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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Holiday tomorrow - I really don't want to go!

205 replies

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2023 06:39

Don't have any choice unfortunately but I really don't want to go! Sister booked a Haven break for her two boys, her and me.

I woke up yesterday with the worst cold I've had in ages - I won't go into details but I feel properly crap. Not covid as far as I can tell but I'm a snotty, sore throated mess right now.

I've just seen the caravan we've been given and it's fucking miles from anything, surrounded by fields (which I know for a fact my sister is going to hate!) it means we're going to have to use the car for everything, and I'm not thrilled by that because sis can't physically drive atm so it'll all be on me. I honestly looked at the location and felt like crying 😭

Honestly I just want to stay at home but we're locked in at this point and if I don't go, no one will be able to go. ☹️

OP posts:
FriendsDrinkBook · 22/10/2023 07:57

Agree with a pp , looks like haggerston Castle. Nice Park , but a good 20 min walk to the shop from where you will be. If you go you'll just be ill in a caravan with papa johns delivery for dinner every night. I really wouldn't go. Sounds miserable.

embolass · 22/10/2023 07:57

Is your sister a fellow mumsnetter? She may well know already 😬

Fulshaw · 22/10/2023 08:00

QuestionableMouse · 22/10/2023 07:46

It's five hours by public transport and God knows how much money 😬 sis has an injury atm and I honestly don't know if she'd manage public transport physically.

Show quote history

Five hours isn’t an issue, you can’t check into these places until 3-4pm so they have all day to get there. Your sister can book or ask for assistance on trains or coaches (plenty of disabled people us public transport) and if the kids are old enough, they can carry a bag each. Suggest they take minimal luggage and you bring the rest.

Just leaves the cost but it’s going to cheaper than losing all the money already paid.

saveforthat · 22/10/2023 08:04

I wouldn't go. I wouldn't fancy a caravan in October anyway, a caravan in October with a heavy cold and me doing all the driving-no way.

Bellavida99 · 22/10/2023 08:12

Definitely phone and see if there’s a nearer caravan explaining your sister has an injury. Just checking you’ve got a caravan with central heating as they get ever so cold even in summer! As you can’t check in til mid afternoon Monday how about going really early Tuesday morning instead? Give you a bit more recovery time. You’d have to phone and let haven know if you’re doing this though. Hope you’re feeling better soon

Riverlee · 22/10/2023 08:14

Can you say you’ll go on Tuesday? Give yourself a couple of days to get better.

JMSA · 22/10/2023 08:16

Go on the trip because you've committed to the driving thing, and then stay in bed for the first day when you get there. Unless you're really incapacitated, it would be a shame to disappoint the kids.
You definitely shouldn't be having to schlepp around as soon as you get there though!

Bunnycat101 · 22/10/2023 08:17

I have been flattened by the lurgy circulating at the moment. A week later I’m still coughing up lots of gunk and am tired. There were definitely days I couldn’t have driven that distance safely. think you do need to delay a day to give you a chance to rest.

AussieManque · 22/10/2023 08:18

COVID tests most reliable from day 4 of symptoms at the moment, and even then a negative doesn't mean it's not COVID.

I'm sure your sister and nephews wouldn't appreciate coming down with whatever you have. Can you shell out for a taxi to take them?

Moomoomo · 22/10/2023 08:20

I think if you are genuinely struggling to get to the bathroom then it's not just a cold!

Lovelyweatheragain · 22/10/2023 08:23

OP, if you’re really unwell you need to stay and rest at home today. You’ll feel much worse and delay your recovery by putting your body under strain today. Just tell her you’re ill and you’ll go tomorrow assuming you’re a bit better. Tough if things are booked for the first day, they’ll just have to be missed. It’s only one day. Stay home and rest. The stick up on cold remedies etc and set off tomorrow, assuming it’s just a cold and you can manage it.

fourelementary · 22/10/2023 08:24

A taxi for a 90 mile journey?!?

Mikimoto · 22/10/2023 08:26

worst-case scenario, drop them off in centre of park then drive straight back to caravan for a rest/siesta in peace

margotrose · 22/10/2023 08:32

If you're struggling to walk to the bathroom then you're not safe to drive.

Zanatdy · 22/10/2023 08:34

I’d contact them ask and if there’s a closer caravan. It’s worth a shot, then they can walk to the main area whilst you rest. I totally get why you don’t want to cancel, I wouldn’t want to let down 2 excited kids either.

Zanatdy · 22/10/2023 08:35

fourelementary · 22/10/2023 08:24

A taxi for a 90 mile journey?!?

I can’t even imagine how much that would cost. Probably more than the holiday there and back

Tessisme · 22/10/2023 08:36

If you've got what I had a fortnight ago, you have my deepest sympathy. I was so unwell and I slept and slept and slept. I sent poor DS1 back to school a bit too early when he had it and he fell asleep at his desk. I usually just 'get on with it' when I'm ill, not because I'm some sort of martyr, but because I have no choice. But whatever that was, I was absolutely floored and there is no way on earth I could have driven for two hours to stay in a caravan. I managed to drive DS2 a 2-3 minute journey to school, then came home sweating, with my heart pounding. If you are feeling anything like that, don't put yourself, your family and other road users at risk for the sake of a holiday. Hope you feel better soonFlowers

Warum · 22/10/2023 08:37

Zanatdy · 22/10/2023 08:34

I’d contact them ask and if there’s a closer caravan. It’s worth a shot, then they can walk to the main area whilst you rest. I totally get why you don’t want to cancel, I wouldn’t want to let down 2 excited kids either.

Nobody 'wants' to let down (someone else's) excited kids, but nobody wants to be ill either.

Where we live there have been a crazy number of boats cancelled, due to extreme weather, and lots of folk have had to cancel trips away/here to visit - all these people were sad but also had to accept that things sometimes need to be cancelled.

hastalavista · 22/10/2023 08:38

Your sister should've got insurance maybe? Because anything could've happened to you and she would lose her money, that's the risk u take.

IHavetoadmit · 22/10/2023 08:38

Haggeston castle in any weather, just don't. Download a COVID test online.

TheNoodlesIncident · 22/10/2023 08:39

Moomoomo · 22/10/2023 08:20

I think if you are genuinely struggling to get to the bathroom then it's not just a cold!

OP says I have a chronic illness so unfortunately a bad cold can totally flatten me.

She'll know if her DSis and her kids have just had it and given it to her. In these circumstances my sister would feel horrified and guilty that her family had passed on a bug to me, but OP's sister sounds made of harder stuff if she kicks off because OP isn't well now.

If it was me and I couldn't get someone else to go in my place, I'd get as much rest as possible then see how I was for driving. I'd ask DSis to try to swop the caravan for one in a more central location on the grounds that DSis has injury and mobility problems. At the caravan I'd just stay in bed as much as possible dosed up on meds while sister and niblings go out and do their thing.

It's one of these unfortunate things that just can't be helped, but OP's sister should be doing what she can to mitigate the burden on OP.

Mulhollandmagoo · 22/10/2023 08:40

If it it haggerston, it is a big park - beautiful but big, there is a land train though which may help your sister and her children get around.

You need to consider all of your options OP;

  • You tell your sister you are too ill to go, and none of you go
  • Your sister finds another way to get there
  • You go, drive there tomorrow and you relax in the caravan for a couple of days and enjoy the back end of your holiday
  • You postpone until Tuesday, giving you another day in bed to relax
  • Your sister calls Haven and asks them for a closer caravan, explain your chronic illness and her injury

If you want to do one of the too two, you really need to tell your sister sooner rather than later so she can make other arrangements. It always bloody typical when you really could do without being poorly, that's when it gets you, and for those saying COVID, around our way there is something going around, a shocking virus/cold but everyone is testing negative. I think it's just the start of cold and flu season.

PlanningTowns · 22/10/2023 08:40

I feel your pain… this cold that is doing the rounds is hideous. I’ve had it since Wednesday and whilst it’s getting better my throat is super sore and I have a constant headache - no positive covid test though (just had my booster and flu vac).

im driving to a gig tonight - similar distance away. I’m going because I love the band and I feel better than 2 days ago but I know I won’t be jumping up and down like normal!!!

rest as much as you can, and if you truly feel you can’t cancel dose yourself up with paracetamol and congestion meds before you’re journey and then rest when you get there - let them look after you. Take a good book and just hang in the caravan until you feel a bit better. Also those maps are terrible as there are normally cut throughs and paths.

WomanOfSteel · 22/10/2023 08:40

Is it a Haven site? If so have you downloaded the app as you may be able to change your caravan on there. It does cost to change (they’re varying rates), but it might be worth it to be closer to the amenities. There may also be a land train or a bus going through the site as there was at the one I went to.

PoptartPoptart · 22/10/2023 08:42

I had similar symptoms recently, I tested negative for Covid but I was convinced that it was. I tested every day and it wasn’t until day 4 that it showed up as positive.
I think you should stay at home if you feel that unwell. It’s not fair to pass it on to everyone else you might come in contact with in the restaurants and communal areas.