To have told DH to get the fuck off me?

[Probablynotright]

It’s not like me but Saturday mornings are a massive stress as swimming is early and we’re always late which pisses me off as it’s really expensive and I feel it makes us look bad.

So this morning is the usual chaos despite me being up since 6 and it looked like we might make it on time - I asked DH to pass me something and he kicked it towards me (an item of clothing) and then started giggling at my face. He then came over and started cuddling me and trying to kiss me and I hissed to get the fuck off me.

I know it was an overreaction but he does wind me up so much when we’re rushing.

Has he apologised to you in return? I’m obviously in a minority but I don’t think you should apologise at all. Had he been actively doing anything whilst you were rushing about or his he one of these ‘chilled men’ who doesn’t see jobs that need doing ‘like women do’?

Exactly this.
And then further, the posters on this thread seemingly proud that this is how they talk to their partner, going as far as the one poster whose husband laughed at posters who don't talk to their loved ones like this, as if it's something to aspire to.

Speaking to anyone like that isn’t typical for me at all but it is hard in the moment to be polite and ‘please do not do that DH, I am really very busy!’ is tricky! As I say I have apologised, it is done now.

Don't beat yourself up. Not everyone is a saint like some Mumsnetters claim to be.

You snapped, it's normal when you are stressed and your DH is dicking about instead of helping.

I wouldn’t swear at my husband.

The kicking the clothing then laughing at me would have really pissed me off, he sounds like an idiot

Mumsnet turning it into an online therapy session and physco-analyzing it. He wound you up, it was irritating, you told him to fuck off, I doubt you always speak like this, life isn't perfect and he should read the room or try and help more. I agree try to change the swimming time

Is it really unjustified to tell someone to get out of your personal space when you’re rushing and stressed?

can you really not see the difference between a straightforward "not now, I'm in a rush" and hissing "get the fuck off me"? FFS.

I’m not sure how change the swimming time is helpful unless we just don’t go swimming at a set time. It’s a two man job as we have two children and so I need DH out of the door. Im never late to anything when it’s just me and the kids!

i used to take mine to saturday lessons, but not so very early.
dh kept out of the way, worked saturday mornings

find it better that way

why is it a two man job?

Well, it’s what is available unfortunately: weekend sessions are high demand.

do you have to go in the pool too?

We have two children. One parent needs to be in the pool and other parent with other child

sounds tough @Probablynotright
yanbu

Mah everyone desperate to get you to make more changes. Bet it was you who arranged and booked and chased to get the swimming lessons eh? 2 year waiting list here so no you can't just change them.
So many laid back men, I'd be laid back if I had a wife carrying all the mental load and getting all the shit done.
You were nor unreasonable

I don’t blame you, my Dh can stand like a ruddy rock sometimes (I’m making coffee, so just need the distance between machine and sink and he comes to stand between the 2 🤬) but telling him to fuck off is not what I’d say. However, kicking the clothes would annoy the shite out of me. Does he think he’s funny generally? Mr Hilarious?

my dh comes and chats when i am getting ready to leave for work.
very frustrating

My post made me sound like I’ve got a mouth like a Docker, I haven’t really, however there have been times when rolling my eyes really loudly just didn’t cut it.

He’s a decent man but he does have a childish sense of humour which I don’t really appreciate if I’m honest, but I don’t want to be all uptight about things. I do find he gets in my way a lot! That’s partly me just finding it annoying generally though.

I get that you're stressed OP, but think you really need to rein that in. If my partner hissed in my face and swore at me when I was being playfully affectionate, albeit not at the best of times, I'd be very upset indeed. Wouldn't you?

I can absolutely see the difference, and someone basically lovebombing you instead of parenting/getting ready/getting out the door does justify the latter. Would any woman here genuinely, when seeing their husband trying to get himself out the door for work and getting the kids ready for school, stand about, kick his work bag at him then giggle and try and kiss him as he became more stressed? Would that be justified behaviour, because if the AIBU was the wife saying ‘he told me to get the fuck off him’ in this situation would probably be a unanimous ‘I’m not surprised, why the hell weren’t you also getting everything ready rather than pissing about then trying to kiss him?’.

OK, so for me I'd drop the lessons entirely until they can go into the pool by themselves.

Instead go swimming later in the day as a family to improve water confidence.

Your just creating stress for yourself here.

I think cancelling swimming lessons is a bit extreme. The problem with that is also that you end up fitting your life to suit someone else and that builds resentment.

Are your kids very little? You can usually find lessons where an adult doesn't need to go in from 3 years old (sometimes 4), I would wait until they're that age to do proper lessons and just go for fun before then as a family.