Messaged my husband’s friend and shouldn’t have

[LiarLiarKnickersAblaze]

Dh came home absolutely bladdered this evening with six pints in him and no dinner. He collapsed over kitchen too, vomited on dining room table. Managed to manoeuvre him into bed where he was sick again despite my shoulder being fucked with an injury at the moment.

I’m due in London tomorrow morning, was meant to be leaving at the crack of dawn for long pre-arranged trip. Obviously not now as don’t feel safe leaving DD (8) alone in house when I don’t know when he’s going to wake up. I know she can make herself breakfast and watch TV but I wouldn’t feel right being on train to another city not knowing.

Anyway I was really crossed and WhatsApp’ed his friend/work colleague from his phone and asked how much he had drunk because I’ve never seen DH like this and said state DH was in and impact it was now having on me. Friend was sarky and rude.

I’m regretting this as DH will be cross when he finds out tomorrow. Just found it so bloody selfish but not his friend’s problem or fault.

So cross 😡

I had this behaviour from my exh. It's not a nice place to be in so I feel you OP.

But you go tomorrow. Wake him up in good time and let him hang out of his arse and be a dad. It's not fair on you. I'm guessing he wouldn't change his plans if you were unwell (from illness not hangover!).

My ex did this so many times and it's really unfair. Stand your ground!

Yeah, you probably shouldn't have messaged the work mate. Your DH is an adult and his behaviour isn't their responsibility. Maybe text back and apologise, save your ire for him.

He will be annoyed with you? Not the other way round?
No way I would tolerate this kind of behaviour.

What on earth does it have to do with the work colleague? I’d be pissed if I got a message like this, the other person is an adult, how much they do or don’t drink is not my problem.

I’m livid. Have been looking forward to this day trip. He promised it was 1-2 after work with dinner in pub

Yes this. Why on earth are you worrying about how he’ll feel? Are you always tiptoeing around him? He’s a tosser (and gross) and he should be worried about what YOU think.

although, sure, if I was the friend I’d be like how cringe seeing as it isn’t his responsibility to look after your fully grown man child

Yeah I know. I wanted to know how much DH had drunk as he was face over the kitchen counter and fell into the open fridge but then also made cross comment. Selfish bloody behaviour from the pair of them but he’s not my problem.

All true.

DH is the one at fault. You shouldn't have messaged his friend. Putting myself in the friends position, if my friends husband text me that, I'd be calling him all the names under the sun!
Your DH will be pissed off you did that, but he doesn't really have a leg to stand on. I'd wake him up in the morning and make sure he gets up!

He'll be ok, go tomorrow as planned. Just set an alarm beside him and tell Dd to wake him at a set time. Don't wake him at the crack of dawn as he might then genuinely be unable to mind DD. If he vomited and had an early night he should be OK tomorrow. I get you are are livid and I agree you shouldn't have texted his pal but its not fair they were rude to you. Also remember he didn't plan to get so drunk and obviously wouldn't have wanted to vomit so I expect he will be embarrassed and upset when he sobers up. Lessons learned all round I would say.

It's done now, so don't worry about it. He was inconsiderate getting into that state when he knew you had an early start. His work colleagues will probably take the micky out of him big time now, but that's his worry.

Are you sure it was just pints? 6 is not so much as to have someone react like that (ime, everyone is different) it just seems like a brutal reaction to 6 pints.

Don't let this become about you texting his mate. Apologise via text, nothing too long. Asap.
Then deal with your husband in the morning. Do you think he'll be remorseful?

Messaging the mate was tragic. It was nothing to do with him.
But I'm baffled as to why you think you can't go out for the day tomorrow? Your child is 8 and he's only had 6 pints?

It never ceases to amaze me why women put up with shite like this. Raise your standards

Im sure the daughter will be fine. Wake your dh in the morning and tell him to get up.

if he cant, if he wont look after hus daughter, if he sabotages your planned day out, it might be time to think a lot more about what his behaviour is like generally.

You are not at all being unreasonable. You are presented with a fully grown man who is out of control and you need to know what the circumstances are that led to this situation as you are now in charge of him, like it or not.. You can’t ask him to enlighten you, can you so obviously you ask someone else who can. Don’t take any nonsense. People who are pissed are annoying. I’m not saying ppl shouldn’t get pissed but if you DO get pissed and or play a part in getting someone else pissed expect a sober person to take the high ground.

Six pints?! I just got home from six pints and
am completely sensible. He did not have six pints.

After clearing up 2 lots of vomit, 1 in the bed, I wouldn’t give a toss whether he is angry you texted his mate. Do not let it be about that.

Set the alarm for the time your Dd is likely to wake, and another for 10 minutes later. He’ll be OK after 8 hours sleep. Feeling delicate maybe, oh the poor love.

Six pints of vodka maybe. Empty a bucket of water over him on your way out.

It depends on the person.

6 pints would absolutely floor me, in fact I don't think I could physically drink that much liquid anyway.

I think you need to choose for yourself what’s happening tomorrow, but know it’s your choice.

He’ll have a hangover but he’ll be fine. Go on your trip.

He's home early enough to decently sleep it off before tomorrow. If he had rolled in at 3 or 5 I'd be reconsidering going, but I think given he was passed out by midnight he will cope tomorrow even if he feels like total shite.

It's not your responsibility to sort out his mess, but I understand feeling responsibility to make sure your child has an OK day! For this reason and this alone I'm wondering if there's anyone around you can arrange a last-minute playdate with or something? Would that make it easier for you to still go and have a nice time tomorrow, if you knew your DD was with another responsible adult and having fun too?

You’re entitled to be annoyed, and tomorrow you can frame it as being worried/concerned he’d had his drinks spiked or something. It’s done now. Head off in the morning and send the friend a text midday to say thankfully he seems to be recovering. It’s grand.