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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not cancel our wedding because DS has COVID

449 replies

CheeseCrackers45 · 07/11/2023 13:28

Hi all. 1 year old son has had a bit of a cough for about a week. He's a bit tired but otherwise well. No fever, happily playing etc. Went to the GP today just in case it was another chest infection (he's already had several). Turns out he has COVID.

Here's the kicker... Me and DSs dad are due to get married on Thursday and DS is obviously attending 😅 We've taken tests and so far they are negative. My colleague is saying I'm being selfish by not cancelling the wedding. Me and my partner have decided to go ahead with it, but of course will be telling all guests that DS has COVID and letting them make their own decision about attending.

YANBU - no you shouldn't cancel
YABU - You should cancel

OP posts:
Redcargidan · 07/11/2023 16:43

I wouldn't cancel and I wouldn't even mention it to anyone.
People are walking around with covid and not testing so acting normally. There's no restrictions anymore.
We are coming in to the season of winter colds and flu. Vulnerable people have been offered flu and covid boosters. If people are vulnerable and concerned they need to isolate themselves away at this point, or send people a list of questions to see if they have any sort of illness (not just covid) because colds and coughs are rife.

betterangels · 07/11/2023 17:03

Go ahead - but tell people, so they can decide what they want to do. It isn't just a cold for everyone.

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/11/2023 17:04

No rules on covid now

Yes you can tell guests as polite

Some may not come but sure many will

I def wouldn't cancel my wedding though

Ours got cancelled twice in 2020 and 2021 and was heartbreaking but we had no choice as lockdown

Third time lucky and July 2021 tied the knot

ExtraOnions · 07/11/2023 17:06

I still test … mum is in a care home, with other vulnerable people, and I just want to be careful.

I would go ahead, but, if there is anyone who is clinically vulnerable, or immuno-compromised, I would just give them a heads up .. so they don’t try to hold him

IdleAnimations · 07/11/2023 17:08

Ace56 · 07/11/2023 13:29

No I wouldn’t cancel. Tbh I probably wouldn’t even tell the guests that your baby is positive…Covid is basically just a cold now.

Hard disagree on not telling people.

As a pregnant woman, I wouldn’t risk my health around covid sufferers and am shielding a lot at the moment. We also have family undergoing cancer treatment and some with weakened immune systems who should be able to make an informed choice. It’s still a huge risk to the elderly, even if vaxxed.

However, I wouldn’t cancel as some people are happy to risk it.

Hibiscrubbed · 07/11/2023 17:10

Tell no one.

Bpickle1 · 07/11/2023 17:30

I'm thoroughly amazed at how keen some people are to let covid ruin their lives even at this late juncture. - Obviously don't cancel your wedding because your baby has covid - goodness sake- if you have vulnerable people let them know about it and they can decide to attend or not or arrange alternative care for your baby. - Cancelling would be ridiculous

CostelloJones · 07/11/2023 17:44

I think it’s fine not to cancel if you are going to tell your guests and let them make and informed decision, as a guest I would be fine with that and most likely still go.

I would however be really annoyed if I went to a wedding, caught Covid and it turned out the bride and groom hadn’t told me when they knew.

GladWhere · 07/11/2023 18:54

I'd go ahead but I would definitely tell people.

Wendysfriend · 07/11/2023 19:50

Aww hope your lo is ok.

I think if it were me and the 'rules' were to ignore and carry on then I would, but I'd inform vulnerable people.

Where I live people with COVID have to isolate for 5 days or until a negative result. So it's easier to make decisions.

Your lo may test negative by Thursday and hopefully hasn't passed it on to yous before your big day.

My fil who suffers from Emphysema, tested positive after a Christening recently, unfortunately the positive person didn't inform anyone except his 2 DDS and they all kept quiet and went along. We are hoping and praying like crazy here that he'll be ok. It would have been fantastic for him to have been able to make the decision about attending knowing someone was positive.

Best of luck in your big day and enjoy.

Autumnvibes23 · 07/11/2023 19:59

Jaxhog · 07/11/2023 16:16

"Covid is basically just a cold now." - if only it was. Some of us more vulnerable people still get quite ill.

Even non-vulnerable people can be extremely ill in bed for 2 weeks plus.

Autumnvibes23 · 07/11/2023 20:09

Express0 · 07/11/2023 13:38

And a cold can do exactly that to some people. Ever heard of post viral fatigue? That’s what it was called before ‘long Covid’ became a thing

Show quote history

Long COVID is so much more than post viral fatigue. Lucky you if you don't know that.

Forsakenalmosthuman · 07/11/2023 20:44

Is anyone else reminded of when Victor Lewis Smith wrote off ME as yuppie flu?

" that terrible disease whose symptoms can so easily be mistaken for malingering, and which only seems to strike middle-class people, never third-world subsistence farmers."

Dacadactyl · 07/11/2023 20:47

Your colleague needs to shut up. If I were you, I wouldn't have even told anyone he had covid cos I wouldn't even have tested him for it.

And I certainly wouldn't be cancelling my wedding!

stayathomer · 07/11/2023 20:51

We’re all just getting over Covid, half HAMMERED with it, lethargic, headaches, bones aching, we were really worried about the youngest but as someone said, depending on how long he’s had it he might not still be contagious by then? Personally I’d tell people though so that can make a decision- Covid/any cold/flu could kill my mum who’s in hospital regularly (the year before covid started we had to stay away as we had a bug in the house)

stayathomer · 07/11/2023 20:53

Ps we wouldn’t have even thought to test if we hadn’t been so sick (the headaches were scary, throat horrendous and so lethargic with aching bones), people saying they wouldn’t test, it’s good to know what you have when you’re properly sick!!!

Lochness1975 · 07/11/2023 20:58

Let people know and let them make their own informed decisions.
Hope you have a lovely day!

Janiie · 07/11/2023 20:58

Are people aware that health care workers go to work even if they have covid, to hospitals full of vulnerable that is how low the risk is deemed to be nowadays.

Just don't test, carry on as normal have your ds there and have a nice time. Everyone vulnerable has been vaccinated now anyway.

loulouljh · 07/11/2023 20:59

Its a cold. Crack on and enjoy.

Janiie · 07/11/2023 21:02

If there was a test for flu would people take one once they had symptoms? No they'd stay at home if very ill or carry on as normal if not too bad. Covid is the same, we only have tests as there was a pandemic. Go by severity of symptoms not test results.

Zanatdy · 07/11/2023 21:03

I know 2 people who are in their 40’s and their life’s are ruined (at least currently) with long covid. I’m not saying cancel your wedding, but the comments trying to ridicule you for even contemplating it for a cold forget not everyone sails through covid. I’d probably be most worried about the elderly grandparents, and I’d definitely notify people. Then it’s their choice if to attend. As others have said though he may be non contagious by Thursday

WannaLiveInABubble · 07/11/2023 21:04

No i wouldn't cancel.

Whiteday · 07/11/2023 21:09

I wouldn't cancel, but not sure why you tested?

Keepingittogetherstepbystep · 07/11/2023 21:12

As a immunocompromised person, I'd say just let anyone who is potentially vulnerable know and they can make their own decision on whether to attend.

My 2 minute exposure to covid knocked me out for over 3 months and as I'm self employed took me out financially too. It's not just a cold for some people.

Notjustmesurely · 07/11/2023 21:29

Why are people still testing, and then telling people they have Covid, and then forcing “choices” upon them? Why do people think they need to cancel huge events or “give people the option” JUST BECAUSE ITS COVID? Would they be warning everyone if they had a cold, and be prepared to drop their kids out of their wedding or postpone altogether, for a cold? Or a chest infection, or tonsillitis or anything contagious? If a guest is vulnerable then it’s on their heads whether they come or not, regardless of whether they know someone there has Covid or not. I don’t see the point in telling people you have Covid. If you’re vulnerable, you’re vulnerable, people telling they have it doesn’t make you any more or less vulnerable, it just makes the person with it feel obliged to let them know, when they aren’t. I’d be more concerned about norovirus / vomiting type illnesses. Or you know rabies or Ebola.