Am I overly kind or is this normal behaviour

[sellingupslow]

Just came back from pumpkin picking with DC3.

Parking was a muddy field type, parked where I was told.

When leaving, I got seriously stuck in the mud. Tractor came to assist. I had to screw in a tow bar thing (attached) so that the tractor could pull me out. Managed, all ok and he tried pulling me out forward, didn't work, so asked me to unscrew and put in on the back of the car so he could pull me out backwards.

Farmer was turning his tractor around so I was trying by myself to unscrew but I couldn't.

I proceeded to ask a passer by who was on his way to the pumpkin patch

Me- "excuse me, don't suppose you could try giving me a hand, I need to unscrew this so the tractor can get me out the mud" (all said with a smile and in a kind polite tone

Him- stares at me and continues walking away

Me - "I'm just struggling to get it out myself and wondered if you might be able to"

Him - "what exactly do you want me to do, if you can't get it out, why should I" and walks away completely.

He was with his partner/wife and daughter (maybe 7/8). AIBU to feel sad that this is the example he was setting his daughter or is that how most people would have reacted?

I know he had no obligation to help and was well within his right to not help, but if it were me and I simply didn't WANT to help, I would have made up some excuse 'sorry I hurt my hand and don't think I'll be much help' so I didn't look rude!

If you just want to walk away or ignore someone asking for help then that doesn’t entitle you to respect. I think a perfect response is to keep asking and make them articulate that no I actually won’t help. Which will have made him much more uncomfortable than just letting him walk away. A point scored for standards personally.

If you’re all about manners why are you recommending berating an adult to elicit a response. Getting a person purposefully flustered to satisfy your need to get a response. To quote the great mn quip NO is a complete answer . Being a boorish over bearing bully by keeping asking is not a point scored for standards. Such hectoring is indicative of poor behaviour and insensitivity , now these may be your so called personal standards,but as a behaviour it’s lacking and rude. Makes one question your so called standards.

OMG I think I’ve got it!

Sadly I think with an attitude like his he probably does.

My guess is he does! The nasty guy will come out when the wife and or child push his buttons. My Nan used to say watch how a man treats others because that’s eventually how he’ll treat you when familiarity sets in. Or words to that effect!

Terribly rude behaviour, but sadly I am seeing more and more of this now.

I’m invoking munsnet No is a complete sentence and the man declined to hoik a car out a ditch.
As a result mn sofa psychiatrists have him diagnosed as
bad un
rotter to his family & child
all that’s wrong with society
The recommendation partner should is leave him
He deserves his nuts cut off

utter mumsnet indignation

Exactly, and she didn’t even need helping!

maybe he didn’t hear you properly the first time, or maybe, which I suspect would be obvious to anyone, he didn’t want to get all his clothes shit up while out for a nice day with his family? What a fucking monster..

some people just don’t like being told no, op is clearly one of those people that’s why instead of brushing it off seeing as it didn’t matter whether he ‘helped’ her or not, she’s here posting about it to MN, like she’s been massively wronged even though she had more help then she needed.

I really don’t understand why you’d rope strangers into getting dirty when you had someone helping you already anyway, I wouldn’t dream of putting anyone out in that way unless I really had to.