To have told DH to get the fuck off me?

[Probablynotright]

It’s not like me but Saturday mornings are a massive stress as swimming is early and we’re always late which pisses me off as it’s really expensive and I feel it makes us look bad.

So this morning is the usual chaos despite me being up since 6 and it looked like we might make it on time - I asked DH to pass me something and he kicked it towards me (an item of clothing) and then started giggling at my face. He then came over and started cuddling me and trying to kiss me and I hissed to get the fuck off me.

I know it was an overreaction but he does wind me up so much when we’re rushing.

Also, why do you all go, like a family day out? Why not one go or farm it out to a grandparent or Childminder

i am sure they can do both, it doesnt take up the whole day does it

You are misunderstanding what people are saying op.

All 4 of you going swimming early is causing you stress.

You want your dd to go swimming and you want to take her. Fine.

So - address- why are all 4 of you going?!? That is the ridiculous thing. Not wanting to take your dd swimming. You haven't addressed the question/solution lots of people are saying which is - why doesn't he stay home with his baby?

stinking swimming pool what a lovely put down.

Thanks @Pizzalover46 , I know it’s a ‘thing’ on here sometimes, I’ve apologised so I can’t be given a hard time about that so I get flamed for taking my DD swimming.

The reason all four of us go is DH can’t settle the baby well, it isn’t his fault but when we all go she just naps in the car. So makes life easier - and he goes for a McDonalds brekkie so it really isn’t the horrendous morning others are making it out to be - IF we get out on time!

Also, there’s a nice park next to the ‘stinking swimming pool’ so we generally have a play there after swimming if the weather is okay.

I am going to ask again - why not teach DC yourself ? Why do parents tue themselves in knots getting very young DC to activities ?

I totally get that you don’t want to stop your daughters swimming lessons, I’ve been going with my son since he was 12 weeks and while some may scoff, we both thoroughly enjoy it and he’s learning an essential skill. That being said, I’d build up to leaving husband at home with the baby, if baby doesn’t do lessons as well. There’s no need to add stress by going en masse imo.

Tie

If two adults (one of whom has been up since 6am) can't get two children to swimming on time then this is a massive issue.

Your DH was an unhelpful dick this week but what is he like every week? You say it's very stressful and you are late every week - why?

The reason people have gone all "cancel the cheque" is because the easiest solution really is to cancel the swimming lessons for the little one until she is old enough to be in the pool herself. You can still swim (can you take the baby swimming as an activity separately while your DH does something with then older child? Doesn't have to be every week?)

You are being a maker of your own misery here.

@Crunchymum usually a combination of DH going for a poo or something at a critical moment or the baby fussing or both.

Saturdays for me are potting about the shops, nails etc, catching up with friends and their families, going for coffee or a burger. Often have people to stay as well and usually out in the evening for a dinner or brunch type thing. I cannot imagine how dull it must be to spend all day entertaining and educating children, don't you just want to spend time being an adult? I wouldn't want to live with a man who was enveloped in this grey drudgery, mine usually plays golf or does something he wants to do or just relaxes with the papers and tv.

He's going to have to learn the hard way, if he's dicking about hand him the baby and say you have to go and can not wait. Guaranteed it won't happen more than twice

To summarise this thread...

Op - there's this massively stressful thing we do every Saturday which pisses me off every time.

Posters - offer various solutions to avoid stress.

Op - but this thing is brilliant and we love it and all enjoy it, and you're all horrible for saying it's not a brilliant thing.

@Probablynotright you don't need to stop swimming - just the lessons.
Go swimming at a family fun session - all 4 of you. Splash about and go to the park afterwards.
(btw I don't think it's especially terrible to tell your spouse to f off once in a while if they are being especially annoying)

It must depend on how you interpret things as I don’t think it is massively stressful, or shouldn’t be. But I’m feeling quite low just now and that has really upset me. I feel like a useless mum and I honestly just think they’d all be better without me. That’s the effect your words are having. Please stop it. I’m taking my daughter swimming, I’m not doing anything bad or horrible or wrong.

This. I think my husband would be quite concerned about me if I started hissing and swearing at him, just because I never do it.
It‘s not like we never have arguments, but neither of us ever swore at the other.
Others might handle it differently though.

Op your last post is very very concerning. You are alluding to leaving your family or suicide

what is your family up to now?

That poster wasn’t even remotely hinting that you’re a bad mum. Not even remotely

@Probablynotright taking small kids swimming on a weekend morning is bloody stressful. I can see why this is annoying.

I’m not. I’m saying how I feel. Not what I’m going to do.

From this thread, I feel crap because we can’t get out on time even though I’ve been up since early, I can’t be nice to my husband even though I mostly am but anyway, and because my choices are apparently leading to stress for the whole family and my DD still can’t swim!

I am explaining to people their words are very hurtful. I don’t want to be told that I’m somehow wrong for going to a swimming lesson. If I did what some of you are telling me to do, we’d just not swim which OK if you’re not into swimming but it is important.

Go make up. Properly. And don't do it again.

Also tell him what "love" looks like for you on a Saturday morning.

100% behind you for swimming OP.

It's also not a particularly pleasant post either, is it? This is the issue with AIBU, people don't let up and behave like dickheads with no thought of the person at the other end reading their words.

I’m sorry @fulawitt , I’ve no idea what you mean, but I don’t think you’ve read the thread (not a criticism, just an observation) so best to leave the thread now. It isn’t helping me.