Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think someone must be able to do something - part 3

615 replies

PurpleLampShades · 01/11/2023 09:09

I never thought I’d be needing to start a third thread but here we are. The first two threads have been a great source of support for me so I’m going to carry on.

First Thread
Second Thread

Long story short - DS (17) has been in a “relationship” with a woman 11 years older than him that I believe started when he was 15, though I have no proof as they deny it. This has been going on since at least March 2022. SS, the police and the DSL at his college have all been involved and things from that front have been pretty much exhausted. He has been on CIN and early intervention plans, been visited/spoken to by the police, offered workshops, counselling, contact centre etc. The main stumbling blocks are DS’s refusal/inability to recognise the abusive and toxic situation he is in and the resulting refusal to engage with services to extract him from it.
She is abusive, manipulative and extremely controlling. She has isolated him almost entirely from friends, family and hobbies. She is destroying his self esteem, confidence and self-worth. She controls his phone, who he speaks to, where he goes, what he does. I know she has slapped him around the face more than once and was seen to put her hand around his throat while they were kissing once. I don’t know if there are other incidents like that. The remaining protective factor is that he is still managing to attend college, although attendance is a bit of a concern.

I am at the point of not really knowing what to do now. I feel like I’ve lost him.

OP posts:
Munchyseeds2 · 24/03/2025 21:35

I am another who thinks of you often
I hope and 🙏 things are better now x

IHateLegDay · 12/04/2025 20:36

It’s been a long time since we’ve heard from you. I really hope you’re ok

coffeestrongblacknosugar · 13/04/2025 13:07

IHateLegDay · 12/04/2025 20:36

It’s been a long time since we’ve heard from you. I really hope you’re ok

I have been thinking the same, I hope purple is ok, I think of her often and wish her son home safely

SauvignonBlancLady · 13/04/2025 18:09

IHateLegDay · 12/04/2025 20:36

It’s been a long time since we’ve heard from you. I really hope you’re ok

Same, I really hope they’re all ok

Dancingonaslice · 27/05/2025 18:40

Still thinking of you and your boy purple

Threestripesswoosh · 27/05/2025 19:16

Me too, but I read somewhere that she may have replied on another thread saying the situation was a little better. I didn’t see that comment, but like to think it’s the case.

Dancingonaslice · 28/05/2025 22:21

Oh I hope that was her if so - that would be amazing for them both

SaladSeeker · 20/06/2025 19:56

Thinking of you @PurpleLampShades and hoping things are a bit better. I think it's been nearly a year since you last posted but lots of us think of you often.

SuffolkUnicorn · 20/06/2025 22:59

We do think about you purple please update us when you feel ready

IHateLegDay · 21/06/2025 01:02

Another one thinking of you often! I hope all is better!

RobinStrike · 22/06/2025 15:21

@PurpleLampShadesanother one thinking of you often over the last year. I really hope your son is back with you. Sending love.

DollyPinkDaydream · 22/06/2025 16:18

I often check in and hope that the situation has improved for you. I really hope it has…

BookArt55 · 22/06/2025 17:00

Sending you hope, really want you to have good news. You and your son often pop into my mind. Everything crossed for you and I am hoping that no news from you is good news.

dutchyoriginal · 22/06/2025 19:57

Sending you and your son love and support

lbnblbnb · 04/08/2025 22:36

@PurpleLampShades I am thinking of you and hope things are better. My son is a similar age to your son.

Battyasfeck · 05/08/2025 07:51

I’ve been really hoping that no news is good news. Also thinking of you often.

humpty74 · 08/08/2025 11:54

Another one here that thinks of you and your son often, I hope things have improved x

Thedogscollar · 22/09/2025 12:49

Hi Purple.
How are you? Like many I've been here since thread 1.
I hope the situation has improved I really do. X

TeddySchnauzer · 22/09/2025 16:44

I’m probably not alone in saying that I’m worried for you now, Purple. I do hope you’re ok 💜

ForGladGreen · 22/09/2025 20:34

another poster who thinks of you often and hopes things are better x

IHateLegDay · 14/10/2025 00:55

Thinking of you tonight OP. I really hope no news is good news 🤞

Battyasfeck · 17/10/2025 07:48

The last time the OP posted was well over a year ago (July 24). I really REALLY hope everything is ok with her and her son.

TeddySchnauzer · 18/10/2025 19:11

Battyasfeck · 17/10/2025 07:48

The last time the OP posted was well over a year ago (July 24). I really REALLY hope everything is ok with her and her son.

Me too, it’s worrying isn’t it?

Dancingonaslice · 22/10/2025 13:56

Isn’t it more likely (hopefully) that OP is just getting on with her life? And doesn’t feel the need to to update MN

Battyasfeck · 22/10/2025 19:43

I really hope that’s the case. But equally, I think she knows that so many of us were rooting for her… I just got the feeling she would want us to know of what I desperately hope is a happy outcome. And the fact there is no update makes me worried for her and her son. But then again, it’s the internet and you never really truly know . If you’re out there OP, all the best and I hope you’re ok.