To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

I can agree with those averages but most people I know lost their virginity with their first long term boy/girlfriend who they might have split up with, not always then they met the next person and that is often it, they marry or stay with that person, have kids with them although they might not marry until 30ish.

This is the thing, the more sex I had the better I was at it. Better for me as in knowing how to get pleasure for myself and how to say what I wanted, and better at knowing how to please my partners too. And certainly the more experienced men among my, er, "body count" were the better lays too.

It's like everything in life. The more experience you have the better you are.

Have to say I don't know a single man who's really cared about a woman's body count. But maybe it's because the slightest hint of that primitive thinking made me filter them out of my social circle to start with.

Well I think it is fair enough to discuss a current article in the guardian.

The reason men have a higher body count that women is sex workers.

Well presumably as the total of the collective hetero mens body count is equal to the collective hetero woman's body count?

For every man who's slept with a woman, there is a woman who has slept with a man. Therefore difficult to see how the numbers would be any different?

It depends what 'average ' you are looking at though doesnt it? You are correct that the mean number of oartners must be the same, but in this context i think people are looking at a tyoical woman ie the meduan or mode. Once you discounting prostitutes for example who each have had thousands of partners- the mode value will be a lot lower

I slept with over 30 men in my teens and twenties and have two stretches of years with no sex, currently a decade and counting. If a man has a problem with either of these things, he wouldn't enjoy being with me and I wouldn't enjoy being with him. Having sex when and with whomever I wanted was great, except for the fact that many of the men were assholes about a woman approaching life as freely as them. Which made long-term (or even no strings attached/short-term really) relationships with them often disasters. Tate and his brothers would see this as proof that women shouldn't sleep around, while it's obviously proof that men need to learn that a woman's body is her own to do with as she pleases.

I am not being judgemental I don't mind a jot what other people do, my only proviso would be I hope everyone is having safe sex! Other than that everyone can crack on its just its not a pattern of behaviour I see playing out in any of the people I know at all. If you sense any judgement that is probably just internal paranoia.

I assume a lot of men just lie and say they have had more sex partners than they really have.

.....and actually a lot of men DO care about numbers when they are looking at wife material

Who cares about anything these scum think or say? YABU for giving it thought or airtime.

I was young in the 90s when I am led to believe promiscuity was at a high. Myself and most of my friends have had a few long term boyfriends we had sex with before we settled down. I did however know a number of girls at university who had a fair few one night stands! But I agree, it’s probably not the norm.

But overall I don't think most women have a "high body count" whatever the hell that actually is. Most women probably have a 2 or 3 long term boyfriends at most before getting married surely?

Yes, well. What Andrew Tate and these other incels need to remember is that they are incel for a reason. And that reason is that no woman with any sense would want to touch them with a bargepole, let alone shag them. Perhaps they ought to find out why that is, and sort themselves out.

This is a bit rich coming from a man who is a sex trafficking rapist and who makes a living by pimping women and exploiting teenage boys and inadequate men to join his 'hustlers academy'.

But those sex workers will have an extremely high body count, therefore bringing up the average female body count.

You can't get away from the maths that if we're looking purely at the hetero population, the male total across the whole population must be equal to the female total across the whole population

Who are these "most women" you keep going on about?

Good, I am glad to hear it, we should all be free to do what we want to do! I've just realised I'm quoting Screamadelica there 😂

Men like Andrew Tate are the reason why women tend to have a lower body count. I'd rather shag a sprig of holly on sandpaper.

Haven't read the article and barely know who Andrew Tate even is. That said, I don't think it's bizarre to want to know roughly how many people someone has slept with before you get serious or have sex with them. I'd be curious, as a woman, and expect I'd be less interested in a man who's slept his way through half the country than one whose experience more closely matches my own. The only problem I have with it is the double standard I suspect some people have regarding 'body count'. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

I agree that most women have 2 or 3 long term boyfriends before getting married but body count includes everyone you've had sex with, not just long term boyfriends.

Most women probably have a 2 or 3 long term boyfriends at most before getting married surely?

What's your source for that? And what does the source say about the number of partners "most women" have had for ONS or casual or short term boyfriends? @etchedowl

I suspect Andrew Tate's definition of a "high" body count is about 2.

"But overall I don't think most women have a "high body count" whatever the hell that actually is. Most women probably have a 2 or 3 long term boyfriends at most before getting married surely?"

So you think most men have only slept with 2 or 3 long term girlfriends and the rest of their sexual partners are ALL sex workers??!

I see no evidence of this anywhere outside the incel pocket of SM.

I’ve never even been asked mine by anyone, and I only know the count of one ex-lover because I happened to be his first! It’s just not something that is discussed in my circle.

But do you actually know anyone's body count? I've never discussed specifics of mine with my friends and certainly never bothered updating anyone. I'm sure no one including me could actually tell you my number.

There are certainly women I know who gave the impression of leading very tame lives full of quiet nights in. Turned out her nights in when she bailed on friends' nights out weren't so quiet. But then I myself did the whole "under the weather, early night for me!" routine before getting a booty call in several times.

Also have to point out that Scrabble and shagging are not mutually exclusive. Scrabble can be a surprisingly successful way of flirting...