Completely Joint finances - weird or normal?

[WoodworkingDad]

Chatting at work recently I have discovered that sharing finances completely even when married puts me in the minority of.... well just me and DW!!!

I work full time and earn £50k wife works part time and earns from two jobs about £15k. We have two daughters 4 and 1 years old.

When we were married and both working FT we opened a joint account and paid similar amounts in for mortgage and household bills (excluding food and fuel) I think I paid slightly more as I earned more.

After number 1 child came along and wife went went back to work PT after MAT leave it became far too complicated to work out financially every month. With the drop in income, nursary fees and us getting paid at different points in the month I suggested having a joint spending account. So now we get paid into our own accounts, I then fund the old joint account for bills and pay remaining money into separate joint (spending) account. Wife pays all wages into same joint spending account so we know exactly how much joint money we have. We effectively don't have private money (own accounts left with £1 in each month). All savings/investments are now pooled for tax purposes. To be fair I manage all our money as DW has zero interest, I know it's not ideal but that's how it is, she however has access and passwords to view and manage all accounts if needed.

Does anyone else completely share all finances with there partner? Or are we genuinely weird? It seems no one else I work with really trusts there OH!!!

Thoughts?

We have each got a personal account and a joint account, plus individual savings accounts.

Our wages are both paid into the joint account, where all bills come out of.

We both have internet banking on the joint account, and occasionally transfer money to our individual accounts for various reasons.

We use the savings accounts interchangeably for specific purposes. For example, his account right now if for Christmas funds, and mine is for next summers holiday.

We individually have more long term savings too which we pool as appropriate when making a purchase or whatever. Makes sense to have them separate as sometimes we will lock some of our money away for a year.

We have each been the higher earner by a significant margin at various points due to uni/work/career progression/career brake/maternity leave and so on. Overall I’d say it’s pretty equal.

Everything into the joint account.
Bills come out, savings (joint) come out and we spend the rest on whatever we fancy. We'll discuss big purchases (£100+) if either of us wanted to buy something but generally we buy what we want, when we want and have done this since we moved in together 20 years ago.

We have all money going into 1 joint account. Some savings accounts are just in my name but that is just logistical as I opened them online and it’s easier to do as 1 person. It’s not my money more than dhs.

We each have our own credit card, but wages are paid into joint account and all bills including the credit cards come out of that account. So I suppose we have "privacy" in that we don't each see the other's credit card statement but essentially it's all just shared money that comes out of one pot. We don't question each other's spending. But that's because we have similar attitudes to money and shared financial goals. It would be a different story if one of us were a significantly bigger spender than the other, for example, racking up massive bills. We don't take the piss and are each respectful so it works.

No it seems sensible as a married couple and especially with having children together. Surely anything else has the potential to cause resentment e.g. if one is left to look after the children while the other does overtime, maternity leave etc if one does more of the housework, can imagine people would just be constantly keeping score. Also in terms of marriage vows, if one is unwell, gets made redundant etc. I can imagine this situation leads to women saying they can’t afford to return to work as the household income is too high to receive childcare support but their individual earnings are too low.
In our house everything goes into the joint account then we take an equal amount per month for our own personal spending.

Married over 30 years, all earnings go into one joint account.

I also have my own account which I've had since before we were married. I jokingly call it my 'running away fund'.

We shared finances after we married. It completely works for us as we have similar spending attitudes. It's seen us through his redundancy and my Mat leave where we've both been the breadwinner. Now we earn the same and are still completely joint.

DH & I have same set up as usual, again just haven't got round to closing original.separate accounts. We have 3 late teens.

Completely shared finances in our house. There are some accounts in my name or his name just for practical reasons like pensions through work, but we operate on a joint finances philosophy.

Our finances are totally shared although I have always worked PT since having DCs and DH earns far more than I do. I think if you share a marriage, home and children with someone, you should share money too

If you were to divorce, all the money is pooled (financial disclosure) and divided as equitably as possible. “Individual” savings and pensions included. In the typical marriage ceremony the vows say “all that I am I give to you. All that I have I share with you” That’s the way the law sees it too.
me and dh have always had joint accounts, we never question the other on what they spend but always run large purchases past the other. We have very similar attitudes to money though, I imagine it would be difficult if we didn’t.

Everything is joint for us. I'm by far the higher earner but DH basically sacrificed his career for mine by moving to another country so I could accept a job with a big step up in pay and the potential for advancement. The only fair way for us to have been able to make a decision like that was for everything to be shared equally between us I think.

I wouldn't have married my husband if he didn't agree to joint finances. We are a team, what's mine is his and what's his is mine. There is absolutely none of "this is my money", "this is your money" nonsense. In 26+ years, we have never once had a disagreement as to who pays for what or what money belongs to who. I would find that very toxic and tedious.

We have a joint bills account where all monies get paid in to, and a joint spending account. Our savings are mainly in my name purely because he leaves me to deal with them, but he has a savings account I set up for him, and there’s also a couple of joint ones kicking about too.

Interesting, consensus seems to be that married with children most people do in various different ways fully share finances. Perhaps my colleagues are the anomaly after all!

I guess a lot depends on income, attitude to spending and saving, children and the disparity of income between partners. Everyone's situation really is completely different.

Thanks for your insights into your financial affairs 👍

YABVVU and weird on two counts.
a) Assuming that people having their own accounts means 'not trusting' their partner.
b) Assuming that having private money means you don't pool everything.

DH and I switch current accounts to get the bonuses, each have ISA's (so we have a 40K total allowance). Have accounts in international currencies. Among other things.

We also never keep lots of money in a debit account as someone could swipe the lot if card stolen. All into savings and then dripfed in.

We pool our money and keep some for personal spends but it's all in various places.

That aside though if you're a regular on MN seeing the amount of people who can't believe what their once loving husband turned into I'd never advise people to have zero access to an account or some money of their own. Also, if there's an issue with fraud, and your joint is frozen , or cards declined that's both of you screwed. Unless you have a stockpile of cash sitting around somewhere.

One current , one savings plus various investments all of them joint And have been since before we even married when we started living together 30 years ago.

We have gone from me earning much more than DH to me earning much much less since children and a career change although I had a large inheritance some years ago also. All completely shared.

As per previous posters we share the same values and habits around money and spending which makes this kind of set up possible.

@Covidiokilledtheradiostar Same here, Joint account, we have savings accounts but the only one with anything in is a joint account.

The same.

I've also realised reading that my own situation is way too complicated, I have just got used to doing it that way every month.

The reason for keeping a separate account for bills is so you know to the penny exactly how much money is left to spend and all direct debits are excluded. We also leave a decent float in the joint bills account for things like insurance/car service etc and other one off things that are cheaper to pay annually than monthly

@Hbh17,
If you’ve both continued to work f/t throughout without one parent stopping or reducing their working hours in favour of childcare then it’s probably always worked fine to do it your way.
For me, I became a SAHP for quite a few years. There was no way I would have agreed to this if I did not have access to all household income. Anything other than joint in these circumstances seriously affects the dynamics of your marriage.
I’m now back to work and the kids are all teenagers but I certainly wouldn’t want anything other that a joint account. Apart from anything else, it just makes everything so much easier to keep track of.

Me and my DH are the same. All money goes in and out of one joint account. We've got kids, but we did this as soon as we bought our first home together. I'd worked with a woman who used to talk about her DH eating more than her from the shopping she bought and her having to pay towards his car tyres because he drove her to work. I just couldn't have been doing with all that.
At various times we've each earned more than the other. At the moment he's the main earner. We've never once argued about who's money it is. It's all our money and everything is ours. We've been together over 20 years, so it's worked.

We have a joint account. We both actually have separate accounts too but not for any particular reason, just historic, and money for any one offs will come out of whichever has most cash in at the time (eg my new laptop came out of huabands, last holiday came out of mine, most things come out of joint though). I thought sharing everything was kind of the point of marriage - and legally its jointly owned anyway.

It helps that we have a similar attitude to money though and have always discussed any bigger purchases without agreeing any rules around this, it just happened naturally

We have a joint account we pay into to cover bills, food, kids expenses. After that our money is ours. We earn similar and it all comes out in the wash. Works for us.

I had one account throughout my marriage, I really don't understand why people don't. If I didn't trust my partner with money I wouldn't marry them, end of.

In fact I still have one joint account with my ex husband