DS keeps being moved at school

[Cupsoftea2]

Ds has recently gone into year 2 and has had a brand new teacher. He previously had the same teacher from nursery to year 1 and he was doing so well in school. He was getting star pupil every week loved his teacher and he was progressing so well.

New teacher keeps moving him pretty much everyday and the reasons he is giving us seem petty unless he is lying but I have no reason not to believe him. She hasn’t contacted us to tell us he’s been messing around or everything and we see her everyday.

We paid £100 for him to go on a school trip and when we picked him up he looked so sad my heart broke for him. He eventually told us that she told him he was being rude for kicking a paper towel and made him sit at the front of the coach away from his friends.

He went into school this morning and she said hi “DS” and he just walked past her. We also seen her on bonfire night and he didn’t even want to say hi then either. I have never seen him like this before ever.

Something in my gut isn’t sitting right! Surely if he was misbehaving so badly we would have some kind of contact? He is a good kid never had any issues with him ever.

You need to speak to the teacher and then work with her to try and calm your child's behaviour. Because if you don't your child will turn into a year 11 who constantly disrupts the class and at that age the other teens will not take that disruption lightly. That's happening in my child's class right now and it's always the kids who did low level disruption in primary school.

The OP has explained how sad and upset her DS is and him not responding to the teacher was a symptom of that. I fail to see how 'hauling' him back and speaking to him harshly would help. The OP rightly wants to get to the bottom of the issue and solve the cause.

I bloody well hope she didn’t, what kind of message is that setting?!

That an adult outranks him because what, they’re older?
Doesn’t work that way, perhaps you need to grow up and join us in the real world. Respect is earned, relationships are built and he does not owe anyone anything by default.

This fucking website, I swear…

OP I could have written your post many years ago. It turned out the teacher was in fact low level bullying my DD to the point her personality changed and she became very withdrawn. It happened over the school year and it took us all that time to realise that all the minor things DD was coming home and telling us about were building up in her head as her just not being good enough. I pulled her out of the school after witnessing the teacher bully DD in front of other staff including the HT and he denied it happened.

I'm not saying this is happening with your DS but when a teacher takes a dislike to a student then they will punish something minor (like kicking a paper towel) which for any other student would just be a "please don't do that again". Your DS does not sound rude or like a spoilt brat. He sounds like a 6 year old who's struggling to deal with being punished for things that aren't really that big of a deal.

Good luck speaking to the teacher

This absolutely. Telling DC that they should ignore their feelings and always be polite to adults is a breeding ground for a child being vulnerable to abuse.

Teacher probably is disappointed you don't discipline your son when he is being rude to her on front of you.
Important life lesson here . Things don't always go your way even at 6. And again, only his mother thinks he is special.

Maybe your dc is withdrawn because he is finally getting called out on his obnoxious behaviour and doesn't like it.

Ignoring a teacher and you condoning it, can see where the issue arises.

I'm sorry but what your child tells you (at 6 years old) is not necessarily going to be what actually happened.
Not many kids are going to say "my teacher keeps moving me because I'm really disrespectful and disruptive and I'm really naughty and I keep causing my friends to laugh at me".
Most kids will tell you the bare minimum; either because they know they are in trouble, they don't see it as causing trouble or because they don't remember it as it happened.

I think the whole idea of “more mature” expectations in year 2 is ridiculous! They’re 6/7 years old; in some countries they wouldn’t even be in school yet.
I’m a firm believer that all behaviour is communication, and your little boy is clearly communicating that he is unhappy in school. I think speaking to the teacher, in a neutral manner, and focusing on the changes in his demeanour, is a good place to start.

But that's incredibly rude of him, he needs to be polite to his teacher even if he doesn't like her. We all have to bite our tongues and be polite to people we either don't like or don't get on with. He's old enough to understand.

It's almost impossibly unlikely that the teacher has taken against your son for no reason. Teachers don't have the time for vendettas, they just want all the kids to get on with their work and not disrupt the classroom. If he's been messing around and got a reputation which means she's now hot on his behaviour, that's his own fault and you need to support her.

Doesn't need to be 'hauled back' but I would simply say "Mrs Xxx just said good morning.." and wait for him to respond to her.

But it probably wasn’t classed as bad behaviour when he was younger. No one would be surprised if a nursery child didn’t want to sit for circle time, or if a reception child didn’t have a particularly long attention span but this is expected to improve as they get older. Hopefully you can have a productive conversation with the teacher and get on the same page about how to help him.

Also, another thought OP, is your son a particularly popular child?

I ask because my teen daughter is and she is always getting pulled up for low level behaviour that her peers tend to get away with.
We have spoken to the school about this and they have said that when the popular kids start chatting or messing around in class they need to nip it in the bud pretty quickly and dish out sanctions otherwise the risk of further class wide disruption is much greater than if other kids do it which I do understand.

He was getting star pupil every week? That doesn't seem right or fair

In your other thread you admit he’s poorly behaved and winds up his sister etc so can you not see how this silly behaviour in a class of 30 kids could be a big issue for the teacher? Teachers have to manage the class, they have to apply behaviour techniques otherwise they can’t teach.

It’s no wonder teachers are leaving the profession.

You're allowing his rude behaviour, ignoring when he does it in front of you and defending it on here. I think we all know the parent you are. His poor teachers.

Wasn’t just him though they gave it to quite a few kids. My point is he’s never had one since he’s had his new teacher. So either his previous teacher was giving them out just to give them out I don’t know. But I have seen his friends taking them home with new teacher. It’s not a huge issue it’s just one of the things in my head.

Any other examples?

There are a few aspects here. Firstly, OP needs to talk to the teacher in the first respect and make sure she has the whole story.
But it can happen that teachers take a dislike to one child or a group of them, and when it's that young, the child will struggle to know how to deal with it. Some may become more withdrawn but others may start acting up and being the 'naughty' child that they're expected to be. You can't expect an adult response from a 6 year old.
DS had this in Y2. He went from loving school in R/Y1 and to hating it. He'd never had problems but suddenly we were constantly being called in for his behaviour. At first, we were very keen to work with the school to get to the bottom of it and were implementing everything she suggested.
DS was terribly distressed by it. Was constantly in tears about not wanting to be 'bad'.
But then we had a meeting with this teacher and the head, and she said a few things about DS that were just bizarre things to say about any 6yo, and it suddenly became clear where the problems were coming from. I remember the head looking very uncomfortable too.
xH was still trying to be conciliatory at that point but I was furious.
The teacher left not long after and I suspect she was managed out in some way.
DS suddenly stopped having 'behaviour problems' under the new teacher and hasn't had any problems since, but I still feel guilty because my child was in so much distress and it took me far too long to identify the cause.
Most teachers are lovely, but there are some who can't cope with young children and shouldn't be anywhere near them.

Cold? The only info we have about her is that she said hi to your son, greeting him by his name!

It's only part way through November, there hasn't been time for every child to be star of the week, you can't complain about that

Primary school children aren't the best at fully explaining the facts, the teacher may well be treating him unfairly but you need to here her said before making any conclusions

No. It gives the message that if someone greets you, you return the greeting - especially if it’s someone you work with. Why does being polite mean you only speak to those who ‘outrank’ you? In which case why did the teacher speak to him?
Respect sometimes comes with position. The teacher has earned that by working hard for her qualifications and then getting a job. It’s not always personal - or would you not be polite to your boss if you didn’t respect them on a personal level?

The only ‘punishment’ the OP mentions is being moved. That’s not. Punishment. It’s about safety and giving everyone (including OP’s son) the opportunity to work and learn properly. You know, the thing they go to school to do.

There’s a big difference between ‘always be polite’ and basic manners in greeting someone. I’m a bit concerned you don’t seem to know what it is.