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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

478 replies

TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 15:28

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night.

I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either.

I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ariela · 26/10/2023 15:32

What does SIL and the other non-bride staying 2 nights guests think?

Sanch1 · 26/10/2023 15:33

YANBU what absolute cheeky fuckers.

MoserRothOrangeandAlmond · 26/10/2023 15:34

I would say in a jokey way.... erm.... I've paid x amount I'm getting the more expensive room!
If your only staying one night...no need to get settled in a room and then people who have paid more and staying 2 can have the same bed for 2 nights!

Ideally it should have been sorted before visiting that the Air BnB was x amount for so many people... if they decide to only do one night that's up to them but the price is the same!
I would be miffed too! But I couldn't not say anything.

saveforthat · 26/10/2023 15:35

Well why would you pay towards their share if they have pulled out? Just say they can stay one or two nights but the cost will be the same.

Original poster
TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 15:36

Ariela · 26/10/2023 15:32

What does SIL and the other non-bride staying 2 nights guests think?

I only know SIL, she's equally annoyed. Other guests are also bride's friends that we don't know. We're putting on a happy front for bride

OP posts:
Oblomov23 · 26/10/2023 15:36

I wouldn't have put up with this. I would've said when they first mentioned not staying fir the 2nd night that this didn't affect the price they'd pay.

You can still say something.

AnaisMae · 26/10/2023 15:37

Yeah the cost shouldn't have changed, and I wouldnt have agreed to pay more to subsidise cheeky fuckers.

DoThePropeller · 26/10/2023 15:45

Absolutely no way. They need to move. You aren’t going to sleep on their dirty bedding, it’s just not practical. Say something, they should be embarrassed not you.

GabriellaMontez · 26/10/2023 15:52

Your mistake here was 2 days ago.

You should have said "sorry I can't afford to up my contribution at this stage/I've used up my budget for this trip ".

It's outrageous that they expected to pay less and asked you.

SlipperyLizard · 26/10/2023 15:55

The big mistake was surely booking somewhere where anyone had to stay on a pullout bed?

But YANBU, if they now don’t want to stay 2 nights they should still pay the same price.

Pinkelephant66 · 26/10/2023 15:56

The cheek of some people!

wildwestpioneer · 26/10/2023 15:58

Why are they no longer paying? If they agreed the full amount they can't expect to pay less and make everyone else pay more if they've changed their minds

feemcgee · 26/10/2023 15:59

saveforthat · 26/10/2023 15:35

Well why would you pay towards their share if they have pulled out? Just say they can stay one or two nights but the cost will be the same.

This. If they pull out so close to the event, they should expect to pay their entire share.

needanotherhol · 26/10/2023 16:01

You definitely need to say something or it will eat you up and ruin the trip.
Has anyone put any stuff in the rooms yet? If not I would be tempted to take your stuff to the room with en-suite and if they say something reply with 'haha, I thought you was joking earlier.. we've paid for the full two nights and don't want your dirty sheets thanks'.

Let them be embarrassed by their cheekiness rather than you feeling embarrassed for making a big deal.

Maddy70 · 26/10/2023 16:02

Speak up

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 26/10/2023 16:03

What’s the chance they’ll suddenly decide they can in fact now stay another night and not pay the full cost? 🤔

icantchangetime · 26/10/2023 16:04

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 26/10/2023 16:03

What’s the chance they’ll suddenly decide they can in fact now stay another night and not pay the full cost? 🤔

Exactly what I thought.

These are people with some brass neck

Birch101 · 26/10/2023 16:04

The money should have been paid up front before you even arrived and they should still be paying for what they originally agreed to I'd refuse to pay the difference

NotLactoseFree · 26/10/2023 16:05

The people staying only one night sleep on the fold out. Why should you have to pack/unpack multiple times, sleep on their dirty sheets etc.

I think a MN tinkly laugh, head tilt and "don't be ridiculous - you're leaving tomorrow and it's crazy for the rest of us to have to move or change bedding etc. I'll just move your stuff shall I?" is the answer here.

Original poster
TheMadHattter · 26/10/2023 16:17

So just for background. Maid of honour text us 2 days ago and said we now owed an addition £X amount as these two friends are only staying one night now to save money. SIL and I discussed and decided to suck it up and pay and also cover bride's additional amount (as she's tight on money, has anexity and we didn't want her to worry about any of this) but told maid of honour we thought it wasn't on.

We are from groom's side and don't know anyone except bride. I feel like the bedroom situation is a real slap in the face from these friends and disappointed the maid of honour hasn't stepped in. The friend's have really marked their territory in bedroom - stuff everywhere.

I feel like I've missed my moment to say something now - I should of said it when they told us we were on sofa bed. This thread has made me feel much better though so thanks for cheering me up.

OP posts:
Prinnny · 26/10/2023 16:20

That’s a piss take, the price was agreed and split, just because they’ve decided to go home early doesn't mean you all should cover their shortfall.

Riverlee · 26/10/2023 16:22

When did they decide to downgrade to one night? If at the beginning of the arrangements, fair enough. However, if since then they’re cf.

Riverlee · 26/10/2023 16:23

Just read update, yes cheeky.

Schoolchoicesucks · 26/10/2023 16:26

Yes they're totally out of order and it's disappointing that the maid of honour, who presumably knows them, didn't step in.
But I agree that the time for having spoken up about either has probably passed and you are doing the dignified and kind thing (for the bride's sake) by rising above it.
I hope you have a fun time anyway, and that you can use the bedding from pull out and don't have to sleep on their dirty bedclothes!

PinkLemons99 · 26/10/2023 16:27

🤦🏻‍♀️ Stop being such a wuss and tell them no, you’re getting the bedroom for the entire weekend as you’re now left paying for their shortfall since they unilaterally decided to go a day early and obviously, they should have paid the full amount. Move their stuff out of the room if you have to.

If you don’t stand up to them now, you’ll also end up paying out for excess drinks, food etc. as they’re clearly Cheeky Fuckers and as they don’t know you, they feel quite safe to be complete shits. If they kick off, it’s on them, not you!

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