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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not cancel our wedding because DS has COVID

449 replies

CheeseCrackers45 · 07/11/2023 13:28

Hi all. 1 year old son has had a bit of a cough for about a week. He's a bit tired but otherwise well. No fever, happily playing etc. Went to the GP today just in case it was another chest infection (he's already had several). Turns out he has COVID.

Here's the kicker... Me and DSs dad are due to get married on Thursday and DS is obviously attending 😅 We've taken tests and so far they are negative. My colleague is saying I'm being selfish by not cancelling the wedding. Me and my partner have decided to go ahead with it, but of course will be telling all guests that DS has COVID and letting them make their own decision about attending.

YANBU - no you shouldn't cancel
YABU - You should cancel

OP posts:
Ace56 · 07/11/2023 13:29

No I wouldn’t cancel. Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell the guests that your baby is positive…Covid is basically just a cold now.

Flipdiddle · 07/11/2023 13:30

Sounds like you’re not all the keen to get married

not a chance I’d cancel for the sake of my baby attending

as if he will in any shape or form enjoy / be interested / care or indeed remember attending

MelRoc · 07/11/2023 13:31

If he’s had symptoms for about a week already he’ll likely not be contagious by Thursday and he’d be well out of the 5 days isolation.

BitofaStramash · 07/11/2023 13:31

Is your friend going to pay for all the costs if you cancel?

Absolutely go ahead. You are letting your guests know (which is thoughtful but not necessary) so if its a problem for anyone they don't need to come.

Hope you have a brilliant day.

CC222 · 07/11/2023 13:31

There are no rules or regulations on covid restrictions anymore so definitely don't cancel. It's kind of you to let everyone know so they can make their own decision, but it's not selfish to carry on.
Hope he's better soon, and I hope you all enjoy your big day 😁

Flipdiddle · 07/11/2023 13:32

Ace56 · 07/11/2023 13:29

No I wouldn’t cancel. Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell the guests that your baby is positive…Covid is basically just a cold now.

That seems a bit shite

Flipdiddle · 07/11/2023 13:32

Where is DS today?

StuffLoriThangs · 07/11/2023 13:32

I wouldn’t cancel, as even with insurance, you’re unlikely to get the money back because DS is bridal party.

Flipdiddle · 07/11/2023 13:33

The GP tested a 1 year old for cold? 🤔

Chanelbasketballandchain · 07/11/2023 13:34

I didn't even know some people still tested for covid.

Would anyone not attend a wedding, let alone cancel, because a child is a bit tired and has a bit of a cough? Of course not.

Original poster
CheeseCrackers45 · 07/11/2023 13:34

@Flipdiddle what an odd comment. Of course we want to get married as, well, why would we be getting married in the first place if we weren't? 😂 I only ask because we do have a few guests that are considered vulnerable (DPs elderly grandparents and my dad, who was asthma). Absolutely nothing to do with how keen we are or aren't to get married.

OP posts:
Broodywuz · 07/11/2023 13:34

Ace56 · 07/11/2023 13:29

No I wouldn’t cancel. Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell the guests that your baby is positive…Covid is basically just a cold now.

Yip I agree, if you had the cold you wouldn't cancel.

Beamur · 07/11/2023 13:35

Go ahead - tell people but likelihood is that DS won't be infectious by then. I'd be more worried that you or your DP could come down with it.

mn29 · 07/11/2023 13:35

If he's had it for a week he's unlikely to be infectious by Thursday. You and fiancé may be positive (if you test) by that point though...

Tessasanderson · 07/11/2023 13:35

Get married and enjoy. Just dont go blathering about him 'having covid' to anyone else. Its fine having MN judge you but you dont need your close circle of friends and family jumping on the bandwagon.

If i was invited to your wedding i wouldnt give it a second thought. I have zero control over 99.9% of the people i meet/pass in the street or supermarket. Whats the difference?

mumto2teenagers · 07/11/2023 13:35

I wouldn't cancel, I would let guests know so they can make their own decision but suspect most will still attend.

ladeluge · 07/11/2023 13:35

Cancel a wedding for this? Honestly WTF... NO. Agree with pp. If you are both negative, leave baby out of the proceedings. He won't give a monkeys. You can have a photo later in your own home dressed up as you were on the day.

Problem is getting someone to look after the child I suppose.

You have been very foolish in telling your colleague I think. But the problem is yours to solve now. Either bring baby and tell everyone (some will not turn up), or keep baby out of it and tell no one.

Tessasanderson · 07/11/2023 13:36

An dont take a covid test yourselves. Just like your DS, it will achieve nothing other than to raise more questions.

Flipdiddle · 07/11/2023 13:36

CheeseCrackers45 · 07/11/2023 13:34

@Flipdiddle what an odd comment. Of course we want to get married as, well, why would we be getting married in the first place if we weren't? 😂 I only ask because we do have a few guests that are considered vulnerable (DPs elderly grandparents and my dad, who was asthma). Absolutely nothing to do with how keen we are or aren't to get married.

Sure op

waste every penny that you’ve spent
and… delay getting married

because your baby couldn’t attend

Definitelynotme2022 · 07/11/2023 13:36

I wouldn't cancel, but I would let everyone know so that they can make their own decision whether to attend or not.

To those saying Covid is just a cold.... it really isn't for some people. I've had it recently and it knocked me for six for more than a week, it was definitely more like proper flu. I couldn't get out of bed for 2 days, veered between temperature and shivering and every single bit of me ached!!

OP - fingers crossed that you and STB DH don't get it! When I had it, it was just me out of family of four that got it.

Flipdiddle · 07/11/2023 13:37

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Flipdiddle · 07/11/2023 13:37

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Express0 · 07/11/2023 13:38

Definitelynotme2022 · 07/11/2023 13:36

I wouldn't cancel, but I would let everyone know so that they can make their own decision whether to attend or not.

To those saying Covid is just a cold.... it really isn't for some people. I've had it recently and it knocked me for six for more than a week, it was definitely more like proper flu. I couldn't get out of bed for 2 days, veered between temperature and shivering and every single bit of me ached!!

OP - fingers crossed that you and STB DH don't get it! When I had it, it was just me out of family of four that got it.

And a cold can do exactly that to some people. Ever heard of post viral fatigue? That’s what it was called before ‘long Covid’ became a thing

Toddlerteaplease · 07/11/2023 13:38

I wouldn't cancel either. Insurance is unlikely to cover it anyway.

HJ40 · 07/11/2023 13:38

@Flipdiddle What is your agenda? DFOD.

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