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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shop came while WFH

267 replies

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 13:55

I realise this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing about but interested in opinions of whose in the wrong here.

A orders the food shop to come 10-11am. B is working at home at that time. A expects to be home by 10 but ends up running late by 15 minutes. The shop arrives at 10am and B has to take it in and put the frozen things away. A puts the rest away. A says they would have messaged B that the shop was coming but normally this supermarket sends a text 15 mins before they arrive and they didn't this time. B thinks A was inconsiderate not to let them know the shop might come before they were home.

A and B are now in a stand off as B won't let it go until A apologises for being inconsiderate and A doesn't accept that they were inconsiderate.

YABU - A is in the worng
YANBU - B is in the wrong

If you can't tell we're both extremely stubborn.

OP posts:
43ontherocksporfavor · 21/10/2023 20:21

A is in the wrong. B took the shop in and unpack the frozen stuff. What’s wrong with that?

happylittlesloth · 21/10/2023 20:34

Cheeesus · 20/10/2023 13:59

Depends on B’s job.

This. It would be really awkward in my job if the doorbell was going and I knew it was a food delivery and I had to stop and get it.

happylittlesloth · 21/10/2023 20:35

MrsMrsD · 21/10/2023 19:45

B needs to have a word with themselves. 2 minutes, if that, to put freezer stuff away is hardly a huge distraction. I'm sure they think they're very important at work but doubt they'd be missed for 2 minutes.

Depends on what their job involves.

happylittlesloth · 21/10/2023 20:36

DragonFly98 · 20/10/2023 18:20

B did not need to bring the shopping inside frozen food is fine for 15 mins in this weather x

Someone might have nicked it

CauliflowerBalti · 21/10/2023 20:36

What’s really going on in your relationship? This stand off isn’t about putting shopping away.

pollymere · 21/10/2023 20:36

A polite mention would've been good. Finding out if B had a meeting that would be disturbed by a delivery would've been good too. I think B was nice to put things away.

givemeasunnyday · 21/10/2023 20:38

Frasers · 20/10/2023 13:56

B is wrong, I mean god sake it was taking a shop in and putting some frozen stuff in freezer, they need to get a grip

This. Honestly, what a fuss over nothing!

Also, B didn't have to put the frozens away, surely they would have been fine for a few minutes until A arrived home.

43ontherocksporfavor · 21/10/2023 20:45

B was trying to be helpful and probably wanted a bit of acknowledgement for the unexpected inconvenience. Did A swan in and not mention it?

SuperA1982 · 21/10/2023 20:46

Is B going to eat this food? If yes, then B needs to STFU.

McIntire · 21/10/2023 20:51

SuperA1982 · 21/10/2023 20:46

Is B going to eat this food? If yes, then B needs to STFU.

The person ordering the food should order it for a time they’re going to be there, or at least arrange a suitable time with the other

43ontherocksporfavor · 21/10/2023 21:00

Changed my mind. B is wrong to not let it go. It’s a storm in a tea cup. Easily solved with ‘ Yeah sorry about that, thanks for getting it in and putting those bits away.’
‘ No worries but I might not always be free to do that, just so you know.’

Lollipop81 · 21/10/2023 21:18

Is this a real post 😂 it is so trivial not even worth thinking about

FiddleLeaf · 21/10/2023 21:19

Surely life is too short for this crap.

What’s the real issue in your relationship?

Coco1379 · 21/10/2023 21:33

Life is too short…

Yourcatisnotsorry · 21/10/2023 21:49

A is unreasonable. They booked the slot and should have been home. Could have been problematic for B if on calls, deadline etc.

melj1213 · 21/10/2023 22:02

MrsMrsD · 21/10/2023 19:45

B needs to have a word with themselves. 2 minutes, if that, to put freezer stuff away is hardly a huge distraction. I'm sure they think they're very important at work but doubt they'd be missed for 2 minutes.

But it's not two minutes though and even if it was "only" two minutes it was two minutes during Bs work day when the OP has no idea if B could afford to step away from work for those two minutes.

In the end it worked out fine in that B was able to do it but I hate people presuming they have any kind of claim on my time - if I'm at work then you should not expect that I can just walk away from what I'm doing at any given moment - sometimes I might be able to walk away and other times I 100% can't but I don't know myself when those times are so you can't assume I'm free, but if you give me prior notice (IE "Delivery is due between 10-11, I should be home but, just in case I'm not, are you OK to bring it in?") then I will do my best to make sure I'm not doing a "can't walk away" task unless/until the other person is home and/or the delivery has arrived.

B had no notice of the delivery coming so when the door went they probably thought it was the postman or OP had forgotten keys or something so they would be away from their desk for a minute or two ... Instead they had to deal with the grocery delivery which will have taken a minimum of 5 mins to actually accept (answer the door, confirm delivery, empty totes (and/or wait for driver to bring entire shop from van), return totes to driver, and bring it all in. B may have had a free minute to take a parcel/let OP in but did not have the 5-10 mins to spare at that moment to accept the groceries, but once they'd opened the door and realised what it was then they could hardly close it again and ignore the driver at that point, which is probably what annoyed them more, especially as the OP could have told them at any point "Hey I booked the food shop delivery for this morning" even just as an FYI.

Snowflakeslayer · 21/10/2023 22:11

Sounds like you both have bigger issues than shopping deliveries to be concerned about.

Missingpop · 21/10/2023 22:35

Ffs grow up & find a real problem to write about this is the sort of thing I had to deal with in the school playground 20yrs ago

LubyLooTwo · 21/10/2023 22:53

What a ridiculous thing to be worrying about.

changeme4this · 21/10/2023 23:41

I voted YANBU. We had to move cattle down the road one day and the property owner was WFH and offered to help at the set time.

Mid way with cattle on the move, I get a message PO was in a meeting and wouldn’t be able to assist… so no one up front to wave at potential oncoming traffic.

for 15 minutes your B could have left the chilled items in a dark corner.

Jacesmum1977 · 22/10/2023 00:29

So long as you weren’t on a work call, it doesn’t matter if you’re wfh. It’s a bit of shopping, not paint the MichaelAngelo.
Sorry 🤭

payens · 22/10/2023 00:45

Boring

Skybluepinky · 22/10/2023 01:04

Petty, obviously nothing else going on in their lives.

Manicpixidreamgirl · 22/10/2023 01:18

I am astonished at the responses that B is unreasonable. They were working!

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 22/10/2023 01:50

B is a tit. Unless they were on a scheduled work call.