To not get niece & nephew Christmas presents this year?

[fudgelover1]

I always buy my niece and nephew Christmas presents, and I usually buy like 3/4 parents as their birthdays are in December so it's a joint present.

However last year they never said thank you and the parents didn't say anything either.

I never get any presents back of my sister and BIL.

This year I don't feel like buying my niece and nephew anything for Christmas just because I dont find them appreciative or grateful.

My nephew was chucking the toys on the floor that I brought him last year.

They are 8 and 13.

Am I being unreasonable to not buy them anything this year?

It sounds like they are unwrapping gifts every year in the presence of several adults and not one person, yourself included, has told them to say thank you. I don’t think you need to make this into a production just remind them to say thank you when they’re opening gifts this year.

they're opening the presents at your parents' (their grandparents') house, in front of the entire family and never say thank you to you? do they thank anyone for the presents they receive? none of the adults present have ever suggested that they say thank you?

do they not see or hear their cousin (your other sister's DC) thanking you?

I think YWBVU to waste any more time or money on buying gifts for them, for either their birthdays or Xmas.

It sounds like your parents and sister have all noticed the rudeness, and would totally understand why you'd stopped buying anything for them. Let their own parents notice the different treatment and if they say anything, use your words to explain why you've stopped being taken for a mug by them all. If you must get anything, give them a chocolate orange or generic box of chocs/ biscuits for the family of four to share, they don't deserve thoughtful individual gifts.

They will open my other sisters presents and not say thank you either and in front of everyone as well.

I must agree that it is the parents fault as they themselves don't really have manners.

I never even got a thankyou when I brought my sister and BIL perfume/ aftershave last year.

It's funny as I wrote them a Christmas card and they must of been expecting some money in it as they just left it at my parents house on the floor.

Probably a box of McVitities biscuits will be sufficient this year for them.

I hear you OP.
I’ve been buying my nieces and nephews presents for years. I even buy their DC now. My own DC’s birthdays have been totally forgotten this year, one a major milestone birthday.

I said I wasn’t buying this Christmas, I’m wavering a bit, and might just do a selection box, but definitely no expensive present.

It costs nothing for people to have manners and it just baffles me to how people can't even say a simple "thank you".

I think a box of McVitities biscuits or tub of Quality Street will be sufficient this year.

I defo will not be spending more than £5 on them.

They are still just children. 😳

Yanbu

We don't do pressies for the cousins, as we see them infrequently and none of us want to spend money on yet more stuff. Maybe frame it that way?

.So if I don't buy for one sister's kids it will look bad not buying for the other

It won't just look bad. It actually will be bad.

So is failing to extend thanks, leaving heartfelt greeting cards behind, tossing gifts onto the floor and saying "what else did you get me?"

Kids aren't OWED gifts. Rude little ingrates deserve the natural consequences.

At most I'd get them a packet of thank-you stationery.

A 12 year old was old enough to say Thank you!!

12 year olds are not small kids. They can say thank you.

...so was the 7 year old...

YANBU. Their parents should be giving them a pen and a piece of paper, showing them how to write a basic letter of thanks, and posting it to you. Or at least getting them to send you a thank you text from their phones. If they're not going to teach them to be grateful, they can learn from the natural consequences of no longer receiving presents when they don't thank the giver.

I remember being 6 years old and being handed the telephone and told to phone up my aunty to say thank you. And at 12 I was most certainly writing my own thank you cards without being told to.

They’re both old enough to say thank you. I used to get DD to send a voice note on my phone when she was 8, now she’s 14 she texts, but probably wouldn’t if I didn’t remind her. The parents should remind them, but I wouldn’t punish the kids by not getting them anything. Perhaps a word with your sibling about the kids not even acknowledging the present and that that is a little ungrateful. You’re not asking for a six page thank you note, just an acknowledgment, which is just basic manners.

My grandchildren always send thank you notes for Xmas/birthday presents and have done since they were small - even if it was mum writing the card and them
putting a scrawl at the end. No excuse at all - cut them off your list! X

Don't bother buying one tbh

One of my daughter's stocking fillers every year was a box of thank you cards. On the day after Boxing Day, the rule was she sat at the table and wrote a very few short words, but including ‘thank you’. It took less than one hour. I addressed them, put the stamps on and posted them. No excuses. Incredibly rude not to thank people. Her children now do the same.

One of my daughter's stocking fillers every year was a box of thank you cards. On the day after Boxing Day, the rule was she sat at the table and wrote a very few short words, but including ‘thank you’. It took less than one hour. I addressed them, put the stamps on and posted them. No excuses. Incredibly rude not to thank people. Her children now do the same.

And?

I'd still get them something small like chocolates and passively aggressively say "you're welcome" if they don't thank you.

If u wan to buy something you could get them a voucher for the cinema, say £15 and let them put the rest towards it. And if anyone says anything just say you thought you had got the presents wrong in previous years as nobody mentioned them and leave it there.

I'd drop other people's gifts off before Xmas so it's not weird obvious and awkward

Not unreasonable at all, why bother if they don't care? Also, we don't buy my partner's nephew's Xmas presents BC they will likely just end up in a dump in a few months anyway, the whole holiday is just incredibly wasteful. Plenty of better things to do with the money.