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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have told DH to get the fuck off me?

310 replies

Probablynotright · 11/11/2023 08:41

It’s not like me but Saturday mornings are a massive stress as swimming is early and we’re always late which pisses me off as it’s really expensive and I feel it makes us look bad.

So this morning is the usual chaos despite me being up since 6 and it looked like we might make it on time - I asked DH to pass me something and he kicked it towards me (an item of clothing) and then started giggling at my face. He then came over and started cuddling me and trying to kiss me and I hissed to get the fuck off me.

I know it was an overreaction but he does wind me up so much when we’re rushing.

OP posts:
Afteropening · 11/11/2023 08:41

I’m guessing that the marriage otherwise is a bit… shit?

SweetFemaleAttitude · 11/11/2023 08:43

You hate him don't you?

snowyowl22 · 11/11/2023 08:43

It does sound like a slight overreaction but I presume you were stressed and he was pissing you off. Don't worry about it. I've said worse to dh in similar situations.

MongoFrogman · 11/11/2023 08:43

But you still found time to post on Mumsnet?

Afteropening · 11/11/2023 08:44

What was his reaction to being told to fuck off?

Kate9423 · 11/11/2023 08:44

I don't see an issue with it personally 😂

Afteropening · 11/11/2023 08:45

MongoFrogman · 11/11/2023 08:43

But you still found time to post on Mumsnet?

I’m guessing made it to swimming?

Wittyname10 · 11/11/2023 08:45

You hissed it at him? Do you normally find him this insufferable?

I’d be hurt if that happened to me.

Vegetus · 11/11/2023 08:45

First 2 replies are more peak Mumsnet.

Apossum · 11/11/2023 08:46

Sounds like he probably winds you up all the time even when you’re not rushing tbh. Mildly irritating perhaps but not worth the overreaction of ‘hissing’ and swearing at him then a post about it on mumsnet tbh.
As an aside if getting to swimming on a Saturday morning makes you this stressed is there any option at all to change it? Your kids will remember how rushed and unpleasant swimming mornings were.

hamstersarse · 11/11/2023 08:46

I would change the swimming time. Sounds like it’s an enormous stressor for what’s supposed to be downtime at the weekend

SoupDragon · 11/11/2023 08:46

What have you (both) changed to make sure you aren't "always late" for swimming?

Take the stress out and there will be time for a laugh and a hug and no need for over reacting.

Pizzalover46 · 11/11/2023 08:46

Mu partner can do this sometimes, almost as though he's trying to get me out of a bad mood. Thing is when I have an objective in my head, I just want to be efficient and get it done. Him being playful/childish is no help whatsoever and I end up snapping at him. Its just personality differences. He's far more laid back than I am but I like to make sure we aren't late or things are kept on top of. Not much advice, but I get where you're coming from and it is incredibly irritating!

muggart · 11/11/2023 08:47

It's more important to find time for fun and silliness in your relationship than to be on time for swimming. I think you'll end up getting divorced if you always prioritise doing everything perfectly over bonding with your DH.

Ibizabar · 11/11/2023 08:49

Sometimes you don't want fun and silliness. Sometimes it's okay to be pissed off with your DH. It doesn't mean the marriage is shit or you hate them.

Needmorelego · 11/11/2023 08:51

Can you cancel the lessons and just go to fun swimming as a family.
Much less stressful.

Surgarblossom · 11/11/2023 08:53

SweetFemaleAttitude · 11/11/2023 08:43

You hate him don't you?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

arethereanyleftatall · 11/11/2023 08:54

Threads like these just go to show what is normal in one circle of people is not normal in others.

I have never hissed 'get the fuck off me' to anyone, don't know anyone at all who would. And so if I did, yes it would mean I completely loathe that person.

So I guess the question for the op is to query if that's 'normal' language for the two of you? Because whether it is or not will be the difference between ltb and just change your swimming time to a less stressful one.

Afteropening · 11/11/2023 08:55

Vegetus · 11/11/2023 08:45

First 2 replies are more peak Mumsnet.

Let me guess

You are in a marriage where hissing fuck off at your partner is no biggie and otherwise it’s a dreamy loving one?

Consideringachange2023 · 11/11/2023 08:58

its not ideal but then totally understandable when everyone is rushing and it’s stressful etc.
I would just say sorry I swore at you but I find it really enraging when I’m clearly stressed and in a rush and you think it’s the perfect time to mess around and have a joke - I appreciate you’re trying to lighten the mood but it doesn’t help to be honest so I’d rather you just either help or get out the way”

it doesn’t have to be a massive thing but this would also irritate the shit out of me if every week was the same and he’s just fannying around

Mylovelygreendress · 11/11/2023 08:59

The first 2 replies are just ……..ridiculous! OP is clearly stressed and looking for a wee bit of support .
OP can you change to a later class or , better still , cancel ? I taught all 3 of mine to swim and they are all competent swimmers and am currently teaching one of my DGC .

AgaMM · 11/11/2023 08:59

That’s more than a slight overreaction. It’s a huge overreaction and really unjustified unless there is some big dripfeed coming of him being a sexual pest and it’s an issue in your marriage.

Gerrataere · 11/11/2023 08:59

It doesn’t sound like you ‘hate him’ or have a shit marriage overall. However you say you were up from 6am op, what time was your husband up? Was he actually helping, because it reads (and I could be wrong) like you were trying to sort everything and he was just passively stood there. If it’s the case that you were dealing with most of the running around and his idea of ‘helping’ was to kick some clothes towards you, then try and kiss you when you’re stressed/overstimulated, I don’t think telling him to get the fuck off you was an overreaction. Just simply a reaction to his behaviour.

Dramatic · 11/11/2023 09:03

Was he getting the kids ready as much as you were or had he laid in bed/sat on the sofa doing nothing up til that point? If you'd been running round stressed trying to sort everything and he hadn't then your reaction is much more understandable, if still a bit ott.

Zanatdy · 11/11/2023 09:04

I’d have hated swimming on Saturday morning. We did it on a weekday, it was a stress getting from work on time but we just went straight from the Afterschool club and had a quick easy dinner that evening. Yes it was an over reaction. I hate being late and never was for swimming, what’s making you late? Look into it and resolve so you have less stress