DS keeps being moved at school

[Cupsoftea2]

Ds has recently gone into year 2 and has had a brand new teacher. He previously had the same teacher from nursery to year 1 and he was doing so well in school. He was getting star pupil every week loved his teacher and he was progressing so well.

New teacher keeps moving him pretty much everyday and the reasons he is giving us seem petty unless he is lying but I have no reason not to believe him. She hasn’t contacted us to tell us he’s been messing around or everything and we see her everyday.

We paid £100 for him to go on a school trip and when we picked him up he looked so sad my heart broke for him. He eventually told us that she told him he was being rude for kicking a paper towel and made him sit at the front of the coach away from his friends.

He went into school this morning and she said hi “DS” and he just walked past her. We also seen her on bonfire night and he didn’t even want to say hi then either. I have never seen him like this before ever.

Something in my gut isn’t sitting right! Surely if he was misbehaving so badly we would have some kind of contact? He is a good kid never had any issues with him ever.

*Mswest · Yesterday 06:37

I've taught for 14 years and I've seen no evidence of that. To think teachers go into work everyday and single out a random 5 year old to be mean to just seems patently ridiculous tbh. it might have happened in the past but it just wouldn't fly now at all. However this way of thinking from parents is why it's becoming increasingly difficult to deal with actual bullies alongside any other poor behaviour. Parents like this this one will think it's their child that has that teacher from the 5% you mention, as that is more palatable than looking critically at their own childs behaviour. It's a shame because it makes schools pretty impotent in dealing with behaviour and that's to the detriment of every other child and their learning. Edited*

How would you know if any of your colleagues are singling out one child and making their life hell. I presume you are in a different classroom to your colleagues

The teacher who was sending ds out of the classroom each day spent at least 5 solid minutes at one point screaming at me after I returned to the classroom because ds had brought out spellings to learn that were for the top set of pupils (Geography, Dictionary Encyclopaedia etc) and ds who struggled with reading and writing got three and four letter words to learn

I was going to say that there had been a mistake and ds had picked up the wrong spellings but didn’t get beyond the word mistake before she flew at me.
She screamed shouted and spit at me not pausing for breath for a good 5 minutes
I tuned her out and stood there inspecting her teeth and watching the spit spring out of her mouth and watching the crowd form out side the classroom window
When she finally ran out of steam/ finished her diatribe the upshot was that ds had to learn those spellings as she hadn’t made a mistake

The children who this teacher singled out hated a certain hair colour.
Friends dd who was one of her victims with the sane hair colour as ds was YB is teachers victim the previous year
Friends dd was the bright sensible girl im the class
This girl ended up being upset every single day and went from loving school to hating it

A teacher screamed in your face for 5 minutes? While a crowd of parents watched from the window? And was treating your child badly because of the colour of their hair? Is this a serious post?

*Mswest · Today 07:42

A teacher screamed in your face for 5 minutes? While a crowd of parents watched from the window? And was treating your child badly because of the colour of their hair? Is this a serious post?*

This was the first interaction I had with her. At this point I didn’t know about her hating ds. I knew she had a reputation of flying off the handle. I wasn’t the only parent she had screamed at

Absolutely deadly serious post

Interesting that as a teacher you can’t accept that there are people in your profession who aren’t nice people

Just because you haven’t witnessed anything (although I don’t see how you could unless you teach alongside them in the same room everyday) doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen

So this was recently, in the UK? She screamed in the face of a parent for 5 mins while a bunch of parents watched through the window? What did you and the other parents do? And how did you find out she didn't like pupils different hair colours?

My DD (8 at the time) was 100% targeted by a teacher so to say it's patently ridiculous to think it happens is, well, patently ridiculous. I still have no idea why my DD was targeted. She was a model student, one of the top students academically and very much a people pleaser back then. But she was belittled constantly. We ended up moving her and the teacher in question was "asked to leave" a year later. I don't know why but I can only assume she'd chosen another child to pick in when we left

Parents like this this one will think it's their child that has that teacher from the 5% you mention, as that is more palatable than looking critically at their own childs behaviour. It's a shame because it makes schools pretty impotent in dealing with behaviour and that's to the detriment of every other child and their learning. Edited

As a parent I disagree.

Schools shy away from disciplining the kids of parents who think they do no wrong. Instead they blame the kid whose parent will be supportive. It makes their lives easier.

DD2 was once told when complaining the child of a nightmare parent had scratched her (and there were marks) that she must have done it to herself. Dd1 had also witnessed it 🤷🏻‍♀️. A lot of school staff are scared of these parents and other families and children suffer.

You disagree with what? Parents not ever accepting that their kids might be at fault makes it impossible for schools to enforce discipline, what is it you disagree with about that?

I suggest you read what I’m saying.

Kids of parents who are supportive are more likely to be blamed for things than those of difficult parents. I have experienced this.

I am struggling what is hard to understand about that.

It really doesn’t help anyone with discipline at all.

In my experience working in numerous schools that has never been the case. Each school I have worked in has had a very detailed behaviour policy which is followed for the vast majority of children, regardless of how supportive or unsupportive their parents are. Those who a general behaviour policy does not work for will have an individual behaviour plan that is bespoke to their needs and that is followed.

Schools also have strict recording systems for behaviour incidents that is usually triggered after a certain level - eg 2 warnings or moved within the classroom would not need to be logged as it is a behaviour management strategy, whereas a child continuing negative behaviours to the point of being asked to leave the classroom would be considered a consequence and therefore logged/parents informed.

In support of teachers disliking certain kids. I was a good pupil, polite, keen and well behaved. Between the ages of 11 and 14 I was hated by a teacher. It was worse in my second year at senior school...He was head of year. I could do nothing right. He even accused me of punching someone when I clearly was no where near. Thankfully he did not teach me directly. But my school report from teachers he had influence over were poor, to the extent that my tutor took me to one side and asked what was going on as it didn't seem possible that I could behave and perform that badly.
Thankfully my parents, whilst wanting me to do well, really didn't care about formal education. Despite being English neither really went to school in the 1940s...in fact dad only went for 3 days and was illiterate. He was sick as a child and not expected to love live long so his mum thought it would be a waste of time to send him
I later found out that my dad's younger brother who did go to school regularly, was such a shit in senior school (the same one I went to 20 years later) that he caused that teacher so much grief that he left the profession for a couple of years...unfortunately he came back to the same school and wouldn't believe I wasn't the same as my uncle. Thankfully I am very thick skinned and it didn't affect me....in fact I found it hilarious when uncle told me about it!

It's a kind of cognitive bias I think. Partly confirmation bias - you notice things that confirm your initial impression about a child, you fail to notice things that disagree. Partly interpretation - a child is assumed to be asking questions because they weren't listening not because they didn't understand, they're assumed to be asking for the loo because they didn't go at break and not because they have an upset stomach, if they're smiling when you turn around it is assumed they were the instigator of the disruption, not being amused along with everyone else by someone else clowning. And partly in a busy classroom filling in the gaps in what you actually saw with what you were expecting to see.

I've seen this with one of DD's teachers. Fortunately DD wasn't her target - indeed when DD was upset about the shouting she even said to her "but I'd never raise my voice at /you/ DD".