to run for the hills from this guy

[Amysunsure]

This year will be my first Christmas with DP, who I’ve been seeing for about 10 months. Everything has been going great, we get on amazing, met each other’s families, and have been on holiday together not long ago. We even talked recently about moving together in around a years time if things carry on going well. My colleagues have been saying how much happier I’ve looked this year and I know it’s all because of him.

except this past few days I have felt things might be about to crash down around me, and I honestly do not know what to do and I’m here for some advice.. I feel so upset, but don’t know if I’m overreacting,

DP and me are both huge fans of Christmas, and earlier in the week we were at his place, listening to Christmas songs (lol yes I know, in October) , talking about our favourites songs,
he was playing me a playlist he had put together.

I was horrified when the Gary Glitter song “another rock ‘n’ roll Christmas” started playing. As a child of the 80s, this one would always come on around Christmas time, but obviously very abruptly stopped when things were revealed about him.

I told DP to turn it off, and he asked why??! I said I’m not listening to any music by him, do you not realise what he did??

DP reply by saying “yes, I know, I feel very guilty saying this, but it is a good song isn’t it!! I don’t see why I should stop listening to the song!“

I literally stopped in my tracks and said to him, what do you think of what GG did? He said “well he’s disgusting, obviously, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a good tune.”

so I have gone from feeling on top of the world and feeling like I had met the person I saw a future, to I don’t know if I can carry on being with him! All in the space of a couple days!

am I crazy to think of ending things with him over this?

Please be kind, I’m upset!

Me too 🤣🤣

Oh and the song is good. If it was a little closer to Christmas, I'd probably put it on.

If I were your bf I would see this as a bit controlling and a bit of a red flag tbh.

Wouldn't bother me..... are you of the same opinion with all of Michael Jacksons many many many songs?......

Then you also have to stop listening to David Bowie, Chilli peppers, rolling stones my god the list goes on and on and on.....

What difference will it make to anything if no one listens to his songs anymore? Will it change shat he did?

yAB completely ridiculous. You just said you’ve been so happy and this relationship is great and going places. This disagreement is so so minor; people are allowed to have different opinions, not everyone thinks the same. He was not condoning or justifying was GG did , he just likes the song.
If you can’t deal with this, I’m not sure you are ready for a relationship though. You sound too immature and intolerant.

I had a similar convo with my 13 year old yesterday. He was talking about Kanye and a song of his he liked. I said; 'Kanye is an awful person though'. DS said; 'Yep. But a good song. Pity'. Then we moved on.

Like adults.

You are way overeacting IMO unless there is other stuff that adds to this incident.

YABU.

There are those who believe art should not be "cancelled" when the producer of that art is "cancelled". You do not feel the same. Agree to disagree. It isn't something fundamental to his treatment of you or of others.

Actually I am wondering OP if there is something else going on. It's a fairly new relationship that has moved quickly and is going well. Is that a bit scary for you? I just wonder if there is a bit of you that either thinks it is going too fast OR that it is going so well so something might be 'wrong' if you know what I mean. perhaps you might want to self sabotage it?

That;s my pop psych post of the day but maybe give it some thought? But no I would not personally bin off a lovely guy because of this alone.

(Anyway, of course GG wrote some good songs- he would not have become famous if he did not).

You're being ridiculous it's a just a song.

I feel the same about Michael Jackson, seems the rest of the world doesn’t but I wouldn’t end it because of that

I find it hard to not sing to blame it on the boogie or like smooth criminal but my Hubbie won't divorce me over it

YABU, it’s like me refusing treatment at Leeds General Infirmary because Jimmy Savile volunteered there and raised money for them.

it’s a song, do you block the Rolling Stones songs? Bill Wyman is hardly blemish free.

don’t spoil a good relationship because of this.

Yabvu

YABU.

It's separating the content from the creator isn't it?

Coming from an art perspective, I absolutely adore the works of Caravaggio, Gauguin, Eric Gill and Picasso. All of those men did unspeakable things away from their craft. So should we stop seeing their art or stop adding it to the cannon of great works? Of course not.

I think it's fine not to be able to separate the artist from the art.

But if you can't, then you should be able to respect that other people can.

I think you can propose a solution: you aren’t going to be around when it’s played, so can you have playlists without it. He can listen whenever he likes.

do you listen to Michael Jackson? I don’t

No one actively plays m j anymore but bbc radio still plays it and like with this, dp didn't out in Gary glitter, it came on as part of a mix

Yes this is what I was about to say. I’m not sure if I would listen to him if I felt he was guilty. Maybe maybe not.

But many of his fans don’t feel he is guilty and he was never proven to be so I don’t think it’s a good comparison.

And I won’t be drawn into a debate over whether you think he is guilty or not as it’s irrelevant for this thread. The bottom line is YOU may believe he is guilty, but not everyone across the world who listens to his music does, so it’s a false equivalence to say “But everyone listens to MJ”

I agree that I don't listen to music by paedophiles but it would be a huge overreaction to dump him over this. Listening to their music doesn't mean a person endorses their actions.

Actually having said that while I'd never choose to play Michael Jackson if a tune comes on the radio I don't turn over 🤷🏼‍♀️

@TruJay 😂😂😂 sometimes I need to stay off this page but to not like someone cause of a song is unbelievable I mean I knpw it’s Gary glitter but my partner likes so many songs that I don’t vice versa and we are absolutely okay. He’s clearly just disconnecting the big facts and enjoying the music without the background of who it is. That being said me and my partner wouldn’t listen to him either way! 😂🤣

Led Zeppelin- Some members were notorious for liking underage girls ( young teens)They are in the book “Hammer of the gods”.

Amazed they haven’t been mentioned- It was young “Groupies.” Especially in USA

YABU. It's a song. My DH loved Michael Jacksons music until all the abuse stories came out. Now he wouldn't purposefully put on MJ music but if one his songs was played randomly on the radio and DH listened to it I'm not going to divorce him.

YABU. should have done this as a poll!