to run for the hills from this guy

[Amysunsure]

This year will be my first Christmas with DP, who I’ve been seeing for about 10 months. Everything has been going great, we get on amazing, met each other’s families, and have been on holiday together not long ago. We even talked recently about moving together in around a years time if things carry on going well. My colleagues have been saying how much happier I’ve looked this year and I know it’s all because of him.

except this past few days I have felt things might be about to crash down around me, and I honestly do not know what to do and I’m here for some advice.. I feel so upset, but don’t know if I’m overreacting,

DP and me are both huge fans of Christmas, and earlier in the week we were at his place, listening to Christmas songs (lol yes I know, in October) , talking about our favourites songs,
he was playing me a playlist he had put together.

I was horrified when the Gary Glitter song “another rock ‘n’ roll Christmas” started playing. As a child of the 80s, this one would always come on around Christmas time, but obviously very abruptly stopped when things were revealed about him.

I told DP to turn it off, and he asked why??! I said I’m not listening to any music by him, do you not realise what he did??

DP reply by saying “yes, I know, I feel very guilty saying this, but it is a good song isn’t it!! I don’t see why I should stop listening to the song!“

I literally stopped in my tracks and said to him, what do you think of what GG did? He said “well he’s disgusting, obviously, but it doesn’t change the fact it’s a good tune.”

so I have gone from feeling on top of the world and feeling like I had met the person I saw a future, to I don’t know if I can carry on being with him! All in the space of a couple days!

am I crazy to think of ending things with him over this?

Please be kind, I’m upset!

I do feel terrible for them but i would be very suprised if they play their own music with fondness.

I think YABU to think it’s worth ending an otherwise happy relationship over. Maybe see it as a lesson for you both on differences of opinion and how you choose to go about it.

I wouldn’t say it’s a dealbreaker. I think you’re being a bit OTT, it’s just a song. I listen to Michael Jackson music

I think YABU. I still sometimes listen to Michael Jackson.. I know he was terrible etc. I was sad recently because always loved the French singer Yves Montand and then read that he was accused of abusing his young stepdaughter. Not proven but that was her testimony. I wonder though on a broader level, if this little thing has triggered you, maybe you have other issues with this guy which are somehow below the surface and you haven't discussed them openly. Like, it is really about this or is it something else. It's also inevitable you and DP are going to disagree on stuff, going into a long term relationship.

YABU to end thinks over this. But if that is where you mind is heading, then there will have been a build up leading to it. THis will be the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak.

That's ridiculous of you. Total overreaction.

Ok Yoda 😂

There are so many problematic public artists in all fields - just read the history of Hugo Boss, it's shocking. I always separate the art from the artist otherwise I would barely watch or listen to anything. Even though I know that Harvey Weinstein is a total shit, Shakespeare in Love is one of my favourite films. I just think why should their horrible acts ruin my enjoyment of something.

I think yabu. I get why you have a bit of an issue with it but it's not a red flag. I loved The Smiths in the 80s and then Morrisey turned out to be a racist arsehole. I still listen to The Smiths from time to time because there are some banging tunes. I don't listen to GG anymore but I wouldn't be offended if someone had a track that they liked. If he's so good in so many other ways, you'd be a fool to dump him over this, but only you can know how much of a dealbreaker this is for you.

Oh yes, Morrissey broke my heart, but the smiths were still amazing. At least Johnny Marr us a good egg!

People still listen to Micheal Jackson.

I’m the same as you I still really like the song ignition even though he’s a horrible dirty rat that song takes me back to being a teenager.

I'm probably going to regret asking this, but which author?

List your top ten favourite songs (without googling the history) and we’ll tell you how you’re being hypocritical, if not completely unreasonable

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia Arthur C Clarke

Don't throw away a lovely future because of this.

Oh come on!

daft

I don't think it's a dump offence
I mean I was just thinking and I still
Listen to MJ , the Rolling Stones ,
I won't listen to the lost prophets ever again but I mean so many artists have a not so pure background
I love machine gun Kelly yet have never touched a line of coke in my
Life ..
he doesn't display any signs previous that have worried you so I'd maybe just talk this one out together

You sound like kindred spirits listening to Christmas tunes in October 😂
You are being OTT - he’s not a fan of GG’s actions, he just likes the song , my DH still likes some R Kelly songs (we have very different tastes in music ) but he thinks R K himself is disgusting

Google told me. That poor lad.

ETA: and you've confirmed what I found.

Yeah you've skipped a beat there.
It's like Michael Jackson songs. I enjoy them sparingly now and then. But I wont ever listen to Lost Prophets again.
It's a very weird shakey line.
I'd hesitate to let this have a big defining effect on your relationship though.
A lot of this is kid related criminal behaviour.
Do you think that by listening to music (ages old), made by paedophiles now and then is going to reflect acceptance of paedophila in him because just because there was a banger of a song?
To me, I think you've caught on to something that's hitting you right in the gut and it's more than music setting you off.

I think you’d be a complete idiot to throw away someone you love over this. He’s appalled at what GG did but the song itself, for him, has a life way outside of that. Let him know you don’t want to listen to it or have it on shared Christmas playlists, and hopefully he will respect that. His own nostalgic enjoyment of it from time to time is his own business.

You are being silly.
As long as, now that he knows you hate GG music, your boyfriend doesn't make you personally mixed play lists that include GG music I would lighten up.
Pop your earplugs in an easy to reach place.

Wagner was a ghastly antisemite.
He wrote absolutely divine music.
One of the greatest champions of Wagner's music is Daniel Barenboim - a Jew.