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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not cancel our wedding because DS has COVID

449 replies

CheeseCrackers45 · 07/11/2023 13:28

Hi all. 1 year old son has had a bit of a cough for about a week. He's a bit tired but otherwise well. No fever, happily playing etc. Went to the GP today just in case it was another chest infection (he's already had several). Turns out he has COVID.

Here's the kicker... Me and DSs dad are due to get married on Thursday and DS is obviously attending 😅 We've taken tests and so far they are negative. My colleague is saying I'm being selfish by not cancelling the wedding. Me and my partner have decided to go ahead with it, but of course will be telling all guests that DS has COVID and letting them make their own decision about attending.

YANBU - no you shouldn't cancel
YABU - You should cancel

OP posts:
BeetleDeuce · 07/11/2023 15:21

Agree to let people know and don’t be upset if they don’t want to attend. Everyone has to make their own risk assessment. (Two years disabled by long covid here also.)

Bringbackdrifterbars · 07/11/2023 15:22

@Flipdiddle asked the same weird questions on my post about getting the flu 😅
not sure her obsession with viruses.

Teder · 07/11/2023 15:25

Normandy144 · 07/11/2023 15:20

Stop telling people your son has Covid. They don't need to know. Don't test yourselves either. Ultimately if there are vulnerable people out there then presumably they're not leaving the house anyway in case they get it?

Oh come on, that’s shit to say people like me should stay at home.
I’m very vulnerable and I’d want to know! I’m not staying at home and I’d come but I’d probably avoiding giving the baby a cuddle. Ditto if the little one had a nasty cold or chicken pox.

TrashedSofa · 07/11/2023 15:28

The GP covid tested a 1 year old?! Or did you do it?

MrShady · 07/11/2023 15:30

Normandy144 · 07/11/2023 15:20

Stop telling people your son has Covid. They don't need to know. Don't test yourselves either. Ultimately if there are vulnerable people out there then presumably they're not leaving the house anyway in case they get it?

See this is the annoying bit

People keep saying that they can't be expected to isolate with covid. But then say vulnerable people have to manage themselves which yeah, means staying in
Or wearing an FFP2 mask

I go food shopping (with mask) and in the spring/summer swim outdoors
Apart from that.. I went to a Christmas meal last year after listening to too many people about how I was isolating myself and it was just a cold
Caught covid. 3 weeks off work, on antivirals and under the covid at home team
So this year I can't go to the family Christmas because I don't want to risk it again

It's shit but that's life for me now I guess

Universalsnail · 07/11/2023 15:30

I wouldn't cancel but I'd find someone else willing to have DS. He's one and doesn't need to be at the wedding with COVID.

Bringbackdrifterbars · 07/11/2023 15:34

@TrashedSofa GP and A&e departments do still rest if needed. Guessing it goes on location as well but daughter was tested a week ago.

TrashedSofa · 07/11/2023 15:36

Bringbackdrifterbars · 07/11/2023 15:34

@TrashedSofa GP and A&e departments do still rest if needed. Guessing it goes on location as well but daughter was tested a week ago.

I had heard about A and E. My friend had it the other week at one, West Midlands if that makes a difference. But didn't know anything about GPs.

Comedycook · 07/11/2023 15:39

No way would I cancel. I also wouldn't even bother to tell the guests...unless any of them are vulnerable.

Mavissdaviss · 07/11/2023 15:43

FFS, stop telling OP to not bring her son. It’s her wedding day. Yes he might not care or remember but adults are allowed to want the people they love with them on their wedding day.

Dinoswearunderpants · 07/11/2023 15:44

Your colleague is an idiot.

Feel free to inform your guests that he has covid, if they decide not to attend then that's their choice.

Otherwise have a wonderful wedding day. You don't need this stress and a poorly little one before your big day. Sending hugs.

Jungfraujoch · 07/11/2023 15:44

I wouldn’t cancel but it’s courteous to tell people. But be prepared for people to drop out - they may be elderly or have other health issues you’re not aware of. To the PP who said “it’s just a cold” - tell that to people I know have it currently and are struggling with breathlessness and feeling just dreadful (and they are otherwise healthy!). Hope your little boy recovers soon and you have a wonderful wedding day.

junbean · 07/11/2023 15:49

Ace56 · 07/11/2023 13:29

No I wouldn’t cancel. Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell the guests that your baby is positive…Covid is basically just a cold now.

So sick of hearing this! It hasn't suddenly morphed into a different kind of virus. It's still Covid and it still kills and leaves millions with LIFELONG illness! I can no longer work and can barely take care of myself, almost totally disabled because of people like you spreading it without concern for others. This is either a highly ignorant statement or a disgustingly selfish one.

Growlybear83 · 07/11/2023 15:50

Assuming you and your husband to be are both testing negative, I don't think I would cancel the wedding but I would try to make arrangements for your son to spend the day with someone else if he's still positive the day before - at 1 he's not going to remember it anyway. If you can't find anyone to look after your son and he has to be at the wedding then I think you've got a moral obligation to let your guests and other people involved in the wedding know so that they can make an informed choice on whether to attend.

Willyoujustbequiet · 07/11/2023 15:53

Ace56 · 07/11/2023 13:29

No I wouldn’t cancel. Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell the guests that your baby is positive…Covid is basically just a cold now.

According to the stats there are about 600 still dying every week in the UK. Including some in their 20s.

Staggeringly selfish not to tell people

Autumnvibes23 · 07/11/2023 15:55

I always find it strange when people like Covid to a cold. Obviously it is to some people (and I guess they probably wouldn't even know they have COVID) but everyone I know who has had it has been really unwell. My kids dad has been seriously unwell with COVID for the last 2 weeks. My sister-in-law was in bed for 5 days with COVID recently and I've never known her to go to bed with an illness - certainly not a cold! The reason people still test for Covid is because when you're that unwell you would normally seek medical help but if you find out it's Covid then you know there's nothing they can do in general.

I wouldn't cancel your wedding. And if DS is not unwell and would be happy to be there then fine but if he was really unwell it wouldn't be fair. If his latest Covid tests are negative then I assume he wouldn't be contagious. If they were coming up positive I wouldn't want him near grandparents as COVID can be so nasty.

Lose10kyesterday · 07/11/2023 15:59

Normandy144 · 07/11/2023 15:20

Stop telling people your son has Covid. They don't need to know. Don't test yourselves either. Ultimately if there are vulnerable people out there then presumably they're not leaving the house anyway in case they get it?

Words fail me.

nopuppiesallowed · 07/11/2023 16:03

'Me and my partner have decided to go ahead with it, but of course will be telling all guests that DS has COVID and letting them make their own decision about attending.' That's a responsible and kind attitude, particularly as elderly and vulnerable people have been invited. You'd feel terrible if you didn't give them the option of staying away or keeping your son at a distance and then they contracted it. Even if they actually caught it somewhere else, you'd never know that for sure.
I hope that your wedding can still go ahead and that you have a wonderful day!
PS
To those saying Covid is just a cold - I've had LC for over 2 and a half years. It's been life changing for me. No Am Dram. No.long walks. Only sedentary type holidays. No football with the grandchildren. And our chimney cleaner now has to have his wife helping him in his work as he also has LC and the fatigue is still crippling him after 18 months. He's had to have a lot of time off work and had to give up all hus hobbies. COVID IS NOT JUST A COLD! And there's about 2 million of us.

ExTheCheater · 07/11/2023 16:06

Ace56 · 07/11/2023 13:29

No I wouldn’t cancel. Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell the guests that your baby is positive…Covid is basically just a cold now.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 not for me it wasn't, was bloody horrendous. I actually think you should go ahead OP but do let people know. It's not like a cold for all of us I thought I was going to die. Edited to add I'm in no way vulnerable (as I see someone said if you are vulnerable surely you would stay home). I have no health conditions, yet I was so unwell with covid. You never know how it will affect you I guess.

Jaxhog · 07/11/2023 16:15

I would have discrete words with anyone who is particularly vulnerable, especially if you and/or your partner also test positive.

Yes, some people still test! But most people don't seem to care. Like the people on a recent coach trip who didn't even bother to wear masks, even though they were clearly ill. As a consequence, my 94-year-old vulnerable Mum caught Covid.

Jaxhog · 07/11/2023 16:16

"Covid is basically just a cold now." - if only it was. Some of us more vulnerable people still get quite ill.

howdoesyourgardengrowinmay · 07/11/2023 16:19

Flipdiddle · 07/11/2023 13:30

Sounds like you’re not all the keen to get married

not a chance I’d cancel for the sake of my baby attending

as if he will in any shape or form enjoy / be interested / care or indeed remember attending

no it doesn't.

sounds like she's worried about spreading covid.

rainbowunicorn · 07/11/2023 16:25

HJ40 · 07/11/2023 13:38

@Flipdiddle What is your agenda? DFOD.

That poster just seems to go in threads to bombard the OP with pointless questions and make a pest of themselves. Several posters pulled them up yesterday about it.

paradoxicalfrog · 07/11/2023 16:30

Ace56 · 07/11/2023 13:29

No I wouldn’t cancel. Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell the guests that your baby is positive…Covid is basically just a cold now.

Irresponsible advice. Educate yourself about the numbers developing Long Covid; the increased risk of strokes and blood clots etc.

paradoxicalfrog · 07/11/2023 16:35

"The advice is for people to attend work etc as long as they feel well enough to."

The advice is shit. And this is why people are picking up Covid in hospitals, for example, and children picking it up in schools because staff are being given similar advice.