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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shop came while WFH

267 replies

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 13:55

I realise this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing about but interested in opinions of whose in the wrong here.

A orders the food shop to come 10-11am. B is working at home at that time. A expects to be home by 10 but ends up running late by 15 minutes. The shop arrives at 10am and B has to take it in and put the frozen things away. A puts the rest away. A says they would have messaged B that the shop was coming but normally this supermarket sends a text 15 mins before they arrive and they didn't this time. B thinks A was inconsiderate not to let them know the shop might come before they were home.

A and B are now in a stand off as B won't let it go until A apologises for being inconsiderate and A doesn't accept that they were inconsiderate.

YABU - A is in the worng
YANBU - B is in the wrong

If you can't tell we're both extremely stubborn.

OP posts:
Frasers · 20/10/2023 13:56

B is wrong, I mean god sake it was taking a shop in and putting some frozen stuff in freezer, they need to get a grip

OneTC · 20/10/2023 13:57

Pointless bollocks

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 20/10/2023 13:57

A should have said shopping is being delivered 10-11, i should be home but if not FYI the doorbell may ring.

Terrifyingface · 20/10/2023 13:57

B is being a knob.

SaracensMavericks · 20/10/2023 13:58

Was B on a call? If so it is a bit embarrassing to have to excuse yourself to let the shopping in. If they were just sitting at their desk working then it's no bother.

BoohooWoohoo · 20/10/2023 13:58

A should have warned B that it was coming but putting the shopping away is hardly a difficult task so B needs to get a grip.

Flickersy · 20/10/2023 13:58

B is being ridiculous assuming they don't have any pressing deadlines / meetings etc that mean they really needed to focus on work.

But really everyone just needs to communicate better. A needs to tell B what time the shop is coming, B needs to tell A if they can't be disturbed.

Cheeesus · 20/10/2023 13:59

Depends on B’s job.

TobiasForgesContactLense · 20/10/2023 13:59

Unless B was in a meeting they really need to get over it.

CuriousGeorge80 · 20/10/2023 14:00

I do think A should have given a heads up that it may arrive before they were home, but unless B was on a call then it’s a complete none issue and not worth any sort of falling out!

Fizzadora · 20/10/2023 14:00

Are A & B actually adults?

Notcookie · 20/10/2023 14:00

Seems a very transactional relationship. Where is the kindness?

mumto2teenagers · 20/10/2023 14:01

A should have told B the shopping was coming if they were not home for the start of the time slot.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/10/2023 14:01

Unless B was in a really important call, they need to get over themselves. Lots of people get their shopping whilst WFH and then just put frozen things away, leave the rest out til their lunchtime. It must have taken 5 mins if that!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 20/10/2023 14:01

I mean ideally A should have text when running late but it wouldn’t have changed anything.

TheFlis · 20/10/2023 14:01

A was inconsiderate. DH and I both WFH most of the time but I would never order a shop without letting him know to ensure if I got stuck on a client call, he is able to take delivery. If there was even a chance I might be out I would definitely check with him.

Muststopeating · 20/10/2023 14:01

Depends if B had a 10am meeting. If so then A is unreasonable unless the delay absolutely could not be predicted. I WFH and some of my meetings are with board level management. It would be entirely unacceptable for me to leave to take in the shopping. But in that instance I wouldn't have done... The door would have gone unanswered and shopping not taken in.

If B was just at desk then B is unreasonable as the time it would have taken isn't much more than a loo break.

So it depends...

KrisAkabusi · 20/10/2023 14:01

A should have texted but B is overreacting.

Bearbookagainandagain · 20/10/2023 14:01

Did B knew the shopping was coming at all?
I would have been pretty pissed off if a big shop was coming whilst I was working, and I didn't know about it. It does take some time to get it and put it away.

DappledThings · 20/10/2023 14:01

A should have let B know a shop was coming but B is massively overreacting.

If I was A I would probably apologise for the disturbance but it wouldn't he a big deal (neither the issue itself nor the apology would be a big deal).

If I was B I would accept the apology with a "no worries". If there was no apology I would put it down to one of those things and assume no disruption intentional.

Seems like a non-event for anyone to have the arse about.

PerspiringElizabeth · 20/10/2023 14:02

OneTC · 20/10/2023 13:57

Pointless bollocks

Absolutely 😄

misssunshine4040 · 20/10/2023 14:02

Such a non event. Do people have no real problems to get angry about?

I can't even imagine being any more than mildly irritated by this and then that's it.

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/10/2023 14:03

Suggest it’s not A’s fault the shop didn’t text re delivery time and frankly putting a few groceries away isn’t the end of the world and B should grow up!

AlexaCanYouHearMe · 20/10/2023 14:03

What a utterly pointless and pathetic argument. Have you (both) got nothing better to do? Hmm

PerspiringElizabeth · 20/10/2023 14:03

Sounds like you’re housemates.

So if you’re partners/married, that doesn’t bode well 😬

If you’re housemates, stuff like this just comes with the territory and make up for the peace of the household! Life’s too short.