to run for the hills from this guy

[Amysunsure]

This year will be my first Christmas with DP, who I’ve been seeing for about 10 months. Everything has been going great, we get on amazing, met each other’s families, and have been on holiday together not long ago. We even talked recently about moving together in around a years time if things carry on going well. My colleagues have been saying how much happier I’ve looked this year and I know it’s all because of him.

except this past few days I have felt things might be about to crash down around me, and I honestly do not know what to do and I’m here for some advice.. I feel so upset, but don’t know if I’m overreacting,

DP and me are both huge fans of Christmas, and earlier in the week we were at his place, listening to Christmas songs (lol yes I know, in October) , talking about our favourites songs,
he was playing me a playlist he had put together.

I was horrified when the Gary Glitter song “another rock ‘n’ roll Christmas” started playing. As a child of the 80s, this one would always come on around Christmas time, but obviously very abruptly stopped when things were revealed about him.

I told DP to turn it off, and he asked why??! I said I’m not listening to any music by him, do you not realise what he did??

DP reply by saying “yes, I know, I feel very guilty saying this, but it is a good song isn’t it!! I don’t see why I should stop listening to the song!“

I literally stopped in my tracks and said to him, what do you think of what GG did? He said “well he’s disgusting, obviously, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a good tune.”

so I have gone from feeling on top of the world and feeling like I had met the person I saw a future, to I don’t know if I can carry on being with him! All in the space of a couple days!

am I crazy to think of ending things with him over this?

Please be kind, I’m upset!

Are you looking to self sabotage here? Seems like it from the outside!

YANBU for disliking the song, but you ABU for wanting to finish with him over it.

Yeah you're being stupid. If you looked into the meaning behind a LOT of well known songs, and who sung them, very few of these people are / were angels.

Its just a song. You seem to be trying to sabotage your relationship. He should be the one who runs from you if you are that nit picky.

am I crazy to think of ending things with him over this?

Yes you are. It is a song, that's all.

The response suggest YANBU to end the relationship. There are some people where you can separate the unpleasant views of someone from their music, but not Gary Glitter, or indeed Ian Watkins (the one who was in Lost Prophets).

Who was that? Must have missed this or is it a quiet secret?

For all those saying Michael Jackson wasn’t ever convicted, neither was Jimmy Saville

End it, you are too sensitive and high drama for this relationship.

Strange reason to want to win a good relationship.
Of course he likes the song not the antics of the singer.
You will find you will begin to differ and have your own opinion which is great.

Some people are able to separate the art from the artist, others aren't. But I wouldn't leave an otherwise good relationship over this.

I can no longer listen to Sam Smith but wouldn't fall out with anyone who does.

You're being dramatic BUT he should have respected your feelings enough to switch it off.

Wasn't that all dismissed? Asimov was a groper by all accounts, but I thought all the Clarke stuff was disproved.

Bit extreme reaction.

I listen to R Kelly and Michael Jackson.

My Partner watching the Jimmy Saville programme the other day.

I couldn't stomach it, it would be too disturbing. I wouldn't leave him because of it.....

Calm down love

Do you do this to all artists?

Yabu.

No don't run for the hills.

Stay in the valley and carry on with this sensible guy.

Honestly you come over as a drama queen. And a bit immature.

If we were never to enjoy art, literature, music, because the person behind it had done something wrong, we'd be left with next to nothing.

For example, should people not read Dickens because he was unfaithful to his wife? Or other great artists, writers and musicians who took drugs, were addicts, wife beaters, you name it?

Yes, run for the hills OP. You’ll be doing him a massive favour. You’re being completely ridiculous. I dread to think how you’d react if he genuinely did something wrong.

It has. If you look carefully both accusations were all about getting money, nothing else.

It's difficult. If you were to apply this to all art, you'd end up cancelling half the great composers and artists whose behaviour didn't match modern standards of propriety.

I'm in the 'retain and explain' camp. Because the alternative is a Maoist, statue-toppling rabbit hole.

YABU to leave someone over a difference of opinion. He's hardly endorsing anyone's actions, is he?

Yabvu and controlling

If he has a GG shrine, then I would say run for the hills, but really? This cannot be for real.

Talk to him about how you feel, don't hide it, but you are over reacting @Amysunsure
He can listen to what he likes so ask him not to play and Michael Jackson, R Kelly, Boy George, Rolf Harris, Prophets etc in your presence.

It's awful that these deviants had musical air time, but they did.

I really try hard not to play any of them. GG is an absolute no no for me, he was a creepy looking man when he found fame and as a child, he gave me the ick, but I do succumb to a bit of MJ and R Kelly ocassionally.

If you go down this road, it leaves out a lot of music, art, literature etc

If you are serious about this though, you will have to thoroughly investigate everything you have an interest in, just to make sure.

Technically, I would argue it rules out watching anything on the BBC since they have harboured several dodgy TV presenters.

You could go one step further and do some sleuthing on every single person who has had a hand in making a movie for instance, not just the producer, director and so on. That will keep you busy!

Start Googling anything you are into and you may be in for a surprise!

If this becomes a break-up with your partner, you will have to have this conversation from Date 1 with a new man to ensure you are on the same page. No point in investing in a relationship only to break up over a pop song that's played once a year.

YABU.

Have you any idea how many very, very talented artists and musicians were abusers and/or racists/misogynists?

Charles Dickens was extremely cruel to his wife, and had her confined to an asylum.
William Golding tried to rape a 15 year girl.
Norman Mailer tried to kill his own wife.
Ezra Pound was racist.
Virginia Woolf was an antisemite.
V.S.Naipaul was a misogynist.
Caravaggio was involved in several violent attacks, and murdered a man.
Picasso was a misogynist.
Gaugain had sex with teenage girls.
Edward Hopper was a violent abuser to his wife.

And that’s just a tiny sample.

I had no idea that song was by Gary Glitter. but anyway yabu - I mean what exactly are you suggesting? Your partner is ok with paedophiles because he enjoys an ancient tacky Christmas song? I’m listening now and it is quite good. Gary Glitter however should be mulch.