To have told DH to get the fuck off me?

[Probablynotright]

It’s not like me but Saturday mornings are a massive stress as swimming is early and we’re always late which pisses me off as it’s really expensive and I feel it makes us look bad.

So this morning is the usual chaos despite me being up since 6 and it looked like we might make it on time - I asked DH to pass me something and he kicked it towards me (an item of clothing) and then started giggling at my face. He then came over and started cuddling me and trying to kiss me and I hissed to get the fuck off me.

I know it was an overreaction but he does wind me up so much when we’re rushing.

Or could DH go swimming on his own with DC1 while you mind the baby if you need to feed her and she's better at napping for you?

You are very pissed off and frustrated with this thread. Lots of eye rolls and “I will try again” and “I have explained 30x”

so this may help

And (sorry, I’m on a roll now 🤣)

DH had a full nights sleep last night ✔️

He got up at 730 ✔️

He had a shower, got dressed, passed one item of clothing to me ✔️

Got sworn at - OK not great ❎

but I did apologise almost immediately ✔️

Drove twenty minutes and had breakfast ✔️

is that really this awful, difficult morning he gets no choice in?

I will leave the thread when I wish to @Afteropening . Not when you decide I should. To be honest, while it is exasperating repeating yourself over and over I think your aim is to get me worked up and upset, it’s really an unpleasant trait. This issue was sorted hours ago but the debate about swimming rages on.

We did that once @CurlyhairedAssassin and he was late. Also like I say it’s the only time I get to spend one on one with DD1, so it is quite important to me.

Enjoy your evening OP

I think the issue is that you've got a 3 month old breastfed baby. It's a stressful phase of parenting. Everyone is tired, but you're the most tired. And understandably, someone dicking around when you're trying to get organised in the morning will piss a tired person off.

I still don't think you're doing yourself any favours by going out so early at the weekend for swimming at this stage of your DC2's life. But you absolutely don't want to change that so the only thing to do is ask DH to get up earlier than he is, to help out.

Honestly - why do some of you think that’s the better solution? I really don’t understand and I don’t mean that in a PA MN ‘I just don’t understaaaaand’ way, I genuinely am not seeing why leaving DD2 at home with DH is the ‘better’ solution

Because you’ll have one day of having a grumpy baby and a grumpy husband, while you take DD1 swimming so she doesn’t miss out. And next Saturday, when he’s sodding about, you tell him that you’re leaving at 10am and if he’s not ready to come with you, then he’ll need to stay at home with DD2 again. He’s not going to want to do that, because who wants to spend the morning hungry with a screaming baby when they could be out having a breakfast with a sleeping baby? So he will pull his finger out and make sure he’s in the car and ready to go when it’s time to leave.

Perhaps my perception is skewed due to having preschoolers but 9am doesn’t seem all that early to me!

IMO:

Swimming lessons aren't a problem.

Going as a family, and spending one-to-one time with DD1, then going for a family walk etc isn't a problem (in fact, it's a nice way to spend the morning).

Swearing at your partner in a non-jokey way is a problem.

(I don't go for the 'swearing as banter', myself, but maybe I'm too old for that malarkey).

I would have been very hurt by the "get the fuck off me", and I would probably have been inclined never to touch my partner again if they had come out with that line. I'd have accepted their apology, but I'd have made a mental note.

@Nagado except while that might impact DH detrimentally, the ones who really miss out are the children. And me, because DD1 would tantrum at not going to the park and battle and Dd2 would be unsettled at night due to a bad days sleep (it’s a thing.)

Anyway, we will get a better routine I am sure.

Well - I can confirm he hasn’t made a mental note not to touch me again.

What's the issue is that he gets no choice in how he looks after the baby for an hour. OP is insistent that he does it her way

He chooses not to look after the baby on his own, because he can't do it. So he has to go with the OP. I except he makes it really fucking difficult for her. So she can't win.

@Probablynotright

im sure your husband would happily sacrifice his McDonald’s breakfast in order to have a lie in and relax on a Saturday morning
Most people would

I would have added "you bellend" to the end of it.

Good for him.

And poor him, if he's got to put up with being spoken to like that. If a man spoke that way to a woman, he'd be roasted on here.

So just to be clear here, you think I should cancel DD1’s swimming and have both children single handedly until what time, so DH can have a lie in? Have I understood you correctly?

Wow the way you guys project is alarming.

Ah, OP.

You're doing a nice thing for your child and family.

You've got two young kids and by the sounds of it, a kind and loving DH with a silly sense of humour:

You also sound kind and loving. And tired, and exasperated, like 1000s of other mums of little kids.

I hope you get to relax tonight after the kids have gone to bed. Having little ones is bloody relentless ❤️

Thanks @CantFindTheBeat

And getting up and out early when you have little kids is perfectly normal, in my book.

My two used to wake up around 5.30/6am on a good day.

Out at 8.30am felt like mid-morning to us.

She'd be told to pack his bags and not put up with the abusive language.

Yes, the OP complained Saturday mornings are stressful. However, that’s not the point of her thread, is it? She was asking if she was BU to swear at her DH — not for advice on planning her Saturdays…

DH hasn’t had breakfast

Why is this an issue for a grown man? Can't he stick the toaster on while baby is crying.

Mcdonalds breakfast in a car is awful imo.

How about you: get on the waiting list for midmorning swimming

She would.

And rightly so.