To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

Well I'm 54 and I had a whale of a time in my late teens and twenties thanks but we're all different and there's no 'virtue' in having slept with fewer people - ffs 'body count'! - who cares? As long as it's consensual and safe I don't understand what anyone would care?

I actually do fit your description - early 30s, met now DH final year at uni, had one serious relationship and a few flings before that. I am definitely in the minority amongst women my age. I was engaged at 23, married at 24, pregnant at 25, and I'm the outlier. This seems really unusual for my generation and most women I meet between 25-40s.

Why does it matter?

Unless you plan to have them all at the same time ... but that's another thread.

Not mine or my friend's experience but so what, it's nobody's bloody business how many people anyone has slept with, least of all some dodgy incel.

I'm 30 and the 'body counts' really vary for my group of friends.

*Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!*

I know women who had this experience and women who had the opposite and all sorts in between.

Your experience isn't invalid of course, but it's mind-boggling that just because it's the norm for you, you think it's the norm for "most" women. Other experiences exist.

Everyone should say they've spent with hundreds of men. Sounds like a brilliant way to avoid dating AT fans. [genius]

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

You're married. Which means you aren't dating. Which means you aren't who AT is talking about. Because he's talking about dating women. By definition those women would be single and therefore more likely to be sleeping with different men.

I think it can be quite common for a woman to have a high number -- certainly more than Tate's three. I'm way higher and I spent a couple of decades in a monogamous relationship.
Tbh, I loved that article. I'm mid-forties now, dating again and having a marvelous time fucking around. Sex is one of life's greatest natural pleasures and I intend to do a lot of it.
The idea that Andrew Tate would be shocked and disapproving amuses me enormously.

I can’t say that any of my friendship group bar one have had a similar experience to yours OP. I’m late 20’s.

I'm late 30s. I and many women I know have done a lot of shagging. A lot. Quite a few also haven't.

I'm married now so obviously not still roaming, but I have friends my age who are and many of my colleagues younger than me. Lots of people have lots of sex.

Tinder and its friends have made it extremely easy to find casual sex. One of my friends usually has multiple shag partners on the go.

I don't actually know what my number is. I don't recall all of them as it's not relevant to my day to day life. I've just made a list. I can recall 17. I'm certain there's more. Tbh I'm more concerned about my poor memory recall than how many knobs I've seen.

I'll be honest, I have come across many women who have slept with more than 20-30 people, especially at UNI.

I do think the 'red pill' community are extreme but I can see why a man may not like the fact that their potential wife has slept with more than 10 people.

Personally wish I'd slept with fewer people and settled down younger, not that I've ever been a one night stand girl, but looking for love in my twenties that was just how it went at the time. By some people's standards it's probably not that high but I am really not interested in measuring myself against 'the norm'. Norm/average doesn't mean better.

Scrabble? Really?

Who cares and WHY are you giving Andrew Tate attention???

I have lost count of the number of men I've had sex with. Is that a high body count?

What if you’ve lost count? Or didn’t count? How am I to know what value the mighty Andrew Tate might put on me? Oh, such a worry - well, it might be, if he wasn’t a misogynistic dick wipe.

You definitely didn't grow up in Croydon

I'm in my late 40s and most of my female peer group during my 20s in London were out partying most weekends with a fair a bit of shagging/one night stands thrown in for good measure. I'm a bloke and when dating I could not give a shit about a womans 'body count' (grim expression) so long as it was safe sex and there was no cheating. I seem to recall the odd bloke back then expressing the double standard of morality about how many people a man had slept with (stud) compared to women (slut) and they were usually laughed out of the room. Personally I would have found it very odd if I was dating someone in their late 20s/early 30s who had only had sex with a few people.

"Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!"

I do find the description of being "snuggled up with your boyfriend or husband" and "single women sitting in together" kind of sad and centred around hetronormitive romantic relationships being something to strive for that it also comes across a but misogynistic.

Like the options are: stay in with a man, go out and find a man, or stay in with other single females (because no men were available).

Did you not know any women who were out together for fun without caring about men at all?

And me! Personally, I wouldn't give that tosser any head space at all. Best ignored.

Why are they so bothered? Men are weird.

@NotSuchASmugMarried

Apparently so.
So according to the 'red pill community' if you're now married you have an 80% chance of being unhappily married, as opposed to somebody who'd slept with less than 3 people who would only have a 15% chance of being unhappily married.

<nods knowingly>

me to. I know very few women who did this, OP must live somewhere where women don't get out much!

Because they're shit in bed and don't want you to notice? It's the only really logical explanation.