Completely Joint finances - weird or normal?

[WoodworkingDad]

Chatting at work recently I have discovered that sharing finances completely even when married puts me in the minority of.... well just me and DW!!!

I work full time and earn £50k wife works part time and earns from two jobs about £15k. We have two daughters 4 and 1 years old.

When we were married and both working FT we opened a joint account and paid similar amounts in for mortgage and household bills (excluding food and fuel) I think I paid slightly more as I earned more.

After number 1 child came along and wife went went back to work PT after MAT leave it became far too complicated to work out financially every month. With the drop in income, nursary fees and us getting paid at different points in the month I suggested having a joint spending account. So now we get paid into our own accounts, I then fund the old joint account for bills and pay remaining money into separate joint (spending) account. Wife pays all wages into same joint spending account so we know exactly how much joint money we have. We effectively don't have private money (own accounts left with £1 in each month). All savings/investments are now pooled for tax purposes. To be fair I manage all our money as DW has zero interest, I know it's not ideal but that's how it is, she however has access and passwords to view and manage all accounts if needed.

Does anyone else completely share all finances with there partner? Or are we genuinely weird? It seems no one else I work with really trusts there OH!!!

Thoughts?

We have a joint account that we pay roughly the same into (DH is paid weekly and I’m monthly so sometimes doesn’t end up exactly equal). All the bills, mortgage, childcare, food, most family days out come out of this and anything left over at the end of the month we move to a joint savings account. We both have our individual accounts that we keep whatever is left after transferring to the joint account which is personal spending money. As the higher earner I pay for the majority of the children’s clothing and some of the family days out out of my personal account rather than the joint account but I’m happy to do it that way rather than transfer the extra into the joint account for it.

Not weird it's perfectly normal

We don't have a joint account, but we have multiple accounts each and most daily spending goes on credit cards which are cleared each month. We do view our finances as family finances but spread amongst lots of pots. If something is paid for then it doesn't matter who paid for it or which account it came from, and we don't keep tabs on who has bought what. It all evens out in the end.

DH is a high earner, I have passive income and we both have lots of investments. Neither of us keep particularly tight track of the other's finances and tbh even of our own. Probably should do but time is short with young kids.

First marriage, while buying a home, raising a family, etc., everything joint. Second husband, later in life, we both had established accounts, my paid for house, etc., so we keep separate but we are actually both on all of the accounts. For 20 years, I prepared taxes (U.S.) and found that curiously, people with joint accounts seemed to do better financially, almost always. I figured it was because one would be more careful with spending, knowing someone else has access and input. And, investments and savings are more deliberately chosen when two people are involved.

Joint accounts since we bought a house, a few years before DC came along.

I'm the higher earner.

It works because we both have similar spending habits and neither of us waste money or over spend.

All of our money has always been joint. As you say, OP, it probably works because our attitudes toward spending are similar. We rarely argue about money.

It has occurred to me that IF it seemed to me that DH was "squandering" money (spending more than I'd like on things I wish he wouldn't buy), then it would make sense to have separate pots of spending money for each of us. Likewise, it has crossed my mind that having separate spending money might prevent a bit of occasional bickering which happens when I donate to a charity he dislikes. If we had separate spending money, I'd just reply, "It's MY money to spend and I'll give it to whoever I want!"

We have a couple of joint accounts. DH's salary goes into one and mine goes into another (historic from when I worked in that bank). Both have access to both accounts.

We also have a big joint savings account which DC's Uni money comes out of.

We both have nominal sole accounts but they aren't used much.

I'm amazed about the responses, about having complete trust in your partners.

Isn't it the case that most people are completely surprised and didn't see it coming, when their partner announces they are leaving.

Therefore, shouldn't you keep your own accounts with a reasonable amount in it, in case you are that person who had complete trust in your partner, until the day they leave you, after first clearing out the joint accounts, leaving you with nothing?

We have had joint money since we moved in together, 20 years ago. Married with 2 adult/teen children and we have hand on heart, never had an argument/disagreement about finances. We have been through our fare share of struggles with money but it's always been together.

Not married but partner of 25 years. Joint account for mortgage, bills and a joint savings account. The rest is separate. Dp spends on things that I view as a complete waste of money ( and I’m sure he’d say the same about me). That’s fine to do when it’s our own money but not when it is joint.

We've just had one account ever since we married and bought a home together together .. we were at the time earning similar salaries and both owned our own homes (a lot easier 35+ years ago). We sold our individual properties and pooled everything. We've never, ever had a disagreement over money - it helps that we have similar spending habits and tend to be savers rather than spenders but we would never criticise or even comment about what the other buys.

I didn't work for 12 years as a SAHM & then went back part time so never earned anywhere near my DH's salary again .. but it was never an issue. I had/have full access to anything I want.
I think when it doesn't work is if one partner has the attitude 'he spent £X on himself therefore I should have £X'. My DH does tend to spend more as his hobbies (golf, fishing) are more 'expensive' than my hobbies ... but I am perfectly happy and content with my hobbies and lifestyle so don't see the need to spend more just to be 'equal'.

Totally joint account and have since we first agreed to buy a house. I cannot imagine asking my OH fir his half of the gas bill. He manages all the money and investments, but I definitely spend more then he does.

We have just one bank account. It helps if both people have the same approach to money. Both DW and I were extremely poor growing up, and we are both frugal.

We are retired, and my income from pensions, etc, is about 4X my wife's income.

DW is a little less frugal than I, which is probably a good thing. Left alone, I would probably be the neighbourhood Scrooge.

Have a joint account, we contribute equal amounts to it and all bills and household expenses come out of it. Shared credit cards. But our salaries are paid into separate current accounts in our own names. Partly because of laziness - obviously it was like that when we met and neither of us has been arsed to change it. But partly because we reckon it’s better from a risk point of view to spread your money round bank accounts a bit.

That said, DH and I earn broadly similar amounts. I can see why it’s potentially different when you have a big earning disparity though.

Obviously we have separate ISAs too but I assume that’s the case for everyone.

Both wages go into a joint account which gets used for everything. A direct debit comes out each month into a joint savings.

We have a similar ethos to spending, both of us are a bit frugal. If we want to buy something big we do chat about it before buying.

I think this is the reason it works, if dh was a spender, I would definately have seperate accounts!

Is it an age thing? How old are you OP? I see lots of people on this thread saying they have joint finances and have been married a long time.

My Grandparents never had joint finances and nor do DH and I. There’s no way I would want all our wages going into one account. Seems like loosing some cash independence.

One joint account, all money is our money.
I do have a business account. It doesn't have much in it though!

We shared all money as soon as we lived together. It’s remained that way for 20 something years. We do have our own current accounts that we just transfer what we want into online but we have equal access to all money.

I think people are predominantly thinking of their current account. Most people with savings will have those in individuals accounts (sometimes they have to be as a joint version of the account doesn’t even exist).

One account here.
All wages go in there. DH earns much more than me partly because I went part time when DC were small. I manage all the finances, savings and we have total transparency.

We do this. It’s just normal for us as we’ve always done it. I don’t see what would stop someone doing it. It’s not like OH wouldn’t know what I was buying regardless as I’d mention it so makes no odds

How would having less transparency help this?
A court would take this into consideration anyway.

Your arrangement sounds a bit odd as in complicated to me, I don’t understand why the “old joint account” for bills and “joint spending account” plus you opened your own accounts even though you already had the joint account.

At the moment we don’t have any joint accounts, purely for historical reasons, in that my relationship with my back predates the one I have with my husband. We still consider everything to be joint however and we freely transfer money between ourselves whenever needed.

For a while we lived overseas, when we landed we just opened the one single joint account and everything went into and out of there.

If you have a joint account in England (as far as I know whole of U.K. but appreciate there are regional differences) and one of you dies the other automatically owns the money in the account. It won’t be frozen or require probate.

If it works for you both, then great, You trust each other. It's simple to administer, and you are both happy.

I've had three bad relationships in a row, one freeloading, one financially controlling and one financially abusive. I got rid of each pretty smartly but I am now much more wary. I prefer to keep finances separate.

Also I have a young teen so would not expect a new partner to bear half the cost of my child. Family structures can be more complicated.