how did you come to terms with getting older?

[lemongrab33]

I can't cope with nasolabial folds/marionette lines so I've just had filler and happy with the result. I don't mind small crows' feet etc. but the nasolabial folds really got to me.
I feel ridiculous as I'm only in my 30s, my ageing is only just getting started.
I am planning to continue procedures as time goes on, I am just not sure how I'll find ageing, I know it's such a gradual process but still.
Is there anyone here that feels depressed about their looks and mourns their younger looks?
I hate the ageism towards women and the idea that men are more attracted to youth. Men don't face anywhere near the amount of pressure women do and I feel stupid for buying into it.

I do find it difficult, even as someone who never got by on their looks (or could have done!)

But as I've gone through my forties I've seen friends start to have health issues - mostly mild, but also one breast cancer, one lymphoma, one suspected uterine cancer which turned out not to be, joint problems, kidney problems... These things change your focus from looks to staying well, in my experience. I am much more concerned with feeling well than with pleasing anyone else with my appearance now.

You really should just enjoy your youthful looks now, I do struggle a bit when I look in the mirror at 55, I know I’m still attractive and wrinkles don’t bother me at all but the sagging of my jawline and neck does upset me, not going to lie, but I’m not scared of getting older, I am scared of not getting older! when you get to your mid fifties mortality is staring you in the face and really I’m just grateful to be alive and fingers crossed healthy, that’s all that matters really.

I would stop keeping up with the latest beauty information, whether that's magazines, websites, beauty therapists, whatever, for all the reasons other posters have given.

Like most women I like to think I look good. I enjoy clothes and I think I have nice hair (when I bother with it - a lot of the time it's up out of the way). But I don't have tweakments, I only wear mascara (maybe eyeshadow and lipstick on a night out), I don't even moisturise these days (and actually found after a couple of weeks my skin was better as a result). I was brought up with a distinctly above average sister so from an early age my 'thing' was education not looks. I learned to value what I did, not what I looked like. It's helped enormously.

I'm distinctly average in terms of looks. I'm fit so have a good figure which helps and I'm generally symmetrical facially, which also helps, but I'm not a head turner. If you looked at photo of me you would probably peg me at my actual age or older (I have strong frown lines and the beginnings of jowls). However, people consistently think I'm younger until they really look at me. (Weirdly I have the same thing with height - people tell me I'm a good 4 inches taller than I am until they stand next to me). I've realised it's because a general happiness and confidence really influence people's perception of you. That's the things to work on. I can live with looking shit in photographs.

This. Plus investing in friendships.

As you get older your face and body change but keeping active and interesting and kind is so much more attractive.

Botox. I just had my second treatment. I'm 44. That and a slight tan are the only things which visibly improve my appearance to my standard. Nothing is for anyone else benefit just me!

I really couldn't give a fuck about the plastic comments. I would never suggest to another human what decisions they should make about their own body.

Secondly though reversing my nice clothes for the weekend and rough clothes for work. I don't go out out now and I don't want to. I've recently put a lot more effort into my work wardrobe on the principle that's where I am the majority of the time. Always having something appropriate, but chic to wear to work has made me feel great 😄

I went through a stage really worrying about this in my early thirties - I think there's this kind of pressure that if you don't do something now, you will rapidly go downhill (not true). It was just a phase though, and I'm now 46 and think I look pretty awesome. This could just mean I have shifted into a phase of denial, but fuck it.

Nado labial folds are normal in anyone over the age of 12. My smokers lines however can do one!

I'm not going to jump on the whole 'ageing is a privilege' or 'haven't you got better things to worry about'. It's very judge-y. I get my marionette lines done every 8 or 9 months and feel so much better for it. I don't spend all my time looking in a mirror nor do I post selfies everywhere. I'm getting older but I'm sure as hell not going to do it looking as miserable as my mum did all the time because of genetics!

Old in your 30’s????
behave! 😂

My perspective is that when I was in my 20s, I thought I looked look shit. In hindsight, I looked fine. In ten years, I'm going to look at pictures of me now (age 40) and think I looked fine. And that probably be the same for the rest of my life.

It sucks but it will only get worse until eventually you die.

Nothing is forever you just have to make the most of what you have, while you have it.

I'm nearly 50 and had to Google what those lines are. It sounds like you probably have poor genes if you have those in your 30s.

I've never really thought about having to come to terms with getting older. I see it as a privilege not everyone has.

It happens to everyone. Make the decision to do it gracefully, and have fun doing it because there's more to life than how you look. Time is not guaranteed, do important things (to you) while you can, how you look for them doesn't matter.

As an aside, I know a lady in her 40s who started having fillers, surgery etc in her 30s. She got addicted. She's still doing it. She doesn't look real anymore. And despite having zero lines/wrinkles, she looks much older than she actually is.

The alternative is being dead.

I'd rather look old than die young.

Yep this. Literally wtf is a marionette line.

It's always been quite obvious to me that as I become older I will look older. It's not exactly a surprise. I've had my whole life to come to terms with this. One day I will have grey hair and wrinkles and that's OK too. It's also obvious that no matter what I do to my face or body, I'm not going to look as naturally youthful as actual young people - and I don't want to compete with them anyway!

The aspects of getting older that I actively work on are to do with fitness. I want to be mobile and independent for as long as possible and I don't want any injuries or health issues that I can avoid. More exercise, more stretching, listening to my body more. It's much more important to me to maintain a fit and healthy body (and mind) than a youthful face.

I'm starting to get marionette lines, and they annoy me. OP, I understand! I wouldn't mind crows feet. Otherwise, I do my best with (basic) skincare, hydration and eating well. And fresh air.

And how to cope? Well, I remind myself that I'm swapping my youthful looks for more grace, wisdom and confidence. I'm becoming a better person (gradually). I'm earning more money, which opens up more life experiences to me (I'm not rich, just finally able to do things like decorate and get a dog). I'm becoming a better friend and daughter/niece. I'm discovering new interests.

My looks are going downhill, but everything else in my life is improving.

I’m in my 30s and noticing lines and wrinkles etc but I just tell myself I’m glad to be alive and kicking. I had chemo 5 years ago and that was the kick I needed to be grateful to be here still.

Do you have another thread about this?

I don't know what half the things are that you have mentioned so for starters stop looking at media that makes you feel like crap.
Ageing is inevitable so there is no point in worrying about it, it's a complete waste of time and energy.

The best looking people on the planet have a bit of kindness, wisdom and character in their face.

I have just turned 60. I have never had any of the stuff done that people talk about here. I have stopped dying my hair. I know my days are numbered now. It is sort of empowering. I know what matters and what doesn't.

I wouldn't mind a tighter jaw line, but hey ho!

I've been in my current job for around 20 years and have just got a new boss who's 25 years younger than me. I've never had a boss who's younger than me! It did initially hit me that when she looks at me she just sees an old woman - an old woman, it appears, with marionette lines, nasolabial folds, and on top of this pre-jowl sulcus. They're not going anywhere though. I'm keeping them, along with my life experience and knowledge, which feed into my growing self-confidence as I've aged.

All you need to do, OP, is smile. Anyone who smiles looks gorgeous.

Well, men are 'more attracted to youth', it's how they are biologically programmed, but you don't have to base your sense of identity and worth on attracting men.

I certainly wasn’t worrying about aging 40 years ago when I was your age

All you need to do, OP, is smile. Anyone who smiles looks gorgeous.

Love this! I do try to work on not having a resting bitch face 🤣