DS keeps being moved at school

[Cupsoftea2]

Ds has recently gone into year 2 and has had a brand new teacher. He previously had the same teacher from nursery to year 1 and he was doing so well in school. He was getting star pupil every week loved his teacher and he was progressing so well.

New teacher keeps moving him pretty much everyday and the reasons he is giving us seem petty unless he is lying but I have no reason not to believe him. She hasn’t contacted us to tell us he’s been messing around or everything and we see her everyday.

We paid £100 for him to go on a school trip and when we picked him up he looked so sad my heart broke for him. He eventually told us that she told him he was being rude for kicking a paper towel and made him sit at the front of the coach away from his friends.

He went into school this morning and she said hi “DS” and he just walked past her. We also seen her on bonfire night and he didn’t even want to say hi then either. I have never seen him like this before ever.

Something in my gut isn’t sitting right! Surely if he was misbehaving so badly we would have some kind of contact? He is a good kid never had any issues with him ever.

Are you sure he is being moved due to misbehaviour, or could it be that the teacher is moving him to sit with a disruptive child, hoping that he will be a good influence?

This is not good practice, but you need to ask why he is being moved. How many times does it happen?

Not what you are asking, but if I was with my child and he rudely ignored and WALKED PAST an adult saying 'Hi' specifically to him, never mind if it is a teacher or not, I think you are being extremely unreasonable accepting his unacceptably rude behaviour.
Did you haul him back and say, "When an adult speaks to you, you respond politely - it's very rude to walk off" ?
If not, you are condoning this rudeness from a 6-7 year old boy. This is a slippery slope, OP.

He didn’t reply to her and she said “oh ok good morning mrs (teacher) because he didn’t respond.

I don’t want to force him if he doesn’t feel like it though as that’s what I have previously been making him do and he obviously feels a certain way.

I don’t want to force him if he doesn’t feel like it though as that’s what I have previously been making him do and he obviously feels a certain way

But you are the parent, it is your role to train him for the world. Simply walking past and ignoring your boss, or neighbour, or doctor, or shopworker because you "feel a certain way" about them is not okay and will make his life difficult.
It's a life skill to smile and say 'morning' at a work colleague you don't get on with, isn't it? Teach him to be sociable in the world. He'll need this skill hugely in Y7 aged 11 when he begins big school, kids are very unforgiving.
In the nicest way, he needs to suck it up. She is the adult in a role he must respect, whether he likes it or not. He is 6.

Ofcourse the teacher needs to enforce some rules. Why do you expect that he will be disruptive in the bus and the teacher will just leave him to sit with his friends?
He needs to know that actions have consequences and you’re not doing him any favours by expecting everyone to pander to him. Maybe it’s time you be the parent. Tell him not to do whatever he has done to warrant the discipline anymore (no matter how trivial you think it is)

It is possible there’s a misunderstanding here but it isn’t unheard of for teachers to ‘take against’ a child either so I do think that should be borne in mind.

@PennyFleck , some children are more likely to dig their heels in and refuse if you really push something. I’d probably speak to him later about it being good manners to acknowledge somebody even if you don’t like them but doing it in public can just lead to flat out refusal and a sour note.

There you have it - too much choice.
He will have plenty of time in life where he has to be polite whether he likes it or not. He will soon find himself in deep water if he is rude to a boss he doesn’t see eye to eye with. You suck it up - teacher is in charge.

The teacher likely hasn't contacted you because low level misbehaviour from 6 year old boys isn't worth a phone call. She is probably moving him because he is a bit disruptive. Those "petty" things can be a massive pain in a classroom. If he doesn't like being moved he needs to stop doing whatever it is he is doing.

I'd call the teacher and have a chat. Essentially you want to be on the same page on this and back the teacher up. If he is getting mixed messages that will prolong the issue.

Perhaps you should ask to meet the teacher and find out what’s going on from her perspective.

Your perception of kicking a paper towel around on a bus as being a minor issue is slightly at odds either the very real risk of distracting the driver and causing an accident. The fact that you feel that moving him away from his friends in this circumstance was unreasonable and unfair suggests that your perception of the results of classroom behaviour may be at odds with the experienced reality of the other people in the classroom as well. It may be that the more mature environment in Year 2 is a shock to your child, particularly coming from a situation where reception expectations carried through into year 1, but that doesn’t mean that your child is being treated unfairly. If you speak to the teacher, you should bear this in mind.

I think you just need to ask the teacher what is going on.

It might be that after being a 'star' in year 1 he's now playing on his reputation. Or maybe he's become the class comedian or acts up.
It is normal to move children around in the class but 'every day' is a bit much.

On the face of it kicking a paper towel isn't that much of a big deal for a group of 7 year olds. I suspect that there may be more to it than that.
And for all these people saying you should force him to talk to his teacher as he goes into school. To make that exchange a big event at the time would blow things out of proportion. It's a conversation to have outside school. If her response was as you've written it she does sound a bit sarcastic!.

I’m going to ring the school but I haven’t been in this situation before. He has completely changed in himself he’s gone from loving to school to being anxious and coming home and chatting to his dad about it.

I don’t want to force him if he doesn’t feel like it though as that’s what I have previously been making him do and he obviously feels a certain way.

This explains it. I can't believe you allowed this behaviour on two separate occasions. At his age, I don't blame your child for his rudeness. I blame you for not parenting. Do better.

I would of moved him too, kicking things around while a bus is moving is dangerous it can distract the driver or the driver could crash and he could get seriously hurt while not sat down!
He does sound rude not even saying good morning to her so YABU, I think the problem is your son here not the teacher.

Sometimes we need to take our rose tinted glasses off and see the bigger picture.

I forced him on bonfire night I didn’t bother today as he was already going in the door and to be honest it doesn’t sit right with me forcing him.

Maybe. But then again if an adult were being a bully or abusive you wouldn't surely tell your child to 'be nice'. That's how kids, esp girls end up abused. Invalidating their experience and demanding that they are nice to the perpetrators is very very unhealthy

IME expectations around behaviour increase as children move up school years, and what you can get away with in reception and Y1 won't be permissible in year 2. It may be that there are now more rules and he is finding it hard adjusting. Teacher will be able to explain.

Ive found that being star of the week is most often given to disruptive kids to try and curb their behaviour. Now he us year 2 the teacher more than likely thinks he needs to own his behaviour and learn from it rather than being given a star.

Could it be that he was 'teachers pet' the last 2 years and now he's not he's playing up. Ignoring someone is rude and you need to pull him up on it, if theirs a bigger issue it needs to be dealt with. Year 2 should know that kicking things around isn't acceptable, did he get a warning before being made to sit at the front. I can't see that she's doing anything wrong at the moment xx

Mine wont say hello to people. Shes on asd pathway.
but it sounds like yours may just be annoyed with the teacher.

som e teachers do move kids a lot. My y3 has moved at least 4 times already. And she s not happy now as by the door which is left open and she feels the cold

Ok so you didn't force him but surely you spoke to him afterwards?

and to be honest it doesn’t sit right with me forcing him

Think about a different word - insist?
You insist he goes to the dentist twice a year and opens his mouth / eats a variety of fruit and veg / switches off his tech when you ask / says please and thank you when he asks / receives something?
This is similar, a manners thing that will help him to have a happy and successful childhood and adulthood. It's your 'job' to insist on many things, you can slacken off when he's an adult but you can really help him now. If the adult / scout leader / sports coach says his behaviour had a consequence at that session, then it did, they get to decide this.

I don't think you should force your child to be polite if previously they were and it is only directed at one person. I think you're right in asking yourself, if a previously polite and happy child is now stressed and anxious, why is that? Keep asking those questions OP, you'll never regret trying to understand your child before you go ahead and force or punish them. I think those that do & are reprimanding you here for trying to understand will regret this in later life when their children reflect on their childhoods.
There are such things as bad teachers, bad adults, bad colleagues etc.

Understanding absolutely, that’s why I suggested talking to the teacher about whether he is struggling with the maturity expected in Y2, but moving a child is not anything other than enabling other children to learn by cutting down the chatting etc that is stopping them. Not a punishment.

Your child should be sat down on a bus - not being disruptive kicking things around . Sounds like he needs some discipline and you’re not prepared to give it so the teacher has to !
Dread to think what your kid will be like as an entitled teenager if you don’t get a grip on parenting !