Completely Joint finances - weird or normal?

[WoodworkingDad]

Chatting at work recently I have discovered that sharing finances completely even when married puts me in the minority of.... well just me and DW!!!

I work full time and earn £50k wife works part time and earns from two jobs about £15k. We have two daughters 4 and 1 years old.

When we were married and both working FT we opened a joint account and paid similar amounts in for mortgage and household bills (excluding food and fuel) I think I paid slightly more as I earned more.

After number 1 child came along and wife went went back to work PT after MAT leave it became far too complicated to work out financially every month. With the drop in income, nursary fees and us getting paid at different points in the month I suggested having a joint spending account. So now we get paid into our own accounts, I then fund the old joint account for bills and pay remaining money into separate joint (spending) account. Wife pays all wages into same joint spending account so we know exactly how much joint money we have. We effectively don't have private money (own accounts left with £1 in each month). All savings/investments are now pooled for tax purposes. To be fair I manage all our money as DW has zero interest, I know it's not ideal but that's how it is, she however has access and passwords to view and manage all accounts if needed.

Does anyone else completely share all finances with there partner? Or are we genuinely weird? It seems no one else I work with really trusts there OH!!!

Thoughts?

Completely shared finance 1 bank account for the last 36yrs .Just don't get doing it any other way

Separate finances. Joint credit card that I pay off unless there are holiday payments on it. I pay for some stuff. He pays for other stuff. No mortgage. Joint accounts for rental incomes.

Works for us!

We have a joint account for mortgage, bills and food but to be honest only my husband pays into it. We both have our own accounts as well and I pay for all the kids clothes, clubs, family holidays etc and for my car, phone, kids phones. It all works out fair in the end I reckon.

There are quite a few threads on here where one party has emptied the joint account.

The fact of the matter is - if your relationship is shit then joint, separate does not matter you will still be screwed over. If it is good, then there will be no issue. DH and I know how much we each earn, the money being sat in separate accounts is irrelevant. If I asked for a payslip it would be happily produced (and I manage the money anyway). Women are screwed over by a lack of transparency in general, not by where the money is sitting. If they accept that, then that's on them.

However, there's no getting around the fact that, should a relationship sour. A lack of private funds is a massive barrier to leaving. Even if your husband wasn't abusive to start with many change overnight when they realise what's been going on.

The premise of 'only a joint' is hinges on trusting your spouse with no thought as to what happens if the marriage fails. A plan is only as good as the worst case scenario.

I earn a lot more than my husband but I spend a lot more. We have a joint account for bills where I put in 4 times more than him a month and that covers everything we need. The rest he earns is his and the rest I earn is mine, but we both just spend what we have on what’s needed or wanted without any question from the other. It naturally falls to me to pay for holidays, household improvements, cars etc and I have no problem with that - what’s mine is his, but i do like having my own money in my account to do what I want with and he likes his own money to do what he wants with - we’ve both have been fiercely independent since I was sixteen snd him 18 and both need to maintain that. One thing I disliked about pooled everything was the other one seeing what we’d bought each other for Christmas and birthdays based on the account activity. There has to be some mystery :)

Were both pretty similar in our financial outlook on life which helps - I’ve made sure we’re both provided for reasonably well, for the rest of our lives, but I also like spending what I earn now whilst I can enjoy it - it’s all about balance. If he expected me to scrimp and save and complained about every penny spent that would drive me crazy, likewise if he was a complete spendthrift from pooled money I’d be furious.

it works for us