Friend expects me to order everything

[Dublinwife]

A long standing friend keeps asking me to order things for her online . She refuses to even try to do it because she doesn’t want to put her card details. She won’t even sign up for an e wallet or prepaid card. It’s ok once or twice but now it’s everything. Birthdays, Christmas, anything. She gives me the money but I feel like a Secretary. Sometimes if we haven’t spoken for a couple of weeks, I’ll get a message , no hello how areyou , just can you order me this today in a large? I’ve told her she needs to do it and she just mouths the words I know, but doesn’t. I just feel like if I didn’t do it would we even be friends? How can I say no? I’ve made various excuses but I always end up doing it. Really fed up. She has family that could do it.

Just say you have been scammed so you are not doing online stuff yourself.

Say no, do you need it in multiple languages?

Just say no.

Don't make excuses. Just say no, you don't want to do it any more. You'll soon see if she's still a 'friend'

What?

say no, you do it.

Just say you are finding it a pain sorry so won’t be doing it any more (that’s the truth.)

Just say no. Tell her you are going for a loan and need to produce bank statements and you need your limit your transactions so it does not look like you are overspending if you cannot say a straight no.

Tell her you're budgeting and you're not using your card at the moment. She'll have to try someone else.

Omg my SIL used to do this to me all the time. She didn’t want to put her card details in because she would get scammed. But it was ok for me to do it?

I went for the nuclear option and stopped speaking to her over a load of other things. Maybe try that 🤣

she's not a friend if she's only messaging to order you to order things for her. what's stopping you saying no (and blocking her)? not like you'll be losing a friend. Think of it as empowering her to do things for herself. it's doing her a favour right?

As you keep giving in and doing it anyway, you're not being clear. Simply say no. And mean it.
Just don't do it. If she stops being your friend for that, she wasn't your friend to begin with.

How do you say ‘no’? You either type it, or you open your mouth and vocalize the word. The world won’t end if and when you do, either. It isn’t impolite or unreasonable to refuse a (repeated) request, and I’m not sure why so many people struggle with it tbh.

Two choices. Either say no or carry on doing it. There’s literally no in between here…

Agree with everyone else - you simply say no. "I can't do that anymore. Ask X" Do not be tempted to add 'sorry' either.

How is it so many Mners are such craven people-pleasers they would rather endlessly allow themselves to be trampled on by people they don't even like rather than say 'No, I'm tired of your laziness. Order your own clothes'?

Why don’t you just say no sorry can’t do that? If she starts playing the victim stay firm and just say she will need to find an alternative secretary or do it herself like everyone else does

So YANBU to be fed up with it but YABU for not saying no before now

‘Hi, no thanks. Wanna get coffee next week?’
Learn how to say ‘no’ to people without offering up excuses or apologising for nothing, it’s a basic life skill, without it, you’re open to being made a mug of by users.

FFS this is on you not her. She's definitely an arse but you are allowing it. If you lose her as a 'friend' so be it. Say no and stick to it.

Either say no each time or just send her a message saying "Hope all well. Am sorry but I can longer keep ordering stuff for you. Take care" But stick to it you are an adult.

Just tell her no, it's getting to much. Its not difficult.

Be clear. Say “No I don’t want to do that any more”. No excuses or apologies, you don’t want to do it (quite rightly).

If she doesn’t value your friendship you will soon find out and it is no loss. You are being used.

Tell her you can’t do it anymore. If she stops being your friend or harasses you, then she was never a friend anyway.

I BET you have lost money through this. Either postage money or times you’ve forgot to chase her for money.

No way would I keep doing that. Just ignore her texts when she asks you.

Tell the cheeky wagon to feic off. That sounds like a complete pain.

Do a Zammo. Just say no 🤔😁

Send her a message:

Hi friend, I wanted to let you know that I'm not able to order things for you any more. I wanted to tell you before Christmas comes so you can sort out how you'll do it. Let's get together for a coffee soon before the festive madness begins. Xx

And then just keep saying "I can't do it any more, sorry" if she pushes.