What amount of money would you give to help another mother?

[ShrigleyInc]

What amount of money would you give to a single mother / mother of one/two child(ten) who is actually facing huge destitution this month because pay has come in late, bills have risen, demands on finances (debt repayments and utility bills increasing)have risen (due to age of child and time of year) despite only able to live on basics for over two years?

The person is in your circle, maybe close, maybe distant. You may or may not like them. Your children may or may not like their child/ren.

Yet, on the principle of helping, where you can, you would, if asked (not that this is likely as the person in poverty has extreme shame in being in this situation, but is somehow connected to you) - would you do the following, if at asked?

Help by giving:
£100...because you can with no knock on effect to your life
£300...because you can with no knock on effect to your life
£500...because you can with no knock on effect to your life
£Even more because you can....

I ask this for the following reasons: does the help have to be close to home / not too close - ie you need distance if you were asked.

or, does help just have to be needed in the outside world?

What are your actual principles on giving financial help?

I pay a monthly fee to UNICEF, because I believe it is good to do. But I got to thinking, there are many closer to us who need it, so what would you do?

Really interested.

Not sure I understand your post, but why can’t you pop some money in an envelope and anonymously put it through the letter box?
Or is it because you want it back (I.e. to loan the money)?

As for the amount, only you can decide that.

As an aside, there are few charities I actually trust these days, especially the larger ones. So I do have a lot of sympathy with your idea of trying to help directly. I do feel that lots of people slip through the net, and I have often felt that I wish I was wealthy enough to be an undercover Santa, delivering gift tokens and envelopes of money 😆 wearing a big beard, Santa outfit, nipping around some of the houses where I live in the early hours of the morning 🤣🤣🤣. A lot of families where I live are struggling but they are working all hours. Some people just get by and get little or no help.

If my friend was in that state of need then I would give them thousands, or get them to move in with me for a year, or do something else to drastically get them back on track. There would be no point giving £500 and them being back in the same position the next month.

In terms of a cash gift to a struggling parent, I would rather they didn’t know who I was so I could do it once and not have to factor in affordability or future requests or guilt if I couldn’t keep it up. There is actually an amazing charity in the UK where you can scroll the (vetted) needs and buy people things like a washing machine (or contribute £20 towards) or groceries.

I wouldn't give anything, especially to someone (from your example) who I barely know and/or don't like. What a weird question.

So by “community” you mean “website”. So not someone I know or am connected to as your first post asks…

That’s two very different questions, and asked in quite a disingenuous way

I found it! Called Acts 435 - there are currently 220 needs active that you can support, can help set up a mother fleeing from DV, buy a family a fridge etc - https://www.acts435.org.uk/ no gift too big or too small.

No idea what your post may (or may not 🙃) be all about.
Just tell us what you actually want to ask instead of writing in riddles

When my family are doing OK I have left anonymous bags of shopping on the doorstep of families I know are struggling and popped untraceable envelopes of cash through letterboxes or on desks before today. I have had the same done for me when I've been strapped too. No idea who my supporter(s) are/were and I hope no one suspects me either! It's just what happens in a caring community. You have surplus and they don't so you share.

Is the question sort of, if you are happy to donate to a charity abroad, would you also be happy to provide charity closer to home for someone you knew? If so, my response would be rarely the latter. I feel as though people pay taxes in this country and donate to food banks to help those who need it already. So unless it was someone close who had suffered financial difficulties due to a one off incident (ill health, job loss etc) I probably wouldn't help an individual. Many people in third world countries however face such difficulties that I feel that generally they are on greater need of help.

I wouldn’t give- truthfully I wouldn’t give away from my child to someone else’s in 2023 Britain.

I wouldn't give money. I would invite them for dinner or similar

It seems to be a scam thread.

I wouldn’t give anything. I could afford to give about £30, but I wouldn’t because that £30 will only last her a day and she’ll be back in the same situation. Better that she access sustainable support without delay.

I honestly don’t know the answer as giving money is known to destroy friendships.

@ShrigleyInc having been involved for many years in the international development world (from both the UK and developing country side), I am sad to tell you most large international charities are not efficacious or productive ways to help those in need (unicef falls into this category). most of the money given is passed up the wall - often funding expensive accommodation and fancy cars for their very well paid staff (almost all ex pats so...). help people closer to home or donate to community led projects in the developing world. for example donations to food banks, or helping those you know personally.

I wouldn’t give them money.

I would give money to a good friend or relative but not an acquaintance.

I would rather give the money to charity, and have just donated for a charity helping Palestinians.

There is no one answer because the question covers a multitude of different situations.

I am more likely to give if I know the money will benefit a specific individual whom I know to be in genuine need (even if just of a dig out). I am less likely to give indirectly via a charity because my knowledge of charities leads me to believe money is often misspent and wasted even with the best of intentions.

It reads like your post was written by AI.

it depends on context and circumstances as to how much I’d give/do rather than a blanket rule

I am currently having a debate in my head about a similar situation, I think it is more complex then I will or I won't. Do I give the monitor pay off the rent arrears? What if they don't use it for that? What happens if they continue to be reckless with money?

Another person I am looking to be more practical, as in buying things that are needed, rather than giving money.

Why only a mother?

Never mind all of us OP, what would YOU do? Would you give and how much?

Not asking for money. Asking for what your principle re an issue is.

Nope. Asking what your principle is. If you have one. Principles are moral codes which we live by.

Why only a mother @ShrigleyInc ?

That chimes with me.