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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shop came while WFH

267 replies

Kiopa · 20/10/2023 13:55

I realise this is a ridiculous thing to be arguing about but interested in opinions of whose in the wrong here.

A orders the food shop to come 10-11am. B is working at home at that time. A expects to be home by 10 but ends up running late by 15 minutes. The shop arrives at 10am and B has to take it in and put the frozen things away. A puts the rest away. A says they would have messaged B that the shop was coming but normally this supermarket sends a text 15 mins before they arrive and they didn't this time. B thinks A was inconsiderate not to let them know the shop might come before they were home.

A and B are now in a stand off as B won't let it go until A apologises for being inconsiderate and A doesn't accept that they were inconsiderate.

YABU - A is in the worng
YANBU - B is in the wrong

If you can't tell we're both extremely stubborn.

OP posts:
YDBear · 22/10/2023 02:04

Can’t for the life of me understand how A could not have told B there might be a delivery—don’t they talk to each other in that house—or why B would make a fuss about having to answer the door (if not on a call). Why would people make each other unhappy over such trivial nonsense? Jeez, no wonder so many marriages fail.

Bunda · 22/10/2023 02:17

Not even in a meeting? Divorce.

Lookingatthesunset · 22/10/2023 02:45

Catch a grip!

DJhowzy · 22/10/2023 07:56

I feel sorry for poor little C!

threatmatrix · 22/10/2023 11:35

I am finding the whole scenario pathetic. I mean B making a fuss over a bit of shopping.

LovingPuertoRico · 22/10/2023 15:12

Seriously is this what you’re arguing about,
jeesus 😱

easylikeasundaymorn · 22/10/2023 15:20

SaracensMavericks · 20/10/2023 13:58

Was B on a call? If so it is a bit embarrassing to have to excuse yourself to let the shopping in. If they were just sitting at their desk working then it's no bother.

really? Everyone steps away from meetings/calls to briefly answer the door all the time in my work, it's not considered inappropriate at all. Unless it's something like interviewing someone, I accept that would be a bit awkward but given B also had time to put all the frozen stuff away they can't have been on a call or doing anything incredibly urgent or it could have waited - frozen stuff can last the 10-20 minutes it can take to get from the supermarket to home if shopping in person, after all.

Think you are both a bit in the wrong, A should have mentioned it as a courtesy - what if B had headphones in/went out for a walk or hung up washing in the garden, you would have completely missed the delivery. But the actual effect on B is so miniscule it's petty to sulk about it.

Starchipenterprise · 22/10/2023 18:03

One of the many pointless threads that seems to make its way to Mumsnet these days!

Passepartoute · 22/10/2023 23:41

Starchipenterprise · 22/10/2023 18:03

One of the many pointless threads that seems to make its way to Mumsnet these days!

And yet you clicked on it, read it and commented.

IncompleteSenten · 23/10/2023 07:39

Starchipenterprise · 22/10/2023 18:03

One of the many pointless threads that seems to make its way to Mumsnet these days!

Most threads in any chatroom are 'pointless' because most general chat is 'pointless'.

Or rather, the point is to chat.the interaction is the point, not what's being said.

RampantIvy · 23/10/2023 07:43

We end up in these stubborn stand offs where neither of us wants to back down over what we both know is a very minor issue.

You both need to grow up.

YireosDodeAver · 23/10/2023 07:53

Do you two just not like each other much?

I can't imagine this set of circumstances leading to a post like this within a loving relationship. Basic consideration for each other would mean that person who was late would say "oh no I am so sorry you had to deal with that alone when you were working" the instant they get home and find what happened, and the person wfh is by default basically ok because it's not a big deal to get the frozen stuff away, it's their food too and they might be more concerned about what ever stressful eventuality caused the delay, so wouldn't be getting huffy about the imposition.

Work out whether you like each other enough to continue living together. If yes, then both of you act with more basic consideration and empathy towards one another. If no then go your separate ways.

AfterWeights · 23/10/2023 08:23

Given that lots of people have to drive 20 mins home with all their fridge and frozen stuff in the car, couldn't it just have sat in bags a few mins for A to return

Bellyblueboy · 23/10/2023 08:26

AfterWeights · 23/10/2023 08:23

Given that lots of people have to drive 20 mins home with all their fridge and frozen stuff in the car, couldn't it just have sat in bags a few mins for A to return

Do you not still have to answer the door though and bring it inside? I use Tesco and they won’t just leave it (unless you have Covid - not even sure if that’s a thing anymore).

so you sorting talking in a meeting or delivering a presentation and the door bell goes multiple times - do you ignore the person at the door or excuse yourself from the meeting? In a lot of my meetings I would have to ignore.

daftyduck · 23/10/2023 11:43

First world problems...Meanwhile in Israel........
Grow up the pair of you....

igor · 23/10/2023 12:11

I'm on B's team. I WFH and it does mean that your home life interferes with your work life sometimes.

If I'm on an in office day then nobody would expect me to take in the shopping because I'm at work. When I'm WFH I'm also at work, but can be randomly interrupted by things and when that happens regularly I do end up feeling annoyed and will have to (gently) remind my family that I'm working.

Toodlepip100 · 26/10/2023 17:23

B can do their own shopping .Knob

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