to run for the hills from this guy

[Amysunsure]

This year will be my first Christmas with DP, who I’ve been seeing for about 10 months. Everything has been going great, we get on amazing, met each other’s families, and have been on holiday together not long ago. We even talked recently about moving together in around a years time if things carry on going well. My colleagues have been saying how much happier I’ve looked this year and I know it’s all because of him.

except this past few days I have felt things might be about to crash down around me, and I honestly do not know what to do and I’m here for some advice.. I feel so upset, but don’t know if I’m overreacting,

DP and me are both huge fans of Christmas, and earlier in the week we were at his place, listening to Christmas songs (lol yes I know, in October) , talking about our favourites songs,
he was playing me a playlist he had put together.

I was horrified when the Gary Glitter song “another rock ‘n’ roll Christmas” started playing. As a child of the 80s, this one would always come on around Christmas time, but obviously very abruptly stopped when things were revealed about him.

I told DP to turn it off, and he asked why??! I said I’m not listening to any music by him, do you not realise what he did??

DP reply by saying “yes, I know, I feel very guilty saying this, but it is a good song isn’t it!! I don’t see why I should stop listening to the song!“

I literally stopped in my tracks and said to him, what do you think of what GG did? He said “well he’s disgusting, obviously, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a good tune.”

so I have gone from feeling on top of the world and feeling like I had met the person I saw a future, to I don’t know if I can carry on being with him! All in the space of a couple days!

am I crazy to think of ending things with him over this?

Please be kind, I’m upset!

Yeah that would be crazy. It's just a song.

I'm the same about Lost Prophets, loved that band, continuously on my playlist but I cant stomach singing along any more.

This should probably have an AIBU poll

I can understand why you feel like that, but there are so many instances of this. Gary Glitter unfortunately produced some excellent music. Rolf Harris painted some excellent pictures etc etc.

Liking the song does not condone the actions of the performer IMHO.

I find myself singing along to R Kelly if I hear it, although he's a vile rat. If my DH wanted a divorce over that I'd find it really strange.

You are being completely irrational.

Yanbu.

Kindly - is this the only thing wrong with the relationship? As others have said it is perfectly possible to divorce the art from the artist, it's not as if listening to the song further perpetuates abuse on his victims. I am finding it hard to believe you are doubting the whole relationship based on this one thing without there being other red flags lurking somewhere.

When it comes down to it then it's up to you to have your boundaries wherever you have them and I'd this is the hill you want to die on with regards to the relationship then rip.off the plaster and dump him, but I don't think I'm alone in considering it something of an overreaction in my opinion. Since you asked...

I came to the conclusion that if we were to ban all artists or scientists who’d committed unsavoury crimes, there’d be a lot less art/ music/literature or science including inventions and medical advances.
Of course, not all of them have been convicted like GG has. Personally I wouldn’t want to be doing anything that would profit him, eg downloading music that would pay him royalties.
Maybe have more of a discussion about this with your bf - does he consider the crimes not serious enough to warrant a voluntary ban? Where does he draw the line? Where do you draw the line? What other things do you draw the line for?

YABU. It's actually a fairly normal opinion, people still listen to MJ. You're overreacting a lot I think, but at the end of the day if that's how you feel and you can't like him any more because of it then that's your opinion.
Just to emphasise though - he is neither a paedophile or a supporter of paedophilia just because he likes that tune.

I think it feels more horrible because it's recent. A lot of artists and musicians in the past were probably horrible people but you don't know about it so don't have to worry about whether it's ok to enjoy their art.

I think it's a personal decision tbh, if you don't want to listen to the music that's your choice and if your DP does, don't judge him. It's not as if he's trying to argue it wasn't that bad, or something like that.

Being very unreasonable you are

Yabu

YABU. I know how you feel but this really shouldn't be an issue. As another ouster has said, we should be able to separate the artist from the art. It's not always that easy, and I understand that, but you can't expect him to have exactly the same feelings as you about it, and you shouldn't t try to guilt him in to it,
If he made a statement about GG which was supportive or said his crimes weren't serious or some such, I'd say run for the hills,
You've found someone to listen to Christmas music with you in October ffs, you freaks are few and far between; you need to stick together,

YABU and a bit controlling.

My mum has a Gary Glitter track as her ring tone... it was in the film 'The Joker', and she liked it.

You can separate the artist from their art.

I can understand why you are upset but to leave an otherwise wonderful relationship over this, is I think OTT.

I think the art should be separated from the artist. There are endless examples and we cannot banish them all (much though we may like to).

i think a fair compromise would be to discuss this with your boyfriend and explain that for you it is not ok to listen to, however he obviously feels differently but that you’d like him not to play/listen to it out load when you are present as you don’t want to listen to it.

YANBU. Suprised so many people think you are. As above I used to love LP. Could not listen to it now, how could i without thinking about what he did.

But what about the other members of the band, who committed no crime?

He doesn't earn money from the tracks, there was a court ruling so the glitter band didn't lose out. Elvis had a thing for fourteen year old girls, the stones and Bowie used drugs with and shagged thirteen year olds (Chrissy Hyde defended them), Pete Townshend out the Who had child abuse images. John Lennon was ableist, a DV abuser and a all round prick. Adele resents paying tax. It would be never ending and we'd end up listening to very little.

You've found someone to listen to Christmas music with you in October ffs, you freaks are few and far between; you need to stick together,
😂😂😂

He sold the publishing rights decades ago, but will still get a small amount from streaming if he is registered with SoundExchange. I don't fully understand how it works as it's complicated, and I believe different countries have different rules.

Streaming hardly generates any money though, even for popular artists.

I personally cannot read Sci fi by an author that was revealed to be a pedophile. It didnt bother my husband. We agree to disagree on the point. People are allowed to have different views. I think marriage might be a little dull if your views on everything were exactly the same.

I get what you feel but it's the same about Nazi music, for example Wagner
I personally wouldn't listen to Glitter as it's quite recent but not a reason to leave someone if they don't ascribe to his filfth

@Firsttimemum120 I read your post in Yoda’s voice 😂😂😂