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Original poster

How can my brother salvage this situation

1000 replies

missblooming · 27/10/2023 11:19

I'm a long time user, but have set up a new name for this as I dont want it linked to my previous posts. My brother moved in with his partner about six months ago and things were going great apart from one thing, she has a huge dog and it constantly causes rows between them. Things came to a head last week and he told her it needed to go or he would, and she basically said that's fine, my brother needed to go by the end of the month.

They were so happy together and made for a nice couple. My DB was getting his life back on track, and had hoped with his new living arrangements that he would get joint custody of my niece and nephew and be able to spend some more time with them- which would be great for our whole family.

The dog had been sleeping in the GF room when he moved in, which obviously he wasnt happy with so she moved it to a spare room, but when the kids come to stay they dont like staying in what they call the 'dogs room'. Obviously it lets them know where they are in the pecking order! My DB asked for it to go in the kitchen and the GF started to dig her heels in and its become a real bone of contention.

Apart from the dog, I have never seen my brother so happy. It seems a shame that a relationship can be ruined for such a silly reason. I want to help him salvage it, but not sure where to go from here. He has gone from indifference to the dog to being absolutely fixated on it as the problem- things like she'll spend £80 on a bag of food when he's trying to clear credit card debt and cant afford to take the kids to the cinema, he just cant see past it, particularly now shes picked the dog over him.

How can we help her see that she is being unreasonable, or how can my brother let this go? I really don't want him moving back in here, and it will also mean that he is further away from getting shared custody of his kids.

OP posts:
BibiBlocksberg · 27/10/2023 20:20

‘Meddling Dogs’ oh dear lord, brilliant 🤩

kokotheguerilla · 27/10/2023 20:20

#teamdog

CheckEngineLightOn · 27/10/2023 20:20

Lovemusic82 · 27/10/2023 20:17

It is hilarious but I’m guessing both OP and her brother have been raised in a way where they think this is completely normal……to expect someone else to pay for your mistakes and change their whole life style to fit around you. Aubergine they are both cocklodgers?

Show quote history

Must have been! Surely there’s no way this level of entitlement can occur naturally?

Absolute cocklodgers (new favorite word, not heard that one before this thread)

WiddlinDiddlin · 27/10/2023 20:20

@missblooming I have to ask...

Why aren't YOU cutting back on YOUR outgoings, spend a little less on your own food bill, heating bill, any pets or kids or hobbies you have... and giving your DB that cash.

He is your relative after all and so his children are your blood relatives too. Surely it is more your responsibility to support his kids than his soon to be ex-girlfriends?

I actually cannot believe you are not saving every spare penny you can to fund these childrens trips to the cinema and McDonalds. How selfish you are!

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 27/10/2023 20:24

missblooming · 27/10/2023 12:05

He absolutely does support his kids! He's a great dad, which is why he wants them to come and be able to live with him. He pays a fortune in maitenance to their mum, there just isn't then enough left for him to do treats like the cinema or even a Macdonalds when they come to visit him and he wants them to have a nice time. The credit card debt is a hangover from their relationship when they had a new kitchen- so again it is him supporting his kids and the mother of his children.

I can't believe that you are all saying that you would be happy to see your kids go without whilst an animal gets spoilt rotten! It's not about him being a 'cocklodger' she knew he had kids when he moved in- so I don't know why the idea that they have a room is so baffling? The dog wont know the difference of where it sleeps.

He loves his GF very much, he's devestated at the thought the relationship might be over. He just cant get passed the resentment of the dog. I had hoped for some advice on that, or helping them reach a compromise as another poster has said this is definetly dogsnet.

Show quote history

If you feel so fucking strongly about it then YOU give him money then.

adriftinadenofvipers · 27/10/2023 20:25

Firsttimemum120 · 27/10/2023 20:15

@adriftinadenofvipers my dog was a 2 year old frenchie who still occasionally toileted in the house/flat. My partner would cuddle me my dog would bark and growl. My dog also would sit on me so no one could get near but never did bite anyone. I also didn’t have a place of my own just like the OPs brother doesn’t it was too much for my disabled mother and my partner onky had a 2 bed upstairs flat with no garden so really it was unfair for my child to be subject to that and the fact my dog would wee or poo on the carpet no matter how much you cleaned and disinfected still didn’t seem right to want to put a baby on the floor never mind be able to comfortably leave a room for 2 seconds. I also work full time. So do you need any more reasons. When it was me and the dog primarily at my mums we were inseperable and loved each other she shared my bed everything but when I’m having a human child I think the child comes first. I also still have contact with who she’s with and get regular photos and always said I’d take her back if they ever didn’t or couldn’t have her. So don’t judge me. I put the dog first as much as I did my own child for the right reasons she’s now settled with another dog of her breed. This woman and her brother are the problem on this post.

So you got rid of the dog that adored and was so bonded with you.... Perhaps if she had been better trained, or you'd got behavioural therapy for her...

Please, don't get another dog, ever.

BibiBlocksberg · 27/10/2023 20:27

Last one…. -pls note, the list & rules also apply to Cats :)

How can my brother salvage this situation
MintedMojito · 27/10/2023 20:27

HER dog, HIS kids. She took on the responsibility for her dog. She is not responsible for his kids. If he loved her that much he would be able to get over his resentment of the dog. He sounds very immature.

Nanny0gg · 27/10/2023 20:28

TheTecknician · 27/10/2023 20:17

No recent posts from our OP. I hope this means she has got the messages. Yes, plural. Furthermore, I hope her deadbeat brother is soon similarly apprised.

I wonder if this thread is heading for 'Classics' ?

More likely heading for deletion when we find out it's a PBP

CheckEngineLightOn · 27/10/2023 20:28

#TeamDog

How can my brother salvage this situation
RedToothBrush · 27/10/2023 20:29

I'll chuck in a few pennies for the MN whip round for drinks for the gf and treats for the dog.

Tonight1 · 27/10/2023 20:33

RedToothBrush · 27/10/2023 20:29

I'll chuck in a few pennies for the MN whip round for drinks for the gf and treats for the dog.

Yay! She deserves a bottle of champers. And a treat for the dog.

notlucreziaborgia · 27/10/2023 20:33

She can pass him this as he leaves.

How can my brother salvage this situation
GarlicGrace · 27/10/2023 20:34

missblooming · 27/10/2023 12:14

You can get bags of dog food for £30 you can get bags of dog food for £80. Would you all really be able to let it wash over you that £50 is being spent on special food for the dog, rather than a special meal for actual children. And of course when you get involved with someone with kids you take on a degree of responsibilty and care for them!

Of course when you get involved with someone with animals you take on a degree of responsibility and care for them!

Surprised OP hasn't invited DB and his children to live with her, at her expense.

StrangePaintName · 27/10/2023 20:34

Tonight1 · 27/10/2023 20:33

Yay! She deserves a bottle of champers. And a treat for the dog.

Show quote history

I don’t like domestic pets of any variety, but I’m unproblematically Team Canine here.

Offcom · 27/10/2023 20:35

The worst thing is that once dearest brother is gone, this huge, argument-inciting, Happy Meal-depriving dog will probably miss the prick who was trying to get rid of him

SophieJo · 27/10/2023 20:36

Whose house is it? You need to bear that in mind!

CheckEngineLightOn · 27/10/2023 20:39

notlucreziaborgia · 27/10/2023 20:33

She can pass him this as he leaves.

Spit Take GIF

.

BIossomtoes · 27/10/2023 20:41

Offcom · 27/10/2023 20:35

The worst thing is that once dearest brother is gone, this huge, argument-inciting, Happy Meal-depriving dog will probably miss the prick who was trying to get rid of him

Doubt it, he’ll be back in her bed again - with a smug smile on his face.

ihavebecomecomfortablynumb · 27/10/2023 20:44

Good for her for kicking the entitled twat out. I spend about £250 a month feeding my dog and he sleeps in my bedroom. I wouldn’t compromise his health and comfort for some grifting cocklodger.

Theokaycokey · 27/10/2023 20:48

She's financially supporting her dog. It's not for her to financially support his children. Why should she? She's already moved the dog into the spare room. Why should she turf the dog out for the occasional visit of his children? He could always vacuum the room and spray some fabreeze around before they visit, put some nice child friendly bedding on the bed, and arrange a few books or toys around to make it welcoming and feel as though it's their room. Honestly, he's not coming across at all well. The term 'cock lodger' springs to mind.

Theokaycokey · 27/10/2023 20:50

BIossomtoes · Today 20:41

Offcom · Today 20:35

'The worst thing is that once dearest brother is gone, this huge, argument-inciting, Happy Meal-depriving dog will probably miss the prick who was trying to get rid of him'

Doubt it, he’ll be back in her bed again - with a smug smile on his face.

🤣🤣🤣 absolutely right. Am imagining the dog's face.

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2023 20:51

Please put this in Classics @MNHQ. It's a corker 🤣

vodkaredbullgirl · 27/10/2023 20:51
Good Night Skeleton GIF by Sealed With A GIF

This thread will be full so

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/10/2023 20:52

@vodkaredbullgirl Love it 🤣

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