To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

Men like Andrew Tate are why I've slept with more women than men.

He's vile

Depends how it's counted. Mean, you're right. Mode or median, would make it different.

I would not want to marry the kind of man who has such backwards views.

I can't think of any of my male friends who would care either.

@etchedowl your experience is your own and does not necessarily translate to the entire population! Many people have sex as teenagers, many have lots of sex at university, some people do get into a monogomous long lasting relation in their early 20s, others do not......

Absolutely! Men like Andrew Tate and his followers want you to be young and inexperienced because you’re easier to manipulate and have less to compare them to, so you don’t recognise or are more willing to accept their bad behaviour!! If you’ve dated around a bit, had a few different sexual experiences you’re probably far less willing to put up with being treated poorly and accepting crap sex that’s all focused on him.

You obviously didn't live in the 1970s ! 😂

Admittedly it is just my perception but this quote says

"According to YouGov, the average number of sexual partners for a person in the UK is a teeny, tiny FOUR. And that's an average, because it's actually three for women and five for men."

So I think that 3 sexual partners sounds about right and in line with what I've heard directly from most women I have encountered who would disclose such things to me and goes against the idea that most young women are having sex with dozens and dozens of men, not that I have any judgement about that, I just don't know where these incel men get their stats from.

Is that what it's called now, a 'body count'😂I thought this was either going to be a thread about BMI or murder 😂

Do they?
My DH has no idea how many people I've slept with and vice versa

But again that Yougov survey says the average number of sexual partners for a woman is only 3.

My experience is that since the 70’s most women have a pretty high body count, why not? And if men have high body counts who the fuck are they sleeping with if women have a low count?

They can care all they like. Doesn't mean their opinions hold any merit.
Men who say things like bodycount and wife material clearly aren't mature enough for marriage anyway.

I'd be interested in how average was calculated (mean/median/mode) and the kind of selection bias that would impact findings.

Who tends to answer yougov surveys?

Or because men brag about it and women feel the need to lie because of the opinions of pond scum like AT?

OMG same!!!!

Well of course it anyone's business isn't but looking online at a yougov survey it says the average number of partners a woman has in the UK is 3 which rather backs up my view.

3 is average? Wow… I really do have a high body count feels rather proud 😂

In my early 50s and my "body count" is high, every woman is different and you really shouldn't be relying on anecdata in any case. I also don't give a fluff about what Andrew Tate et Al have to say.

I don't know but its probably a better average than just my or your personal opinion.

I'm not sure how I feel about settling down with a partner who is overly promiscuous. I suspect many of us would see someone who had been with 100s of partners as a red flag. But setting 3 as a definition of a high number seems ridiculous.

Croydon in the 90s was wild. You missed out 😁

You know that game six degrees of separation where you can connect 2 celebrities in only 6 moves using the partners/people they've slept with?

Well, depending on OneTC and MrsTerryPratchett ages, I reckon we can play that game and probably have mutual "acquaintances". 🤣🤣

So between people you know and a survey you think that's representative of most women?

It just seems a little goady to come on a site predominantly visited by women from vastly different walks of life and proclaim that. I can't figure out if you're being antagonistic or naïve.

How many women were surveyed, of what ages? How was the average calculated? How were they surveyed, in what context?

Past the age of about 18, who cares how many consenting partners a person has had? I don't know my husband's, he doesn't know mine, I don't care.

And the phrase 'body count' is absolutely horrible. Borrowing a phrase from mass murder to - let's face it - shame women for the amount of people she's slept with.

When I was 19 one of the girls in my friendship circle reckons she was up to 100! She was a few years older mind and weve now lost touch. It doesn't make her less deserving of love and its crazy anyone would think that!
The average for women is 3 I'd expect to include a lot of older women with 1 partner perhaps? Women my age (mid 30s) I reckon 10 or so is more typical? My number is lower but I got together with DH when I was 20 so theres been nobody else since him. I was also a virgin till 18 so not much wild time in-between!

I had a very different experience.

I lost my virginity at 18 and had intimate relationships with a few other people after that.

the sex was very very underwhelming and at that point I figured that it probably was me / that I was somehow not made for good sex (instead of realising that I had incredibly selfish partners!!). It just didn’t feel like it was worth the effort.

I only really got back to liking and enjoying intercourse after a drunk hook-up at 26!
had a few more encounters and a lot of fun after that.
got together with my SO about 2 years later.

Anyhow. Body count etc is completely irrelevant imo. What matters is mutual respect, trust and safety.
and - especially for teens and young women - good sex ed, resources about (female) pleasure and having somebody to talk to.