To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

Another one who doesn’t recognise what the OP has described.

Me and my friends had an absolute blast in our late teens/early twenties, and slept with whomever we wanted to.

Very few of us were in LTRs and we certainly didn’t prefer Scrabble over a good time 😂. I stopped keeping track of my ‘body count’ after a while and I still couldn’t be quite sure now what it is. I’d definitely need a couple of sets of hands and feet though 🙃

To be honest, I don't really understand why anyone would care or if a man did, he wouldn't want someone who'd had more than 3 or whatever.
I'm a lot better at it these days than when I first started!

In what way can you "see why a man may not like the fact that their potential wife has slept with more than 10 people"? As in, what is it about having more than 10 sexual partners would be off-putting, in your opinion?

Shakes head in bewilderment at missed opportunities

😂

But we did go to one of the town's church schools...

Why would any self respecting woman want to sleep with Andrew Tate?

Has anyone ever actually been asked their body count in real life? I def haven’t!

Shakes head in bewilderment at missed opportunities

What other reasons was there to frequent Brannigans? Except for their stated aims, IIRC, of drinking, dancing and cavorting.

Have you ever met any students?😂

But why are you paying the slightest attention to what a twat like Andrew Tate is saying?

Ha my ‘body count’ doubled on my gap year. Very very fond memories of my backpacking days… 😁

Or any of his minions. I'd rather sleep with an actual Minion.

If you average out across the population (and only include heterosexual people), then men and women must have on average exactly the same body count, because who are all these men sleeping with otherwise? The only way for most women have a lower count than men, is for a few women to have slept with an insane amount of men. This isn't really likely, at least not enough to affect the average significantly.

What's far more accurate is that "a high body count" is subjective. Ask 100 people what they'd consider a high body count, and you'll get 100 different answers. And if you ask a misogynistic man baby like Andrew Tate, the answer will likely be "Anyone who isn't me". Most men don't care how many people their partner has slept with, but the ones that do give a shit are the ones who'll be put off by any number higher than 3.

This leads to the second problem, incorrect reporting of figures. This is a topic that people lie about frequently, and usually in opposite directions. Men sometimes exaggerate their numbers, because its seen as a failing if a man isn't experienced, whereas women tend to reduce their true amount. As a result the impression is given that most men have slept with more women than vice versa, which as mentioned is a physical impossibility.

As a real life example, I'm 40, male. The number of women I've slept with is in the low 30s. (This isn't a brag by the way, my brother who has only slept with 2 women has probably had considerably more sex than me, given that all but 4 of mine were one night stands over an 8 month period while travelling abroad).
When me and DP first got together, we had a conversation about it. She asked me my number and I answered, had a conversation about longer term relationships. I then asked her and she didn't want to tell me. I said fine, I wasn't bothered, I'd only asked because she'd asked me first. 5 years later she told me, as part of a conversation about something on TV. That number that she'd been to ashamed to say was 1/3rd of mine. Despite the fact that she already knew mine and wasn't bothered by it, she still felt a sense of double standards over it.

In short, women sleep around just as much as men do, they're just less likely to bang on about it when they do, because they're likely to get judged for it.

Yeah, me and the friends I had a high school and university.

I wouldn't know or care who slept with who but I know most of my friends did not have 1 night stands or hook up with strangers. But we didn't sit in either, we were out clubbing all the time often flirting, kissing etc but sex was usually within relationships.

@TimeForTeaAndG

Personally, I'm not in the below 3 camp and it annoys me that it matters. But when I've spoken to other men about it, I can see the logic behind it.

In a nutshell, it has been explained to me something along the lines of this; Mens basic instinctual desire is to find a 'good' person to raise a family with and remain loyal to them. Men have no guarantee of paternity so tend to like non promiscuous women. To add to that, the more men a women has slept with, the higher the odds of poor marital satisfaction from the women so given women initiate divorce 75% of the time and tend to take the children and half the assets, men feel the need to increase the odds of a lasting partnership and proven paternity by choosing women who have slept with less men.

Obviously that is all very transactional but the men I've spoke to say it's more of a check list at the beginning of the relationship when vetting, like when women want to be with men that earn a certain amount or wants to buy a house and is responsible with money as this shows they can provide security, Thus, good option for raising a family.

I was a student for 6 years! I am not really paying attention to what he says I only read that article I just don't know any women who have these high body counts like the guardian article suggests!

It's as meaningless a number as how many people you've hugged, talked to, or the number of movies you've watched. People need to stop making out having sex is some weird sacred ritual.

Please don’t give that pond scum more air time.
How many people a woman has slept with is entirely personal and nobody else’s business but their own.

Huuuge high body count here! I'm not ashamed, young free and single in the mid to late 90s.

Single for most of my adult life, can't be bothered having brought up 2 adult kids.

I couldn't give a shit what incels or Andrew Tate think.

Average age of losing virginity is around 17/18.
Average age of marriage is 31.

I'm not sure what's typical in the interim, a couple of long term relationships 3-5 years? 3 or 4 short term flings? A couple of one night stands?

Is that a 'large' body count or not?

Ooh OP sorry I think you're wrong here.
It's very the times to sleep around. One night stands etc. I have to agree with the article that women tend to have high body counts these days.

The phrase body count - that's what is used for several or more people being killed.

I don't know perhaps it was just my particular social circle, same with my family no divorces at all, in fact I only know one family that divorced in my street when I was growing up other than that its not something I was really exposed to. Everyone in my family and circle of friends seemed to meet their other half by late teens, early 20's and stayed together.

I don't drink, although I experimented a bit with alcohol in my mid teens and I'm from a catholic but not especially devout background. Most of my friends are not religious.

Ha my ‘body count’ doubled on my gap year. Very very fond memories of my backpacking days…

I was always in a relationship 'back home' when I did serious travelling. Or I could have doubled mine only in hot Australians. Missed opportunities there.

I didn't know that term used for sexual partners until reading this. Lovely.

I had a great time at uni and yes we were out clubbing weekly