To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

🤷🏻‍♀️ people are all different. I wouldn't bother spending more than three and a half seconds worrying about anything Andrew Tate says, nor any of the online "incels" who follow him.

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

That sounds completely different to my experiences of what the women I know were like in their late teens/early 20's

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

I am 31 and this is not true for me or my friends, just goes to show everyone is different.

But what is a high body count? Who sets the number? Who asks? And more importantly, who cares?!

I’m 62. I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was in my early 20s. I’ve had four sexual partners in my life, the last of which was my DH of 33 years.

I couldn't give a shit how many people anyone has slept with.

But I'm late thirties and your experience doesn't resonate with mine at all or that of my friends. There were plenty of one night stands, FWB relationships etc when we were younger.

What you describe is nothing like what my friends were like in their late teens and 20s. But I'm older than you (mid 40s) and we were young in the 90s, when attitudes were different. We were definitely out clubbing and having a great time!

I wouldn't pay any attention to what Andrew Tate says though.

None of my friends met their husbands early 20s (if ever). And - not that its anyones business - but we've all slept with quite a few more than 3 people so...

Absolutely. Plus its no one elses business and the amount of people you have slept with has no bearing on anything else in your life.

very few of the women I know lived life like you suggested in their twenties or thirties.

but who cares really? It’s weird that men have an issue with it, that much I agree.

It seems like it would be a good idea to exaggerate how many people you've slept with if it puts off incel types. You'd be dodging a bullet.

Doesnt resonate with me either. Although ive slept with more people from the age of 38, i was less confident when i was younger. But everyone else was doing it ha. Good on them.

What a narrow view of the world you gave op.

My experience is nothing like yours, and I didn't lose my virginity til I was 18.

Say someone did the same, met their life partner at 38.
20 years, average of 2 guys a year, you do the math.

Totally opened this expecting it to be about dead bodies 🤣🤦

That's a male obsession. It's a way to make women think they have less value.

Andrew Tit's followers want more sex than they're getting no doubt, but judge women for having sex! So, they want women to have less sex but to be having it with them.

On what data are you basing your "most women" statement?

The women you know socially?

Was just thinking this. Any man who gives a toss about my body count isn't someone whose attention I want. Might start upping my number just so the trash takes itself out.

It's irrelevant. We shouldn't even be entertaining the idea that there is a "high body count" for women. Unless we're talking about a propensity for burying partners under the patio, that is.

I’m early 30s and your experiences don’t resonate with me or my friends either. Are you from a small town OP? No one I know settled down in their early 20s playing scrabble, far from it! Although I’m in London where lots of people in their 30s still haven’t settled down.

I would say there are lots of women with high ‘body counts’, yes, although nothing wrong with that and on average men will have slept with more people in their lives than women will!

I’m early 30s too and although I would fit into your description, all but one of my friends had much more colourful teens/20s than I did, I wouldn’t say women having only slept with a couple of people is the norm.

Another one here who can’t resonate with your experience, op.

I definitely wasn’t sitting at home with my boyfriend and a hot cocoa in my 20s and neither were any of my friends. We were having the time of our lives!

I don’t think it matters how many, it is quality that counts. So anyone who has Tate on their list needs to re assess their priorities when it comes to partners.

I’m 33 and my experience of being a teenager and in my 20s is absolutely not aligned with yours.

Me and my friends slept with quite a number of men. Often casually, sometimes friends, sometimes guys who we saw for a few weeks or months, a number of boyfriends etc

What counts as high though?

I think your experience sounds very... I don't really want to say "tame" but that'd the closest word I can think of.

I'm probably the same age as you and my experience of what was "typical" in my circle was more that people had a first girlfriend/boyfriend around 14-18 who you probably did have sex with. Got to college age, hooked up with people at house parties probably started having some one night stands maybe more casual relationships. Uni, you'd probably have some one night stands/ F.buddies and some relationships that sort of thing continued into our twenties.

I'm in my early thirties now and my friendship group are mostly with the same people we were at age 25ish with most people getting married now. (I got with my husband aged 21 and married at 24 but I recognise that's early for our age group)

So I don't think your idea of what's typical is necessarily what a majority of young women are like.

I don't think it matters how many people someone has slept with though, the only thing I'd care about regarding "body count" would be that the person I was sleeping with was safe and respectful, if they've had sex safely and respectfully with 100+ people I'd consider that person a better person than someone who is disrespectful and doesn't take sexual health seriously who had a much smaller "body count"