Husband pissed on my clothes whilst drunk

[Middleagedmisunderstood]

AIBU

so last weekend hubby and I had a rare night out. To be fair we were both worse for wear. I came home, went to bed and was comatose until the morning. I got up…..he was downstairs making coffee. I put my dressing gown on and it was wet! It had been hanging on the back of the bedroom door. All down the back of it was wet. I couldn’t figure out why it was wet and there was no wet on the floor. So I went downstairs and told him about it and he very casually admitted he had got up for the loo in the middle of the night and didn’t make it further than the door and he had (accidentally) pissed on my clothes that were hanging up.

I’m not happy. I’ve been drunk but I’ve never pissed on anyone’s clothes! He is treating this incident like it’s a normality and I’m being unreasonable for feeling otherwise. I’ve kept quiet all week because we had a big celebration this week and I didn’t want to spoil it.

however. We work together in the same place and on Friday I learned he had having a great big joke about how drunk he was and how he couldn’t get out his bedroom door. I find this totally juvenile and nothing to laugh about. Still embarrassed and humiliated that my husband pissed on my clothes I finished the story off and told everyone he missed out the part where he pissed on his wife’s clothes. Needless to say I’m now the bad person for finishing off his story. I was mad, I was humiliated and I probably shouldn’t have said what I did. But even tonight I am in the wrong for not just brushing this off and treating as nothing.

the man pissed on my clothes!

AIBU ?

To be honest when I saw the title of this thread I laughed my brains out. Sorry OP.

Years ago some friends were staying in bunk beds in a hostel. Boyfriend was in the top bunk. You know where this is going right? He got pissed and wet the bed.

"So I went downstairs and told him about it and he very casually admitted he had got up for the loo in the middle of the night and didn’t make it further than the door and he had (accidentally) pissed on my clothes that were hanging up."

I can almost accept that he was struggling to get out of the door and his bladder took over. What CANNOT, SHOULD NOT, be accepted is that he then left your dressing gown, pissed on and full of urine, for you to find in that state.

He knew he'd pissed on it. He left it there. I cannot fathom such disrespect for you.

25 years of disrespect? And you’re only now wanting out? Leaving it for you to clean up is horrific, knowing he’d done it.

It is true that it’s different to pee yourself and to deliberately urinate, particularly if you’ve drunk enough to make it urgent and particularly particularly if you’re not blackout. If he was sober enough to aim and to remember what he did he just wasn’t giving a toss.

This sounds like he did it on purpose. What an arsehole.

Disgusting. I've read of this sort of thing a few times on here over the years and I know that for me there would be no way back from this.

So he was downstairs to make coffee while leaving your wet piss soaked clothes upstairs for you to find and put on. I mean, I’ve never pissed on anyone’s clothes drunk, but you can be sure if I had the first thing I’d be doing is taking them down and putting them in the wash, then apologizing profusely.

I have heard of men getting so drunk that they wee in a cupboard or something like that, but they don't know they have done it until they see the evidence or it is pointed out to them. OP's husband knew he had done it, which is weird, and then didn't put them in the washing machine but left them there for her to do that - minging and selfish. Then gets offended when OP points it out. Sounds a charmer.

My exH did many disgusting and unacceptable things while drunk (hence the ex bit), but seriously, even he never did this! It is not normal, it is totally disrespectful and disgusting. Any partner of mine who did something like this would have to provide serious mitigation to avoid being dumped immediately.

yanbu. He didn’t even take the initiative to pick the clothes up and clean them! Any man with a bit of emotional intelligence would have been absolutely mortified and sorted his mess out if he has any respect for his wife. He just left them for you to find them. And then he was so casual about it and laughed about it!

There seem to be SO many men who piss everywhere when they’re drunk! My ex was one of them, so my tolerance levels for men’s behaviour is zero nowadays.

You mention you have been unhappy with how he treats you. Is this going to be one of those threads where the OP starts with a single thing and it escalates? How is he when sober OP?

He didn’t purposely piss on her clothes though did he?

And I’d be disgusted that he left it there and didn’t remove it, as I’ve already said.

The fact that she didn’t wet herself even though she admits to being comatose, is pure luck though and she can’t say it was disgusting that he couldn’t get to the bathroom when she couldn’t either.

I will say though that, having three brothers, men piss on things when they’re drunk. Hopefully they piss on something outside, but sometimes they piss on things inside because they are drunk and stupid. Things my brothers (or their friends) have admitted to pissing on or in whilst drunk: kitchen sinks, plant pots, fountains, closets, armchairs, pillows, showers/bathtubs, coat racks, each other’s shoes, their own shoes, umbrella stands, car tyres, patio furniture, ornamental orange trees, a dog bed, and an oven(?!).

This is so very far from normal that it's worrying that you are so accepting of it.

A man who can piss all over his wife’s clothes is definitely a man covered in red flags already.

Years ago a student friend of mine woke up to find her drunk boyfriend had pissed in her shoes ! We all had a good laugh !! He was the one that ended up embarrassed when she told everyone !! Forget it and move on !

My suspicion is that OP is just waking up to the red flags

This must have been a deliberate act.

If he was that drunk he would have pissed himself where he was. If he needed a piss that bad there would have been enough to also have made the floor wet too.

I cannot see how it was an accident.

Absolute pigs.
Revolting. What way were they reared or was their father the same?

Why do we raise such low quality men in this country? Over and over we hear tales of abuse, coercive control, disrespect of women in general on this site. And as a collective, they egg each other on to become ever worse.
Threatened perhaps by the tide of capable women who are starting to call them out?

And generally its us women that raise these boy children to become these awful disrespectful bullies.....why?

Don't post if you're going to post idiotic things like that.

This is about the third thread like this this weekend and people are normalizing this. I'm just going to say, I'm far from teetoal. I very much like a glass of wine or two. But if I ever, ever got so drunk that I lost control of my bodily functions as an adult and ruined someone else's property, I would never drink again. I'm fairly sure that's a normal perspective.

That's a normal perspective, right?

I don’t understand how he didn’t make it to the toilet but urinated on hung up clothes. Sounds like he did it on purpose.

Anyway, yes he is gross 🤮

Got blind drunk.
Deliberately pissed on your clothes. Not his.
Left them without warning for you to find.
Left them without cleaning up or putting them in the washing machine.
Not apologising.
Making a joke of it to friends - I wonder what they really think of him?
Accusing you of being in the wrong.

My DH has never lost control of his bladder when drunk in the 33 years I’ve been married to him.

It really is not normal behaviour.

Are you the husband?