SIL’s Restaurant Choice-not sure what to say/do?

[HamBone]

This is a very first-world dilemma, but I’d welcome opinions on how to handle this.

Thanksgiving is coming up here in the US and we’re having a family get-together with DH’s side. Yesterday, DH told me that one of his sister’s wants to arrange a meal out to a specialist restaurant that weekend and I’ve just taken a look at the menu. Its’s very limited and I can’t see a single item that I’d like to eat. DS won’t be keen either. We’re not fussy eaters at all, but there’s nothing available that we’d want to pay for. Plus, it’s not particularly cheap.

How should I approach this with SIL? I think that she wants to try this restaurant and likes the idea of arranging a family outing, but it’s daft to waste money on food people don’t want. Will we be party poopers if I gently say that it’s not to our tastes, but we’re happy for everyone else to go and we’ll see them later?

I feel bad about this though. ☹️

I’d probably just go, assuming you can afford it. How old is DS, can you take him a little lunchbox?

I think unless there is a good reason not to go, not fancying anything on the menu (really, nothing?!) seems a bit of a weak excuse.

If you are happy with the idea of going out could you suggest somewhere else? Blame DS not eating it.

If you aren't fussy, what is it about the menu that puts you off?

I think I'd probably be polite, let the sister arrange it and go along. How limited is it really? I'm a bit of an awkward diner, but I've never been anywhere that couldn't make something I was happy to eat - I just have to be prepared to be dealt with like a real pain when I order if I need to ask for tweeks (because I realise I am!).

I wouldn't go just because she wants to, why should you? It's not her birthday, where you'd prioritise her preference. This is for all of you to enjoy, especially if it's pricey, so I'd keep it breezy, not make a big deal about it but nip it in the bud now. Like 'Nice thought but just looked and it's not our kinda thing and too expensive so let's find somewhere else for Thanksgiving and you can do that another time. Thanks for understanding." and if it's helpful suggest a few places you'd like that are more affordable. These things have to be agreed between you, not imposed.

If I didn't want to go I'd just tell her why.

But I probably would go as I'm not a fussy eater either, so there would be something I'd want to eat.

DS is 15 so can’t do a lunchbox.

I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s very specialized, 12 items on the menu, all seasoned, nothing plain. If I could order a bowl of soup or a plate of chips, for example, I’d be happy to go (and eat more else later!) but there’s nothing like that.

I think she wants to try this particular cuisine, but hadn’t considered that others might not be so keen.

I just realised it's your DH's side of the family.

How does he feel about not going and if he's happy not to, why not let him tell them?

It doesn't sound like you're not a fussy eater tbh
Yabu but just meet them after

God I hate going to places where there's nothing I want.
What's on the menu OP? I'd just tell her, sorry, nothing DS and I can eat here, I'll duck out of this one.

If you're not fussy eaters at all (as you claim in your OP) then there must be something on the menu you can eat. Unless you have dietary restrictions (vegan, gluten free etc) which naturally limits your choice to one or 2 things and you don't like either of them.

But if it's not arranged yet, then you've got nothing to lose by sharing your opinion. Along with alternative suggestions that might work better for you.

But it sounds like you ARE fussy eaters! Who would want to go to a restaurant where nothing is seasoned?

What kind of cuisine is it?

May we have a link to the menu?

It's always disappointing when there's nothing your really fancy eating!

I'm.sure you could ask for your dish to be plain. It does seem a waste of good money though to go somewhere that you don't really want to. I would speak to your sil and be honest.

Just seen your update. There are 12 things on the menu, and the issue is that they are 'seasoned'. Contrary to your OP, if you can't eat one of 12 things on offer then you are indeed a fussy eater!

You sound incredibly fussy! Can’t you go, order something small and then have a nice dinner afterwards?

Tbh if you're reluctant to go because everything is seasoned and nothing is plain that does sound a little fussy to me. Sorry.

Not saying there's necessarily anything wrong with being fussy btw. But barring actual dietary requirements it may be best to try to compromise here

We need the menu, OP. Either way, just say you'll give it a miss.

If it is a specialist cuisine like an Indian Restaurant and you don't like spicy food then I can see what you mean....

However I would still go and give it a go, widen your horizons and all that!

I don't think it's a matter of being a fussy eater. You should enjoy what you're eating if you're paying a lot and it's meant to be a treat. You shouldn't have to suck up someone else's niche taste and be deemed fussy for not doing.

I too would like to see the menu out of sheer curiosity

And if it turns out all 12 dishes are seasoned with coriander then you are being entirely reasonable

I don't like seafood and if someone suggested a seafood restaurant in this situation I'd be fine to say no thanks, let's go somewhere with more choice for everyone.

There must be ONE THING on the menu that you'll eat. Just go.

His sil sorry that place is a bit out of our budget. We could meet after the meal for drinks?. Love op and dh...

Why can't people just admit they are skint or it isn't appealing?

Can you post the menu?