To have told DH to get the fuck off me?

[Probablynotright]

It’s not like me but Saturday mornings are a massive stress as swimming is early and we’re always late which pisses me off as it’s really expensive and I feel it makes us look bad.

So this morning is the usual chaos despite me being up since 6 and it looked like we might make it on time - I asked DH to pass me something and he kicked it towards me (an item of clothing) and then started giggling at my face. He then came over and started cuddling me and trying to kiss me and I hissed to get the fuck off me.

I know it was an overreaction but he does wind me up so much when we’re rushing.

Another vote for sending your husband to the swimming lesson with older DC, while you stay at home with the baby. That’s what we do.

I'm a swimming teacher and can confirm that beyond the Instagram videos of 'look at my baby 'swimming'', a child doesn't have long enough limbs to body ratio till about 4 or 5 depending on their own growth developing - so you can only get so far with swimming before you reach a dead end until their body catches up. If they can float independently, kick legs on back, submerge and kick in front - then they're not gonna get any further till about 5yo.

She’s never been photographed underwater. The thread has moved away from me getting annoyed and I agree using language I shouldn’t have to convey that annoyance to a pile on of me taking my child swimming. I don’t think that’s warranted.

If you don't swear normally when you do swear is much more effective.

Re the Saturday morning stress, swimming should be a fun activity. One adult goes swimming, the other stays home with baby - if the father is not good with swimming/baby he's only going to get better with practice. If swimming lesson requires parent in the pool could you not all four go swimming together (probably a little later) and just do the things you've been paying someone else to tell you?

The only person who has a problem with swimming lessons is you.

That's why we are recommending you drop them.

Yes and I’ve explained that I don’t want to drop them at the moment. I don’t think it’s fair DD misses out.

I don’t know any 3 year olds (actually she isn’t 3 until January) who can swim independently, it’s possible all the 3 year olds I know are really behind I suppose. I am doing my best and I do feel sometimes DH hinders rather than helps. But asking DD to sacrifice an activity she’s done for years for that reason isn’t something I’m comfortable with.

Stop the swimming lessons - no need for them if they put you in a bad mood

I’ll cancel the cheque while I do 🙄

I'd say you need to organise your time better.

Don't think its the swimming lessons creating the bad mood but the useless husband

I think your giving your 2 year old far too much credit for caring what she does early on a Saturday morning.

A swim instructor has said on this thread that kids under 4/5 get pretty much nothing out of lessons. You can get all that by going more cheaply as a family later in the day or on another day.

You go right ahead and continue making Saturday mornings unnecessarily hard for yourself lovey if you want to.

dont worry about the thread op,
if it suits you to go out as a family just carry on.
and yanbu,

Another vote for one parent stays at home with baby and other goes swimming.

Take turns, see what works best.

As mentioned above, Dad will get better with practice.

Get everything ready night before. What parts of the morning are causing the most stress? Can swimming child just have cereal in the car on way to swimming. Get child up, put on swimsuit and go straight to swimming??

I wouldn’t drop the lessons. But if it is that stressful in your house before swimming, it can’t be fun for your child. Saturdays would be more enjoyable for all of you without the morning starting with such stress!

No one would get away with hissing at me. If you have such contempt for him, the relationship should probably be reassessed.

Mean. Who gives a fuck about swimming? Your Saturday mornings are weird. Wtf gets up at 6am on a Saturday?

Possibly @Gillypie23 but again it isn’t really me, but DH. I’m not late when it’s just me / children going somewhere . I don’t wish to be unfair DH isn’t as used as I am to it.

I don’t honestly think it’s that hard to get out on time but I don’t really mind my life being hard, I just want DD to go swimming.

I have to say it’s the first time taking a child to swimming lessons has been criticised on here as far as I know!

My baby @Guesswho88

I understand fully about not wanting to quit, at our pool if you give up your slot you're at the back of a 4 year waiting list. Its just not feasible, realistically if you give up the spot in the baby classes you'll not be restarting in a year or 2 round here.

Sounds like you were busy and stressed and he was not being remotely helpful.
Why on earth would you want to be kissing and cuddling when you are running late from swimming.....
Not surprised you told him to fuck off. That would really annoy me too,.

Why live like that. Change the situation so this type of behaviour does not happen. Pack bags the night before, make sure clothes are set out and generally make going swimming easy rather than a stressful battle.
You reaction wasn't nice and is a symptom of your stress, he didn't help with daft behaviour.
You both need to make changes so you can have brief cuddles and fun and enjoy each others company.

@BaronessEllarawrosaurus exactly. Plus, it is probably the only time I get to spend with Dd one to one.

I might be being unfair but it feels like some of you are saying ‘OK, so in the mornings your DH doesn’t help you, stands in your way when you are trying to get out and let’s you struggle. Well, the solution is clear - don’t go out!’ Which to me seems really strange. I realise some of you don’t want to go swimming on a weekend morning and that’s fine, I’m not saying you should, but it’s hardly a ‘weird’ thing to do either.

Why all 4 need to go to to the swimming pool early morning if only 1 child has lessons. Weird arrangements.
It would be much more relaxed if one parent took the 3 year old and the other stayed at home with baby. Problem solved.

Welcome to AIBU OP! Some seem not to care that you apologised, and all is well again. They want to brow beat you into their opinion that you're doing it all wrong, you're with a terrible husband, and their way is the only way. How dare you not agree with them 🤣 glad it's all resolved anyway and you can enjoy your weekend!

We all snap when we're stressed, and it's mega annoying when YOU'RE stressed and your DP is just dicking around. I've been there. It's not what happened that's important, it's how you deal with it. Talk to him and explain that you're stressed in the morning trying to get everyone ready, and you need his support to make sure you can all leave the house in time.

Ugh why spend precious weekends at a stinking swimming pool? No wonder you are so unhappy, both of you. When did weekends become this treadmill of endless drudgery? I never, ever do anything I don't want to, or anything so redious at the weekend when I'm home. Just because you had children doesn't mean you can't take care of yourselves as well.