Nursery staff comforting children

[Libmama]

Last week I returned to work from maternity leave. I work in a school nursery and we take children from the age of 3.

We currently have a little girl with Downs Syndrome and she loves to be carried around. She is none verbal but gestures and is beginning to learn some Makaton signs.

One of the senior leadership team came into nursery on Wednesday and observed the little girl with DS being carried across the room and two other members of staff sat doing activities with children on their knees.

We have now been told under no circumstances are we to carry any children or have them on our knee. Instead if they are upset we have to sit them next to us on the floor and comfort them.

I am appalled by this. In my opinion three year olds are still so so small and if they need a bit of adult comfort in the form on a cuddle or a carry etc then that is a basic need and us not being allowed to do that is not meeting that need.

Can anyone share how they’d feel about their children going to this nursery please. I’m trying to decide whether to kick off about it and stick to my instincts and what I believe in or to let it go.

The parents of the children haven’t been told about this new rule btw.

I AM being unreasonable- children at 3 don’t need physical contact to be comforted

I am NOT being unreasonable- children of 3 should absolutely be cuddled if they need it.

Safeguarding is one and in extreme cases cuddling could be seen as grooming

Oh ffs!

Well I'm glad they do it, its one of their methods of getting reluctant children to go to the dining hall, by making it more fun for them (another method is dragging on a blanket, which the children also love and is a favourite). Better than just telling them they have to go now whether they want to or not. These are older children though, the 4 and 5 year olds, not the under 3s - piggybacks for under 3s could be dangerous.

Id pull my child out. My 3 year old is a sensitive wee lad and I love that his nursery teachers give him a cuddle and let him sit on their knee when he's had a fall / is upset.

Dragging on a blanket?! Sounds really unsafe for children and staff and so unprofessional. They could make it fun by singing or doing different actions as they walk. Shouldn't pre schoolers be taught how to walk sensibly to the dining room in prep for school?

DS went to a nursery that was brilliant in baby and toddler rooms but refused to carry / cuddle him in preschool (official response was he’s too big - he was 50th centile for height and weight at the time) but then other mums who were able to visit said the nursery assistants were all hyperfocussed on 2-3 children with special needs: those children got all the attention and the easy going ones got nothing. I always wondered why DS would come home and latch onto me & then I realised it was because he wasn’t being held or cuddled or given any attention all day (he was fully potty trained by 2 & fed himself so minimal engagement).

I moved him to a pre-school setting in a private school and there was an immediate improvement. His teachers hug him, carry him, give him piggy backs and yet also know when to hang back to make sure they learn how to regulate themselves. I truly regret not moving him sooner

DC3 is globally delayed and has SEN. She throws herself at her teacher every morning for a hug (year 1 / nearly 6yo). Teacher hasn't said anything but I'm trying to make DC3 more aware of appropriate boundaries. Teacher is male and I'm worried about making him feel uncomfortable 😕

All other caregivers have been female, plus DC was obviously younger so it felt more acceptable to be tactile although I think EYFS is generally more touchy feely as I used to hug the TA.

They keep it as safe as possible, not too many children on the blanket and not too fast. I'm glad they do more physical things like this, I think it's important for children and beneficial to their development. They learn well enough how to walk sensibly once they start school, it doesn't take years to prepare for walking down a corridor.

The leader at the baby/toddler group we went to always cuddled my son- he ran to her with open arms every session.

his key worker at preschool was always hugging him and carrying him around- he has autism and adhd and gets extremely anxious-

his headmistresses at primary school also met him at the gate and gave him a cuddle every morning. Apparently she also hugged him every time she saw him all day (so she told me).