What amount of money would you give to help another mother?

[ShrigleyInc]

What amount of money would you give to a single mother / mother of one/two child(ten) who is actually facing huge destitution this month because pay has come in late, bills have risen, demands on finances (debt repayments and utility bills increasing)have risen (due to age of child and time of year) despite only able to live on basics for over two years?

The person is in your circle, maybe close, maybe distant. You may or may not like them. Your children may or may not like their child/ren.

Yet, on the principle of helping, where you can, you would, if asked (not that this is likely as the person in poverty has extreme shame in being in this situation, but is somehow connected to you) - would you do the following, if at asked?

Help by giving:
£100...because you can with no knock on effect to your life
£300...because you can with no knock on effect to your life
£500...because you can with no knock on effect to your life
£Even more because you can....

I ask this for the following reasons: does the help have to be close to home / not too close - ie you need distance if you were asked.

or, does help just have to be needed in the outside world?

What are your actual principles on giving financial help?

I pay a monthly fee to UNICEF, because I believe it is good to do. But I got to thinking, there are many closer to us who need it, so what would you do?

Really interested.

I wouldn’t give anything to anyone outside my immediate family. I could afford it but the reason my children will have a comfortable future is because I don’t give my money away.

For someone I know who is struggling I have
paid their utility bills
paid the top ups on their rent
bought food
loaned money to buy car
paid for insurance
bought essential items eg baby equipment
paid travel expenses to job interview
(not all same person)
I am not rich and sadly know enough people personally who need help that I can’t often give to strangers
I work for a charity, volunteer for 3 other charities and donate when and where I can
My maximum would be £1000 but that’s because I’ve not got more

Lol. With my principles, I educate very poor children in countries with no social welfare or free schooling. Not via the posh charities either. They need it more than any of my friends.

multiple people have asked and you still haven’t answered why only mothers/parents?

Since you’re so hot on implying others don’t have principles if they don't share your views on giving out money can you explain yours in only focusing on mothers?

I do think a lot of the people who fall on hard times are there because of some of the choices they have made in the past.

You sound so unpleasant.

Your principles don’t matter to me. Are you trying to make people feel bad if they’re not happy to give their money away? Why ? Why would you do that?

My friend that I used to help financially a lot over-extends herself each year at Christmas buying her kids fancy gadgets
and I think it impacts her financially for several months before /after Christmas. I’ve advised her to rein it in but she doesn’t want to listen. She also chooses to work part time. She also allows her partner/father of her children not to contribute to the kids presents or any Christmas food etc because he doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas although happily participates in the Christmas dinner no doubt .

These are all decisions she has made /makes, it’s up to her but I realised I didn’t want to pay for her choices anymore.

It’s starting to sound a bit like one of these dodgy pyramid schemes or MLMs. Mothers Helping Mothers - only £100 for the entry level and you’ll get 50p back when you recruit 1000 people.

WTF!! haha!! Do you not understand living by principles / a moral code which extends from personal to community to society to international people? Do you have no principles of kindness and compassion? Do you have no principles of 'there but for the grace of god'? Do you not understand the cost of living crisis? Do you not understand humanity? Maybe too much to ask from this platform. Maybe you're more comfortable of not actually thinking and are more comfortable of passing judgement on brides/mother-in-laws/how other people bring up their children?

Wow. This thread went rapidly from "no issue, I'm just interested, honest," to "if you don't agree with me then you have no principles."

Who refused you their money OP?

This. Before I potentially get deleted for previous posts, this is why you sound/come across unpleasant.

Because OP is very clearly a taker who feels entitled to others’ hard earned cash, rather than a giver 😄. It’s very easy to be generous with others’ money.

the poster just told you their principles. You don't agree with them, and you look down at the help people offer if it does not match your expectations.

So why don't you tell us, how much were you expected to be given and how often? Then we can tell you if you sound reasonable or not. I can guess the answer, but let's try.

So principles don't matter to you? Do hope you never have any need. Glad you're happy with your choices.

Just because they don't align with your alleged principles, you don't think people have any on this subject.

I'm of the opinion, charity begins at home, my home and my family, not some random who is of little importance.

And I would say to those - read the actual thread! It was an example. Wanting to know the principles one would act, not out of context words to pass judgement on.

Fair enough.

Think you’ve cracked it 😆 it’s the only logical explanation really to this rather strangely vague but accusatory thread!

It could have been an interesting thread, but it is just a bit weird instead.

I'm not asking!! I'm asking what your principles would be if you were to give if you could afford it. Did you not read the actual thread before you posted?

oh dear 😂😂

You keep ignoring the question, how much were you expected to be handed out?

You’ve said ‘principles’ so many times the word has lost all meaning.

Now do mango. Now that is a funny word!

So hypothetically - it would totally depend on the circumstances. If they were going to be £100 short this month, then £100 solves the problem. If they are £800 short this month, then £100 doesn’t really help much does it?

I can’t understand the question when you haven’t given the context.

Although less hypothetically I can’t really imagine myself doing this. I do give to charity and I try to help people out eg by offering to mind children if they need it etc, but not a cash gift.

I paid someone’s utility bill and arrears (2k). Not a family member nor really a friend but a single mum of two kids we know locally. Paid on the basis that we’ve been in enough tough situations in life and know that feeling of desperation and being up against a brick wall. No need to pay back but asked her to pass it on.