s brutal if you let it get to you. If your body is still working as it should the rest doesn’t matter.

I am 51. I do not care how others feel about my looks or how I am ageing. I do not mind having a few grey hairs and the odd crease here or there. I wash my face with warm water and a flannel and moisturise well. My face and body reflect the life I have lived, the good, the bad, happy, sad etc. i am at peace with myself. The images you aspire to on media and tv are not a true reflection of how those people look and unless you have a whole team of talented stylists, nutritionists, make up artists, plastic surgeons and most of all talented photographers and editors it is unattainable to the average person. Don’t waste time and money pumping yourself full of chemicals - many which are harmful and wanting to look different. Instead focus on tour self esteem and living a good and happy life. Your life will be over before you know it so use your time wisely and live yourself and those around you as you and they are.

For me it’s not that I care about the lines on my face, it’s what they represent. It’s quite weird to think that I am getting older and facing the fact that one day I will die. And sometimes it’s hard to think about that.

I’ve always told myself it’s better than the alternative.

Only in your 30s, though, OP - FFS, how are you going to cope at 50 or more?
It’s always good to try to look nice, but not very admirable to be obsessed with your looks to that extent.

Just turned 40, and as cheesy as it is gratitude. I know people who are my age who aren't with us, or who have had life changing diagnoses and I can't look at my lot and resent it. My face is my face, I've had some botox in the past but I didn't think it really made that much difference for the money and when top up time came decided I'd rather have a long weekend abroad with my best mate! Maybe the metrics of that decision will change some time in the future but for now, can't be arsed with it, more important things going on. Better to spend money on health and fitness, beauty comes from that and working on creating hope and happiness where you can.

Wow didn't expect all these replies, thanks a lot .

I am 48. I get my hair dyed as I like it to be more colourful than its natural grey.

I really don’t care about lines on my face. They’re just things that are there because I’ve got older. I actively like how older women look - their faces are somehow more interesting.

I would rather age gracefully than look like a ridiculous plastic filled fool trying to look like something they are not. Age comes to those that are lucky. Imagine what the likes of Katie P will look like in 20 years time. No thanks.

I’m 40 and if you average out the ages my parents were when they died I have 7 years left. I’m shit scared about that. I’m scared of not having legs that will walk me wherever I want and not having a brain that can do a crossword. Im scared of losing functions and withering away and knowing that I could have done all those things but I left it too late.

I’m not scared of lines on my face.