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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday tomorrow - I really don't want to go!

205 replies

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2023 06:39

Don't have any choice unfortunately but I really don't want to go! Sister booked a Haven break for her two boys, her and me.

I woke up yesterday with the worst cold I've had in ages - I won't go into details but I feel properly crap. Not covid as far as I can tell but I'm a snotty, sore throated mess right now.

I've just seen the caravan we've been given and it's fucking miles from anything, surrounded by fields (which I know for a fact my sister is going to hate!) it means we're going to have to use the car for everything, and I'm not thrilled by that because sis can't physically drive atm so it'll all be on me. I honestly looked at the location and felt like crying 😭

Honestly I just want to stay at home but we're locked in at this point and if I don't go, no one will be able to go. ☹️

OP posts:
wooo69 · 23/10/2023 20:30

We have been to Haggerston a few times, we were there in June and were where the orange coloured vans are to the right of where you are. We did use the car but I had a broken ankle and was in a cast. We have been in the bigger blue bit round the lake to the right previously and walked easily from there. How old are the children? Three year old walked it easily.
The main building is near the trees on the left of the map.

RethinkingLife · 23/10/2023 20:39

OP, I admire your stoicism and fortitude.

I hope that you have some R&R during the holiday and don't spend it serving the needs of others.

helpplease01 · 23/10/2023 20:46

Don’t go.

Jamshedhead · 23/10/2023 20:53

Why didn't you ask to be moved to another caravan?? It would have made things a little more easier for you all.

Dibbydoos · 23/10/2023 21:12

I'm so sorry, @QuestionableMouse pls take cold and flu meds plus an antihistamine. They work really well together. Drink plenty of hot drinks. Stay warm. If the weather is good your sis and the kids can walk, you can stay in bed.

I really feel for you. I picked up a virus recently, never been so ill in all my life and it wasn't covid so must've been flu....

Jack80 · 23/10/2023 22:15

If your up for driving, drive but make sure sister knows you want to relax when you get there and no driving to anywhere as you feel ill

ZiriForEver · 23/10/2023 22:17

Jamshedhead · 23/10/2023 20:53

Why didn't you ask to be moved to another caravan?? It would have made things a little more easier for you all.

Why didn't you read the OP's updates? It would have saved you writing this question.

OldPerson · 23/10/2023 22:21

So four things seem at play. 1. If you don't drive them there and back, they can't go. 2. OP does not want to get involved in any activities. 3. OP is ill. 4. OP is no longer thrilled about what the holiday actually is. The solution scenarios to discuss with sister. 1. OP acts as taxi driver to/from destination and in return spends hoiday in bed in caravan, looked after. Sister and kids can walk/take local taxis. 2. OP does not go. No one else is going to fill in last minute unless its a relative with a vested interest in the kids being happy. Weather is rubbish. Sister will lose a lot of money. Personally, I'd compromise if I could, act as taxi driver to/from destination, expect to be ill and miserable in caravan and also expect sister and kids to make the most of it. Unless I was so ill I couldn't drive safely, I wouldn't let people down after setting their expectations.

Angelan86 · 23/10/2023 22:22

Aww glad you went! I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time. I love caravan holidays ❤️

ZiriForEver · 23/10/2023 22:22

dcthatsme · 23/10/2023 19:04

If you are really poorly and possibly have COVID but even if you don’t I doubt your sister will want to be in a small caravan with you sharing your germs. That might be a good way to bow out?

Reading the OP's updates might be a good way to start. I doubt her sister would be too worried about this specific germs which she had shared earlier herself.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 23/10/2023 23:14

Jamshedhead · 23/10/2023 20:53

Why didn't you ask to be moved to another caravan?? It would have made things a little more easier for you all.

We did but it's half term week and the place is packed! We were in a queue of about 15 cars coming in!

I feel okay, just very blah and pretty wiped out atm! Deffo feel better than I did yesterday though, so hopefully I'm on the mend! May suggest coming home on Thur afternoon rather than Fri morning if I still feel rubbish by then.

Have swimming and a few other activities booked for tomorrow which should be fun.

Kids are 7 & 5, they'd do the walk easily but with an injured leg (sister) and general grot (me) combined with the weather (rain forecast I think) I think we'll be using the car. I didn't track it very well but from the milage on the car I think it's about 1.5miles to the main facilities.

Caravan has very good heating - if anything it's too warm, even on the lowest setting.

I miss my cats ☹️

OP posts:
HomiesAlone · 23/10/2023 23:24

Ah , sorry this sound miserable.

Lizzy53 · 24/10/2023 00:35

Agree. Some one needs to accept that illness can and does happen and that's why there is insurance for these situations!

penpep · 24/10/2023 00:53

Yeah you sound like a wry blanket - do her a favour and don't go.

PinkyFlamingo · 24/10/2023 01:46

penpep · 24/10/2023 00:53

Yeah you sound like a wry blanket - do her a favour and don't go.

She's there. And how would you suggest everyone got there if she didn't go as she's the driver?

YokoOnosBigHat · 24/10/2023 02:03

As someone who's just had covid and tested positive for 15 days, I would rather have eaten my shoes than go and stay in a caravan. I also felt bad initially but felt much worse days 4-7 (tested positive on day three of symptoms after initial negative tests). 22 days on from the first symptoms how and I would still cry at the idea of having to go and stay in a caravan or anywhere than wasn't my own bed; still getting fevers, aching joints and randomly waking in a sweat.

If it's covid, stay at home: for your sake and everyone else's.

Original poster
QuestionableMouse · 24/10/2023 02:12

YokoOnosBigHat · 24/10/2023 02:03

As someone who's just had covid and tested positive for 15 days, I would rather have eaten my shoes than go and stay in a caravan. I also felt bad initially but felt much worse days 4-7 (tested positive on day three of symptoms after initial negative tests). 22 days on from the first symptoms how and I would still cry at the idea of having to go and stay in a caravan or anywhere than wasn't my own bed; still getting fevers, aching joints and randomly waking in a sweat.

If it's covid, stay at home: for your sake and everyone else's.

Honestly at this point I don't think it is covid, or if it is, it's not showing on a test at least. I've had five tests and all have been neg.

OP posts:
user1492757084 · 24/10/2023 05:16

Take a portable toilet and a good book.
You could be left in peace to read for most of the stay.

KateKateLee · 24/10/2023 07:59

QuestionableMouse · 24/10/2023 02:12

Honestly at this point I don't think it is covid, or if it is, it's not showing on a test at least. I've had five tests and all have been neg.

Show quote history

Due to testing it takes longer for covid to test positive. When you test you isolate so those variants die out or become less prevalent. The ones that remain are those that take longer to test positive as people test for a couple of days then give up, so people with covid are still mixing with others and that strain continues. It’s an evolutionary strategy. Darwinism in action meaning we should test for longer if we have symptoms.

ilikemethewayiam · 24/10/2023 10:09

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2023 07:44

I've been doing LFTs. Also bought and did a flu test from tesco yesterday - all clear so far.

I will speak to her but it's a bit early yet! I also know how she is and know exactly how she's going to react ☹️

Show quote history

Then your sister is very selfish if her needs trump yours! Doesn’t she care that you’re ill? if not then that would be reason enough for me to bow out. I can’t bare this sort of behaviour. It’s particularly galling as you got it from her in the first place. My sister is a bit like this. We’ve had a few blowups under similar circumstances. I hate feeling bullied by knowing if I have to pull out of something due to poor health then someone will kick off!

which is the lesser of 2 evils for you?

CatMadam · 24/10/2023 12:18

Redkez · 23/10/2023 19:53

Covid is a cold so that shouldn't be a factor. Take some.cld and flu and it wuppertal probably be gone before you get home. If you're ill there stay in bed and they'll have to walk.places

Covid definitely isn’t a cold, it’s bloody awful! It basically knocked me out for at least a week, never been as sick in my life!

MrsSlocombesCat · 24/10/2023 12:33

A bit late now - and I keep posting this. I haven’t had a cold since before lockdown and I used to get at least three every winter. My son never gets colds so I wondered why and then thought about the Beconase nose spray he uses daily for allergies. Since then I have been using it - not every day but when I feel I might be getting a cold or have been exposed to one. I use it for a few days. I still feel slightly achey with a mild sore throat but it doesn’t develop into a full blown, snotty, coughing cold. Ever.

MrsSlocombesCat · 24/10/2023 12:35

user1492757084 · 24/10/2023 05:16

Take a portable toilet and a good book.
You could be left in peace to read for most of the stay.

Portable toilet??!

LIZS · 24/10/2023 13:08

Why did your sister not look to move caravan nearer beforehand if she has ongoing mobility issues? Could they borrow bikes/mobility scooter?

CathyFitzs · 24/10/2023 13:20

What about driving them there/ I know it will be really hard- but then retreating to your bedroom once you arrive until you feel better? They will just have to manage without you but at least you will have got them there so that will help salve your conscience. Tell your sister that that’s what’s happening then she also has the chance to cancel. Good luck