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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Completely Joint finances - weird or normal?

255 replies

WoodworkingDad · 27/10/2023 22:54

Chatting at work recently I have discovered that sharing finances completely even when married puts me in the minority of.... well just me and DW!!!

I work full time and earn £50k wife works part time and earns from two jobs about £15k. We have two daughters 4 and 1 years old.

When we were married and both working FT we opened a joint account and paid similar amounts in for mortgage and household bills (excluding food and fuel) I think I paid slightly more as I earned more.

After number 1 child came along and wife went went back to work PT after MAT leave it became far too complicated to work out financially every month. With the drop in income, nursary fees and us getting paid at different points in the month I suggested having a joint spending account. So now we get paid into our own accounts, I then fund the old joint account for bills and pay remaining money into separate joint (spending) account. Wife pays all wages into same joint spending account so we know exactly how much joint money we have. We effectively don't have private money (own accounts left with £1 in each month). All savings/investments are now pooled for tax purposes. To be fair I manage all our money as DW has zero interest, I know it's not ideal but that's how it is, she however has access and passwords to view and manage all accounts if needed.

Does anyone else completely share all finances with there partner? Or are we genuinely weird? It seems no one else I work with really trusts there OH!!!

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Hipnotised · 27/10/2023 22:57

Everything goes into one account, everything comes out of one account. No financial secrets at all.

(We still have accounts from before we met for birthday gifts etc.)

SoRainbowRhythms · 27/10/2023 22:59

We put the same amount into a joint account and all bills come out of there. The rest of our wages stay in our respective accounts and is totally our own.

We are totally transparent with each other, but I wouldn't ever give up that financial independence.

VisiblyNot25 · 27/10/2023 23:01

We keep our wages in our own accounts. We have a joint current account & a joint savings account that we each pay into monthly (the amounts we each pay are roughly proportionate to our wages). For me, it’s about independence rather than trust.

Covidiokilledtheradiostar · 27/10/2023 23:01

Just a joint account in our household

anonuser63732 · 27/10/2023 23:01

We put 70% of everything we get into a joint family account. 30% goes into our own accounts to do whatever we want with. The % goes up or down depending on how everything is going but is always equal.

Shinyandnew1 · 27/10/2023 23:02

Yours is more complicated than ours-we have one current account, both our wages go directly into it (his full time, mine part time) and all the bills come out of it. Works for us.

WarningOfGails · 27/10/2023 23:02

Everything goes into one account and comes out of one account.

I can’t get my head around doing it any other way tbh, we’ve pooled it all since I was pregnant with DC1.

DH has always out earned me, currently I earn about 20% of what he does.

Original poster
WoodworkingDad · 27/10/2023 23:04

SoRainbowRhythms · 27/10/2023 22:59

We put the same amount into a joint account and all bills come out of there. The rest of our wages stay in our respective accounts and is totally our own.

We are totally transparent with each other, but I wouldn't ever give up that financial independence.

This used to be me, but life/children got in the way and I totally trust my partner The more I think about it I think it's because we both have very similar attitudes to what to spend money on is why this method seems to work for us

OP posts:
Cookerhood · 27/10/2023 23:04

One account for everything & have had for 30 years or so. Anything else seems overly complicated!

Original poster
WoodworkingDad · 27/10/2023 23:06

Shinyandnew1 · 27/10/2023 23:02

Yours is more complicated than ours-we have one current account, both our wages go directly into it (his full time, mine part time) and all the bills come out of it. Works for us.

Glad we are not alone, it's purely laziness in not closing old accounts, should really do as you do to save a lot of pointless transferring of wages haha

OP posts:
Caterina99 · 27/10/2023 23:06

All money goes into and out of one joint account. We also have a joint savings account.

I mostly manage it, but DH has access if he wants it.

Soontobe60 · 27/10/2023 23:07

All finances shared here - I was the higher earner before I retired, double my DHs salary. Still happy to join bank accounts. We have separate accounts for spending money which comes from the joint account though.

TheSugarcubes · 27/10/2023 23:08

We have a joint current account and a joint savings account and no other accounts. I think it odd to have separate finances when you are married. It is a bit like always making your own meals and not the other person's or taking only your own laundry out of the basket or doing separate food shops.

Hbh17 · 27/10/2023 23:09

To me, very odd. In over 3 decades of marriage, I have never seen the need for joint finances.

UsingChangeofName · 27/10/2023 23:11

YABU to assume that not having any private money which you can do as you want with = you don't trust your OH.

On the whole, I agree with the principal that, once you are a family, the bulk of your money should be family money.
We've always had all money going in to our joint account (both salaries and child benefit), then all bills, and (when we could then afford it) savings are allocated, and what we do is also have a standing order so that each of us has a small amount of "spending money" / 'pocket money' / personal account money which we can do what we like with. Which would also include getting a present for dh / dw at Christmas and Birthdays.

senua · 27/10/2023 23:11

All money into the joint account. All bills etc out of same account. The joint account sends us both the same 'pocket money' every month into our individual accounts.
We have similar spending styles i.e. don't really spend much!

Isitisit · 27/10/2023 23:12

VisiblyNot25 · 27/10/2023 23:01

We keep our wages in our own accounts. We have a joint current account & a joint savings account that we each pay into monthly (the amounts we each pay are roughly proportionate to our wages). For me, it’s about independence rather than trust.

Similar to us and totally agree it’s about independence rather than trust.

We send each other money all the time for things to look after, are happy to put joint debts in whoever’s name works best for credit rating or similar but we like seeing what we’ve brought in and managing our own assets.

Aria999 · 27/10/2023 23:12

senua · 27/10/2023 23:11

All money into the joint account. All bills etc out of same account. The joint account sends us both the same 'pocket money' every month into our individual accounts.
We have similar spending styles i.e. don't really spend much!

Same here

zeddybrek · 27/10/2023 23:13

One joint account for everything as well.

Works for us but appreciate won't for everyone. The amount we earn is just a number and it's the concept of putting all our income into one pot for us both with full transparency is what makes us feel it's fair. For us.

Original poster
WoodworkingDad · 27/10/2023 23:13

Hbh17 · 27/10/2023 23:09

To me, very odd. In over 3 decades of marriage, I have never seen the need for joint finances.

Do you have children out of interest? It was the nursery fees and PT working that led us to pool everything. It makes it so much easier to know whats available as a family unit when you drop income and increase expenses

OP posts:
Girasoli · 27/10/2023 23:13

No joint account here...just never got round to it and now we are used to using different accounts for different things.

Iwannaliveinstarshollow · 27/10/2023 23:14

DH earns six figures, I'm currently a SAHM. We've always put everything into one account (I used to be the higher earner pre children, we've done this since we married 25 years ago). Everything into one account, then save from this into joint savings accounts and equal amounts in each ISA.

Our money has always been 'our money', regardless of who earned what. We have both contributed in varying ways to the marriage over the years and have never felt the need to have 'financial independence' from each other; we're a team and are free to spend whatever we like from the pot. It may work because we are both savers at heart and thoughtful towards each other. We have always had the same views about money.

Tigger1895 · 27/10/2023 23:14

1 account. As you said about yourselves, we have the same attitude to money. Big purchases are discussed and we also have 1 savings account

HomeatRoseCottage · 27/10/2023 23:15

We have completely shared finances but I don’t think keeping things separate is necessarily a sign of mistrust. Some people just see finance as a very personal and individual thing.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 27/10/2023 23:16

We have one joint account and one shared credit card account. All money coming into the house is household income. Easy, and means we never argue about money.