Who pays for the pizza?

[limefrog]

Me and DH hosted a few friends for fireworks last night and ordered takeaway pizza. This was part of the invite message we sent out, we said we'd be ordering pizza just before the fireworks.

My DH thinks that we should ask everyone who had pizza to pay for it.

I think that as we are hosting and they are our guests we should pay - we can afford it and it's not a very regular occurrence that we host things like this, so I just see it as treating our friends. Most of them brought some wine or cake etc to contribute anyway.

AIBU?

Or is my husband?

In this example you definitely pay for the food for your guests.

If you didn't want to cook or pay takeaway prices for pizza you should have bought them from the supermarket instead.

I would still return the money or at least offer to and ask for bank details.

You pay and return the money to the friends that paid.

If you invite guests over, you pay for the food. Either ingredients for the meal you cook or takeaway if you have chosen not to cook.

You pay, you are hosting

I think if he said come over I’ll order us some pizza and we can watch the fireworks then yes you should pay.

Your DH has certainly hit on a good way to cut your future entertaining costs - many of last night's guests won't return.

@limefrog if i was invited to someones house as they were ordering a pizza which it seems like how the invites were framed, I would assume I am being invited to share the pizza. I wouldn't think im being invited along to order my own?!

"I just passed my phone round and people added the pizza they wanted."

I know this isn't the point of the thread but you did what?!

How utterly rude to the takeaway on one of their busiest nights. Do people actually do this? Not only is it rude it muddied the waters somewhat wrt payment as everyone was choosing their own.

Christ what a tit your husband is. Have you considered leaving him? If you invite people over, feed them, then present them with a bill (and a card machine?), you will be heading for no friends, a grim reputation, and general ridicule.

You pay unless you specified otherwise on the invite

You can’t charge people after the event. Return the money to the person that paid and say there was a miscommunication and your dh took their money but you weren’t charging!
Next time, say if everyone wants to chuck a tenner in we’ll order pizza!

You host, you pay. Would you ask for money if it were a dinner party?

I think she means on the app, not by speaking to the takeaway.

But YANBU OP. The invitation implies you are paying - if he’d wanted people to chip in for the takeaway that needed to be made really clear.

You pay unless you specifically said in the invite that everyone needed to chip in.

I think unless you make it clear from the get go then yes you pay.

Between friends we quite often each bring something so the host isn't paying for everything and if we do pizza it's a oven job!

What a tight fisted mofo he is.

You should pay for the pizzas. Your husband must be a tight person!!!

I think this is maybe a male females dynamic

I can't imagine most men would be mortified to not correct a misunderstanding over the precise wording of a text

They'd all know that the man ordering the pizza on his phone is not the one paying for all his mates pizzas too.

You pay. Unless, you say it would be nice to catch up. We are happy for everyone to come to ours. Shall we buy pizza and everyone chip in? Then it gives people the option not to attend if they can't afford takeaway.

You should pay. If you wanted people to pay for their own you should have told them in advance then they would have had the option to bring alternative food if they didn’t want/couldn’t afford to pay for pizza.

Agree with majority that if you want payment you need to be upfront so people know what they’re agreeing to

if pizza was the planned dinner, and you’d just ordered it for everyone and it appeared, I’d expect you to pay. It would be like you cooking and feeding everyone. Part of the hosting deal.

But given the phone was passed round and everyone chose for themselves, I’d expect to split it. I can’t quite explain why this makes me feel differently - it just feels like they’re spending your money otherwise. I’ve done this plenty of times with friends.

if it had been a spontaneous decision (eg come round for drinks then someone mentions pizza) I’d definitely expect to split it

I think you should say to the ones who did pay - "oh dh & I had cross-wires, but pizza was supposed to be on us! Can I pay you back?"

Then they can't be miffed if they realise no-one else paid. I doubt they'll accept, but better to offer than risk them wondering why they were treated differently.

You ordered pizza instead of making food for them, it was part of your plan, not their, so you pay. They brought wine etc.

DH is treating it as if everyone got together randomly, or stayed long enough to get hungry again after your invited meal and suggested "will we get some pizza?" then they'd pay, if it was an unexpected and communal decision.