Or is this hen do behaviour a bit off?

[TheMadHattter]

I've just arrived at a hen do that has been arranged and booked for months. 2 days ago a couple of the bride's friends said they are only staying for one night now so it will cheaper for them - however as it's an Airbnb the overall cost has not changed so the remaining 6 of us have had to chip in to make up the difference for them pulling out of the second night.

I was already a bit miffed about this and now I've just arrived and the two friends who have done this have claimed a bedroom with double bed and ensuite. They have said me and SIL can have that bedroom tomorrow night once they leave and until then we can sleep on the fold out bed in the lounge. I know usually it's first come first served and we were the last to arrive, but as they've pulled out and made it more expensive for everyone else I think they should be on the fold out bed. I don't particularly want to sleep in their dirty sheets either.

I don't know these friends and I don't want to spoil it for the bride so I've just gone along with it but inside I'm pretty annoyed and just think this is rude behaviour. AIBU?

I’m 😵 at this op. I’ve been on - and organised - countless hen weekends over the years and this is a massive no-no.

The maid of honour is at fault for entertaining these 2 freeloaders, and you should have put your foot down at being asked for more money.

It’s even worse that you had all already agreed/paid, then YOU had to pay more to give THEM a refund!!! The only way this is acceptable is if they say before you’ve paid and then you could calculate a per person per night rate, to make it fair.

And don’t get me started on them taking the best room - rooms should have been allocated before you got there.

Shambles!

I can’t believe the C Fuckery of this! How on earth do people like these walk amongst us?

I’d have said something about the money at the time but, like you, I’d be reluctant to do anything to upset the weekend now you are already there. But, really, it’s the CFers fault so it’s all on them.

They are taking the piss and they know it and you are facilitating it. The bride is a woman who is getting married and not having a full frontal lobotomy - stop trying to protect everyone, it’s 2 nights away and say No.

Absolutely.
I would do this too.
If others follow then maybe it will click how rude this is.

Grabby cheeky fuckers. I’d definitely say something but in a calm, side comment fashion so as not to upset the whole evening. Just enough so that they know you’re aware they’re taking the piss, but not enough to start an argument.

More front than Brighton. The MOH should also have been told to bollocks when she started telling people they now owed more money.

Ask the maid of honour to sort it.
She had no problem telling you you all 'owed' more when you didn't. You were put on the spot and paid it but are now expected to have a fold out bed even though you've paid way more.

Is the MOH also friends with these two CFs?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

This is brilliant.

I do agree stand your ground now or you'll find as the wedding nears the expectation you sick up the friends whims will increase and you and SIL will feel forever in the grasp of doing it for the bride

It's really shitty, but I guess they've shown you and the rest of the party who they are. I'd not be able to raise it without it being a huge row, but you know to avoid and ignore

It's done now, and you can't change it, but you can refuse to put your hand in your pocket for more expenses, and just say that the trip has cost your more than you had anticipated, and can't afford to fork out any more. If the MOH kicks up a fuss she can suck it up because it is her fault that you are paying more.

WTF?!

If you pay in advance you forfeit your right to a refund if you then only decide to stay one night

Utter cheeky bastards

If MoH has been the organiser she should help you challenge the bedroom situation. I know it's tough for her but she has enabled them getting money back for the night they're not staying. Why should you be paying extra than expected (and agreed/budgeted for) while sleeping in the living room or in dirty sheets?

You need to take the CF aside and say that you don’t want to ruin it for the bride but they are taking the piss.

Not only have they increased everyone else’s costs because they have been flaky with their commitments, they also think it is acceptable for them to pay less and benefit more. I would say, whilst you would welcome them to use the en-suite, bedroom mirrors etc to get ready, you expect the beds to be yours for both nights. Sleeping in someone else’s sheets is disgusting.

You don't owe any more money.

You agreed to pay X for accomodation. Your plans have not changed.

I think it's bad form to take the bedroom and leave other people with a pull out sofa. It is not first come, first served. They are rude for taking the best space for themselves. They sound shitty.

Hen weekends can be the worst.

How do fuckers like these even have friends to invite them to things if this is typical of how they carry on? Amazing. On the other hand, I know some very kind, loving people who have very small circles or who have never been invited on a hen weekend ( I have only been on one or two myself!). I might get caught once by someone but it would only be once.

Gosh they are such cheeky fuckers!

They need to go on the sofa bed. Why would you want to sleep on their used sheets?

Have you actually paid the "refund" yet? If not please don't! The deal is off.
It was cheeky as fuck for them to ask/expect it. What they've done now blows the whole thing out of the water.

You've been absolutely shafted because you're "only" the groom's side I bet. Bitches.

Cheeky fuckers like these also rely on other people's goodwill/desire not to spoil things- they KNOW that the chances of being called out on it are slim because most people are too nice/kind etc. But the nice thing isn't always the right thing, I'd confound their expectations and say my piece and reclaim that bed at a minimum..

Exactly this. Has the accommodation not already been paid because if it has then there should be no refund. If it hasn't been paid up front then I'd decide not to stay at all and pay nothing.

entitled cheeky fuckers, I don’t know how you are keeping it in! I’d have been livid at the MoH request and now this!! Ruuude!

So you all agreed long ago to each stay for and pay for two nights.

Then these two decided they only wanted to stay for one night and thus expect to only pay for one night.

Now the rest of you, who are still only staying for the agreed two nights, are expected to pay (a share of) an unusable third night - because presumably the other two somehow matter and you don't?

Unbelievable.

I agree with PP: not only will they not leave promptly in the morning of the day they've had you refund them for, but they'll stick around for most of the day and evening. They may end up having a few drinks and/or be far too tired to leave, so as you (luckily!) have the room, hey, why don't they just crash with you?!

Lots of keyboard warriors on these threads. It's not always easy to be bullish with strangers

Hen nights bring out the worst in some people

I think I would have the confidence to decline to pay extra to subsidise people who choose to stay one night only

More difficult to barge into a room and throw their stuff out. I'd be very unhappy about that. Does the house have a tumble drier? If so, you could wash the sheets before night 2

I suppose someone has to be on the sofa bed, and if the house was full both nights, that could still have been you

I think you've missed your chance to say something now....try to ignore and avoid these selfish two and enjoy yourselves, think of and or reserve your relationship with the bride.

I believe the second night will be the better night and everyone will acknowledge how you were screwed over x

I hate confrontation as well @NeedToChangeName, but I would just have decined to pay more in the first place, and I would just say that I couldn't afford more expenses once there if asked if I had been guilt tripped into paying the difference.