Just got a 'save the date' for a 2026 wedding

[Elizawho36]

Basically as the title reads for one of my friends wedding. We are in our mid 30's and whilst I'll of course be there, I can't help but feel sending them this early is a tad ridiculous! I know she's excited but every convo is about the wedding and going venue searching and it all seems odd to be for a wedding nearly 3 years away

Having said that I did get engaged to married in less than 12 months which I know isn't the norm.

YABU - she's just excited
YANBU - its way too early!

@CranfordScones 🤣🤯❣️

Dress shopping already! A friend's future DIL had her big extravagant dress about six months ahead, then went off it and her parents forked out for another one.

I know it's a Save the Date but I couldn't bear all the talk for the next three years!

I’d have thought the vast majority of people would prefer to use such a presumably substantial amount of money for a ‘destination’ holiday of their own choosing, anyway.
That’s assuming that they can afford it in the first place.

YANBU especially as it doesn't sound like she has booked anywhere anyway.

Is there any reason why they aren't getting married before then?

What is all this 'maybe people need notice to save' malarkey?!

Expecting guests to devote YEARS of their lives to saving for your bleepity wedding day is ratcheting up narcissistic entitlement to a whole new level!!

Automatic end of friendship right there.

If she has a specific date in mind for the wedding then there’s no harm letting people know it, up to them whether they choose to prioritise it or not. Most would probably just tell people who’d bung it in their phone calendars, but if she wants to fork out for save the date cards instead it’s not really doing any harm.

What if you hate the dress (actually I know someone who did this. Bought the dress the day after she got engaged, hated it 2 years later) and what if your body shape changes and it doesn’t suit?

Utterly batshit. Suggests it's going to be lavish and expensive too. Expect the marriage to last 2-3 years tops...

Meh. I organized my wedding in 90 minutes so can't relate to any of the drama around weddings at all.

That's just going from one extreme to the other. We had a smallish, fairly inexpensive wedding with only 35 people there, but it took more than 90 minutes to organise everything!

It's sweet, organised and also nuts.

Surely the more notice of the date the better. Presumably you don’t need to commit yet but if you want to go then it’s helpful to not book a holiday over it.

I wouldn’t have wanted to plan my wedding that far in advance but if they do then I don’t really see a problem.

@AlexaCanYouHearMe

Well the venue was ICU sooooo

Sorry I really shouldn't derail these threads. But weddings mean nothing, a healthy long life together does, that's what I wish everyone understood

That’s delightfully bonkers

It is a long time but I recently booked tickets for Hamilton on tour in April 25 and lots had already gone. I guess it just means people can think they will make sure they don’t plan a holiday then or book a show etc.

I’m sorry that sounds really rough.

But it’s fine for people to plan and enjoy weddings, the same as Christmas and holidays and whatnot. They are the icing rather than the cake for sure, but for many people they add a lot of sparkle to life.

My advice would be to not sweat it.

This is all about the wedding and nothing about the relationship. I suspect it'll all peak and implode long before September 2026.

Gently advise your friend to insure herself up to the back teeth. Then sit back and enjoy the drama.

I don't have a problem with it. Some people book holidays a long way off. The venue might be highly sought after. If they have booked it and paid deposit, why shouldn't they ask people to keep the date free?

That said, we went save the dates out maybe a year before or so, and DH's uncle and aunt still went and booked a holiday so doesn't mean it won't happen!

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER well ain't that the absolute truth! Have 3 lavish weddings in 2024 (so far) and I don't want to attend any!!! Could think of far better things to be doing with my money.

@PlantDoctor the venue isnt booked yet

I got a save the date over 2 years in advance and then the couple obviously decided that I wouldn’t actually be invited to the wedding … I never received an invitation and the date has come and gone.

They are married and I wish them all the best, but I’m sure if they’d have sent them out closer to the wedding date I wouldn’t have got a save the date at all!

Somewhat? 😂

So surprised at people really opinionated on this. I get you’ve probably posted as a sort of musing, OP, but really it wouldn’t bother me when a save the date was sent. I might comment briefly on how far in advance it was but that would be the extent of my thoughts on it. I’m really amused that people are getting their teeth into this one 😂

Well that's pants @BabyBabyBaby123

Ditto, we've had one for 2025 for about 6 months! I know it's exciting and they obviously want us there but who plans that far in advance? When I got married we invited people three months in advance.